"Southern Charm," Episode 2: "Roamin' Around"
What is the worst thing that can happen to a "Southern Charm" fan like myself? An episode built around Landon's "business." Seriously. After it being talked about most of the episode and the focus of a lot of the episode, along with her party, I still couldn't tell you what it does or what it's for. I also don't care to go look it up. That's right. It doesn't even warrant a Google search. Sorry Landon. Sorry Roam and sorry especially to Landon's business partner, Anna. So, what else happened besides Landon's doomed to fail app? Let's jump right in.
You know what else is pretty bad? Starting an episode with a conversation between the Gruesome Twosome aka Whitney and T. Rav. Seriously. The whole thing is so gross and rape-y. No one wants to hear two middle-aged, overly Botox-ed boys talk about having sex with college girls in bar bathrooms or say things like "single and ready to mingle." And can someone please tell me what makes Whitney qualified to deem T. Rav a "good father?" I realize the majority of the cast is trying to push this Thomas is a better parent than Kathryn narrative, but I don't see it. Yes, we have no proof he isn't doing drugs, but is sequestering your children to a guest house with the nanny really being a good dad? Can someone please explain to me why Whitney continues to be on the show? I know they want to keep Patricia around but do they have to be mutually exclusive?
Speaking of mommy dearest, we get our first extended glimpse of Kathryn in this episode. I have never been a big fan of Kathryn. With her wild facial expressions and tendency to go full on Looney Tunes, but it was hard not to soften towards her as she completely owned up to her actions and fresh out of rehab passed the drug test we saw her going to at the end of the premiere. It's nice to see Danni supporting Kathryn and hopefully the rest of the crew will get on board. That's not to say that all traces of the old Kathryn have disappeared. When Danni brings up Kathryn's "friend," Jennifer, her demeanor changes and you just know when these two ladies come face to face it's going to be "That's all folks."
Speaking of Jennifer, she recently had a baby, Ascher, who was born with brain matter emerging from his skull. Luckily, doctors were able to perform a successful surgery and he seems to be doing well. Cameran comes to visit and after some awkward infant holding that seems to reinforce the idea that motherhood is not for Cameran, talk again turns to Kathryn and Jennifer's "friendship." Jennifer seems a little surprised that Kathryn hasn't reached out to her since the baby was born and we all know these two are headed towards a sit-down that is not going to go well.
Cameran and her friend Chelsea meet for lunch and Cameran pushes Shep on her, hard. I'm not sure why. Cameran seems to like Chelsea. She has to know this isn't going to end well. Cameran does say she sees Chelsea as the female, non-whore version of Shep. Should she be offended? They end the episode having a weird three way date and there seems to be some chemistry, so maybe?
Sheppy continues his unhealthy obsession with Craig's law career, or lack thereof. The two former bros, fo-bros(?), we'll work on it, meet up at the batting cage. Craig initially tells Shep that he is close, but ends up being pretty late. This friendship is going nowhere fast. Sheppy hits Craig hard on the whole taking the bar scenario and then tells Craig that Whitney, Cameran and Shep have a secret text chain that Craig is not a part of where they bash him. It's so juvenile and Shep looks terrible. Why does he care so much about this? It doesn't really make sense. We all have friends that make bad decisions or decisions we don't agree with, but part of being a friend is letting that happen and being there for them. I don't know. I'm just over it and Craig seems to be too.
Craig is enjoying his leisure time. While Naomie is working on finishing her Master's, Craig is developing his relationship with their cat, Gizmo. He also seems to be working hard to convince Bravo to pick up a spin-off focused on he and Gizmo's wacky adventures and to be completely clear, I would watch the shit out of that. Let's get that greenlit Andy Cohen.
I'm starting a petition to get Naomie a full-time cast slot next season, dating Craig or not. She is amazing. She's a great girlfriend. I love how she supported Craig when he was relaying his conversation with Shep, but she also was in tough love mode as she pressed Craig on what he wanted to do with his life. It makes sense for Naomie to push Craig in this way. She obviously loves him and wants a future with him, so it's important for her to know what Craig really wants. It is the only genuine conversation anyone has had with Craig about his career aspirations. I'm rooting for these crazy kids.
(For the record, when confronted about the supposed shit talking and secret group text, Cameran denies the former but owns up to the latter, but she claims it's simply to mock Craig's ridiculous Instagram.)
Blergh. I guess we have to talk about Landon's "business venture" now? I don't want to. It's not going to go anywhere. It's dumb. It doesn't seem any different than any other travel website/app. The most interesting thing is that apparently Sheppy was investing his parents money into some app and the developers met with Landon and she supposedly insulted them and said she only hangs out with billionaires. It totally sounds like something Landon would say, because she's Landon, but should Shep really pull Landon aside at her own party to give her a condescending lecture about how one should conduct business? Neither one of them really have a leg to stand on, so it's hard to really be invested in the whole conversation.
In fact, the best parts of Landon's party are things that happen in the periphery. What was up with T. Rav's weird French pep talk to himself in the mirror before the party? How convinced are we that Whitney's kooky British date, Daisy, was actually a prostitute? I'm 100% convinced and no one will sway me the other way. Sorry. Drew, Landon's boy toy, comes dressed in a tuxedo and I'm ready to make fun of how dumb he is, but turns out he's going to a wedding after. Grr. You win this round, Drew, but I know you're an idiot and I plan on exploiting it.
So, what did you guys think? Does anyone care about Landon's app? Does Shep need to let go of his Craig obsession? Do you love Naomie as much as I do? Will Shep and Chelsea make a love connection? Are you surprised that Kathryn hasn't factored more into the action yet? Was Austen even in this episode? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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