The 85th Annual Academy Awards Predictions

The 85th Annual Academy Awards: Who Will/Should Win

Tonight is the 85th Annual Academy Awards.  I have hopes that this will be a really entertaining telecast.  Seth MacFarlane is hosting.  He is the creator of Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show.  And of course, the hit summer comedy, Ted.  He is an odd choice and it seems they are desperately trying to lure in younger viewers.  I think he will do a great job.  He will bring the edge, but he has an appreciation for old Hollywood, that I think he will also bring to the Kodak stage.  We also have the Oscar debut of Adele, who will be performing her probably Oscar winning original song, "Skyfall," a tribute to James Bond, and the cast of Les Misérables performing together.  Now, without further adieu, here are my Oscar predictions, who I think will win and who I think should win.

Best Picture

Amour

Argo

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Django Unchained

Les Misérables

Life of Pi

Lincoln

Silver Linings Playbook

Zero Dark Thirty

Will Win:  Argo.  Turns out a Best Director snub was the best  thing that could have happened to Ben Affleck.  His movie has won the majority of the pre-Oscar prizes, so expect it to take top honors tonight.
Should Win:  Silver Linings Playbook.  I've seen it twice and each time I get something new from it.  The Academy must agree since all four leads are nominated and Jennifer Lawrence is the favorite to take home the Best Actress statuette.

Actor in a Leading Role

Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook

Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln

Hugh Jackman in Les Misérables

Joaquin Phoenix in The Master

Denzel Washington in Flight

Will/Should Win:  Daniel Day-Lewis.  Come on.  There is no way that Day-Lewis won't walk away tonight with his third Oscar in this category.  He embodied our 16th President in a way that I have never seen another actor do.  His dedication will be rewarded tonight.

Actor in a Supporting Role

Alan Arkin in Argo

Robert De Niro in Silver Linings Playbook

Philip Seymour Hoffman in The Master

Tommy Lee Jones in Lincoln

Christoph Waltz in Django Unchained

Will Win:  Robert De Niro.  It seems like it has been a long time since Robert De Niro has made a legit good movie.  In SLP, he reminds audiences and voters of the actor who made The Deer Hunter, Taxi Driver, and Raging Bull, rather than the actor from the Focker movies.

Should Win:  Tommy Lee Jones.  In a movie packed with powerhouse performances, it was Jones' that really stuck with me.  He was fiery and full of passion and was a great counterpart for Day-Lewis' quiet, subtle, more introspective performance.

Actress in a Leading Role

Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty

Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook

Emmanuelle Riva in Amour

Quvenzhané Wallis in Beasts of the Southern Wild

Naomi Watts in The Impossible

Will Win/Should Win:  Jennifer Lawrence.  The 22-year-old showed poise and grit as the lonely, slightly messed up widow in Silver Linings Playbook.  Lawrence lost her first Oscar, but I have a feeling she will pick this up.  There are two potential spoilers: Jessica Chastain and Emmanuelle Riva, who turns 86 on Oscar night.

Actress in a Supporting Role

Amy Adams in The Master

Sally Field in Lincoln

Anne Hathaway in Les Misérables

Helen Hunt in The Sessions

Jacki Weaver in Silver Linings Playbook

Will/Should Win:  Anne Hathaway.  Along with Day-Lewis, this is the closet thing to an Oscar night sure thing.  Hathaway has pretty much swept the pre-Oscar prizes, so expect her to pick this up tonight and deservedly so.  

Animated Feature Film

Brave

Frankenweenie

ParaNorman

The Pirates! Band of Misfits

Wreck-It Ralph

Will/Should Win:  Wreck-It Ralph.  Brave is a touching, powerful mother/daughter story, but I think the Oscar will go to the video game fantasy about a guy who isn't bad, he's just pixelated that way.

Directing

Amour - Michael Haneke

Beasts of the Southern Wild - Benh Zeitlin

Life of Pi - Ang Lee

Lincoln - Steven Spielberg

Silver Linings Playbook - David O. Russell

Will Win:  Ang Lee.  This is a tough category, because some of the most deserving directors like Ben Affleck and Kathryn Bigelow were snubbed.  Lee had a tough job.  He had to direct kids, water, animals, real and fake and he pulled it off.  The book was called 'unfilmable', so I think the voters will reward him for this accomplishment.

Should Win:  David O. Russell.  SLP is the best movie I saw all year.  I have seen it twice and each time I've watched it, I see new things.  The nuances and the performances that Russell coaxes out of all of his main characters are phenomenal.  I'm hoping that he pulls it out.

Music (Original Song)

"Before My Time" from Chasing Ice; music and lyric by J. Ralph

"Everybody Needs a Best Friend" from Ted; music by Walter Murphy, lyric by Seth Macfarlane

"Pi's Lullaby" from Life of Pi; music by Michael Danna, lyric by Bombay Jayashri

"Skyfall" from Skyfall; music and lyric by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth

"Suddenly" from Les Misérables; music by Claude Michel-Schoenberg, lyric by Herbert Kretzmer & Alain Boublil

Will/Should Win: Adele.  James Bond.  'Nuff said.

So, there you go.  Watch the Oscars tonight, then come back here and berate me for all the ones I got wrong, or praise me for the ones I got right.  Enjoy.

Pretty Little Liars Recap: #SpencerSnapped

Pretty Little Liars, Episode 19: "What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted"

Oh Spencer.  I feel like I'll begin these recaps that way for maybe the rest of the season.  Spencer continued her downslide this episode starting with being kicked off the academic decathlon team due to MonA's machinations and ending it by pouncing on her after she tricked Wren into driving her to where the decathlon was being held.  Spencer is still not talking to the other Liars and is bound and determined to make her downward spiral something to remember.  When, Andrew shows up at her house later on that day, Spencer attempts a strip quiz in order to win her spot back on the team.  Emily shows up before things go too far and tries to pry what Toby did out of Spencer.  Spencer isn't taking the bait though.  I will say Depressed Spencer does come up with some snappy lines.  I did enjoy her retort to Andrew when he showed up.  "I was just getting ready to put out a new doormat that said 'Go Away.'"  Spencer receives another gentleman caller, in the form of Wren, who is there because of MonA.  I really think that is what made Spencer snap.  It is then that she tricks Wren into taking her to the hotel where the decathlon is being held.  She confronts MonA who taunts her with remarks about Toby.  When, MonA points out that none of Spencer's friends are there, that is when Spencer jumps her.  I will say that the Spencer/Mona dust up was a little lame.  I was hoping for more.  Maybe some hair pulling, some scratching.  I am hopeful that we will see a better brawl before the season ends.

Hanna continued to try to force Caleb to meet with his father Uncle Jack.  Caleb tried to tell Hanna this is a bad idea, but she won't listen.  Does anyone care about this?  Seriously.  Doesn't Caleb deserve better than this lame found father storyline?  Long story short, they meet.  Uncle Jack seems decent.  Hanna convinces Ashley to convince her pastor bf to give Jack a job.  Jack steals money from the collection plate that Hanna put there.  Hanna is aghast.  The audience hopes this is all over soon.

Aria continues to get closer to the younger Fitz.  CeCe hires Aria to do a photo shoot at her clothing store.  Aria brings Wes along as her assistant.  CeCe is basically gone this entire time, getting food.  She calls Aria  and tells a lie about how her car was towed, even though she is calling Aria from inside her car.  Hmmm.  So, are we all pretty positive that CeCe is Red Coat?  I mean, I'm still hoping it is someone else, because it all seems a little too obvious, but my gut is telling me it's CeCe.  So, Aria finds out that Wes has been sleeping in the backseat of his car, so of course, she invites him to stay with her.  One thing leads to another and they are kissing!  Yes.  I am all about Wes and Aria.  I have never really been on board with Ezria.  I know I've said it before but it bears repeating.  Here's hoping that Aria moves on with the younger Fitz.

Emily is taking on the Spencer role, since Spence is spinning out of control.  She asks CeCe about Wilden and Allison, but CeCe blows her off.  Emily's next stop is to visit Jason.  She finds him outside, the bottles of whiskey the "A" team purchased decorating his porch.  Emily tells Jason about her suspicions about Wilden and he remembers a picture that may have Wilden and Allie in it together.  They head to Jason's dad's office and find the pic.  It shows Allison, Wilden, and CeCe all on Wilden's boat.  So, CeCe lied.  Shocker.  Then, there is that elevator scene.  It was so funny.  It was so melodramatic.  I loved Emily's scream as the elevator dropped with Jason still inside.  I think that is part of PLL's appeal.  On another show, something like that would be a huge turn off, but on PLL it just works.  

Jason survives his elevator plummet (of course!) and Emily calls the other girls to the hospital where she fills them in on the Wilden/Allie/CeCe picture.  They are interrupted by a nurse who tells them that Jason is gone.  The plot thickens.

The episode ends with the "A" team taping pics of the Liars on the necks of whiskey bottles.  They spin another bottle and it lands on Aria.  One turns it to point at Spencer.  Say it with me everyone, "Oh, Spencer."

So, what did you guys think?  Is CeCe definitely red coat?  Where'd Jason run off to?  Are you as over the Caleb/Dad storyline as I am?  Did you laugh at the elevator scene too?  How much farther does Spencer have to go before she hits rock bottom?  Let me know in the comments.

The Carrie Diaries Recap: Recipes for Disaster

The Carrie Diaries, Episode 6: "Endgame"

The Carrie Diaries celebrated Thanksgiving a few months late.  It was the first Thanksgiving for the Bradshaw family without mom and Carrie wanted to make it perfect.  She was determined to do Thanksgiving the same way her mom did, right down to using her old recipes.  You knew from the beginning that things would go wrong and oh did they.  Every Sex and the City fan knows that Carrie is a terrible cook, so her deciding to make dinner is doomed to fail right from the start.  Plus, George and his dad, Harlan are coming over.  Carrie spends the day removing anything from her room that could be potentially embarrassing.  Dorrit is right behind her though, putting everything back.

Ugh.  Dorrit.  I did not miss you last episode.  Dorrit does everything she can to ruin Thanksgiving.  She destroy's their mom's recipes, gives Carrie a hard time at every turn, tries to embarrass her in front of George.  George comes to the rescue though.  He and Dorrit bond while they watch the game with their dads.  He also calls her out on her ridiculous goth makeover.  I loved how he pointed out that she wasn't really being unique, since she and all her friends were doing the same thing.

With her recipes ruined, Carrie calls in Mouse for help.  That makes it even more of a disaster.  Neither of the girls want to remove the insides of the turkey.  They can't even get the turkey into the oven.  Carrie finally shoves it in, but the turkey catches on fire, the oven door falls off, and every fuse in the house is blown.  Carrie has had it.  She freaks out on her dad about using her as a replacement for their mother.  I feel like they have already had this discussion.  All's well that ends well though, they have a nice candlelit dinner.  Carrie and Dorrit make up.  Dorrit apologizes for trying to ruin everything and Carrie doesn't turn her in for smoking pot.  I mean, they are good until next week.

Sebastian shows up though.  He was supposed to have Thanksgiving with his mom, but she bailed.  So, the pretty little rich boy shows up on Carrie's doorstep rather than Donna's.  Hmm.  Carrie's dad lets  him stay, because he now trusts Carrie's decision making process.  They are setting up a nice love triangle here.  Who will Carrie choose?  Bad boy Sebastian?  Or nice guy, trust fund kid, George?

Maggie spent Thanksgiving with Walt's parents, who have definite ideas about Walt's future.  His are different, but he is too scared to say anything to them.  Maggie comes to the realization that, maybe, she is better than what she thinks she is.  She also breaks things off with skeevy cop guy.  Big moves.

So, what did you think of the newest episode?  Did you like the reference to Carrie using her oven for storage?  Let me know in the comments.

American Idol Recap: Saving The Best For Last?

American Idol, Episode 11: "Girls: Sudden Death, Pt. 1"

So, Idol is doing something they have never done before.  They are having the contestants, 10 at a time, battle it out, Hunger Games style on stage in Vegas.  The last five standing out of each round will go through to America's vote.  Nicki is Effie Trinket.  May the odds be ever in your favor, contestants!!  Just joking.  In this sudden death round, groups of 10 ladies and 10 guys will perform.  At the end of the performances, the judges will cut five of them.  The five survivors will go through to the live voting rounds.  If there is a tie, Jimmy Iovine will crawl out of his cookie making tree and cast the deciding vote.

First up is Jenny Beth Willis.  I am almost positive that I have never seen Jenny Beth before.  That already does not bode very well for her.  Jenny Beth decides to perform Trisha Yearwood's "Heaven, Heartache, and the Power of Love."  What a (God awful!) way to start the show.  Jenny Beth is clothed in a hot pink tutu, covered in black lace and black cowboy boots.  She looks like she was just allowed to dress herself for the first time.  Gadzooks.  That vocal.  I'm pretty sure she wasn't on pitch the entire time.  When she tried to go low, she lost all breath support.  She tried to save the abysmal performance with a glory note at the end, too bad it was both sharp and flat.  I loved how they kept showing Mariah smiling widely.  Mimi's awkward smile is going to be to Idol what Britney's stank faces were to The X-Factor.    The judges should have just gave her the boot right then.

Side note:  Mariah is shaping up to be this season's Paula Abdul.  Her critiques start out ok, but then they start going nowhere.  She rambles awkwardly and you half expect her to start telling stories about Morocco and Monroe and how they spit up on her new chinchilla and how she is sick of supporting Nick.  Get it together, Mimi!!

Next up is Camp Mariah veteran, Tenna Torres.  Oh Tenna.  First off, can we talk about that look?  You are only 28 years old, but everything from that wig/weave to that terrible makeup makes you look like  you are 50 years old.  A rough 50.  A Mickey Rourke 50.  Seriously, for a minute there, I thought that X-Factor season one contestant, Stacy Francis, had knocked you out backstage and went on in your  place.  That being said, I liked your performance.  I loved the song choice.  "Soulmate" by Natasha Bedingfield is a killer song and I liked how you turned it into an R&B slow jam.  Tenna needs to be careful because sometime she puts on this affected tone  that sort of makes her sound like she sucked in helium.  The judges loved it, as they should.  Nicki told an odd anecdote about how her fans didn't like Tenna, but I agreed that Tenna is serving 80's R&B singer realness.  She also called her out on the hair.  We are so in sync!

Adriana Latonio covered Aretha Franklin's "Ain't No Way."  It is a big song and at times it got away from 17-year-old Adriana.  I liked the emotion in her voice.  I was a fan of how she inched closer to the judges, little by little.  Mariah was singing background.  I loved Adriana's rich and velvety tone.  The glory note at the end was not as good as she thought it was, but her performance did earn her a standing "O" from Randy and Keith.  Nicki was right, when she said that Adriana conquered the stage.  There were no nerves and that really helped her performance.

Brandy Hotard looks a lot like Emily's mom on Pretty Little Liars, no?  That was the first thing I thought when they were showing her intro package.  She sang "Anymore" by Travis Tritt.  It is a sad song.  Brandy is singing lyrics like "My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone" and she is grinning from ear to ear the whole time?  WTF?!  I seriously couldn't even focus on the song.  There was such a disconnect from the lyrics to the emotions that Brandy was projecting.  I literally watched it back three times and I couldn't tell you how the vocal was.  I could only focus on her pageant-y face.  Keith and Nicky and I must share a brain because their comments were all about her faces.  It was hilarious.  She tried to give a lame explanation about how she was strong and she was trying to project that and blah, blah, blah.  Whatever.

Shubha Vedula took the stage next.  She sang Lady GaGa's "Born This Way."  She started out at the piano, doing a kind of slowed down version of the song.  I was feeling it.  Midway through she got up and the pace picked up.  The vocal was still good, but the whole performance seemed kind of manic.  I would have enjoyed it more if she had just stayed at the piano the whole time.  Shockingly, Randy and I were in agreement.  The judges as a whole were kind of lukewarm about Shubha.  

Oh, Kamaria Ousley.  The judges were absolutely right.  That white leather jacket, magenta sequined bustier and black strappy heels ensemble was definitely working for you.  Unfortunately, that was the only thing that was.  I'm not sure why you would choose to sing "Mr. Know-It-All" by Kelly Clarkson, but it was the absolute wrong song choice.  It was especially odd after seeing that you had sung backgrounds for Diddy Dirty Money and Ledisi.  Why wouldn't you choose a nice R&B track that would have served you better.  It was off pitch the entire time, screechy.  I'm surprised Kelly Clarkson didn't write you a sharply worded WhoSay blog post after the way you slaughtered one of her songs.

Let's get this out of the way, first.  Kree Harrison has a beautiful voice.  Her rendition of Patty Griffin's "Up to the Mountain" gave me legit chills.  She is relatable and seems super nice.  All that being said, girlfriend needs some help in the wardrobe and stage presence department.  That peach button up maternity shirt she was wearing?  Yikes.  You'd think she was singing in her living room on laundry day, rather than on a Vegas stage.  Then her stage presence.  The whole thing was just so awkward to watch.  Her arms flailing around as she shuffled around the stage, looking like an elderly woman who has misplaced her reading glasses.  I completely agreed with all the glowing praise that the judges showered her with, but if the rest doesn't improve, I'll be forced to listen to Kree sing with my eyes closed.

I felt a little bad for Angela Miller.  Her vocal was no doubt one of the strongest of the night, but all the judges could talk about was her mind blowingly amazing performance of her original song on the final night of solos in Hollywood.  Jessie J is getting a lot of play so far this season on Idol and I'm not mad about it.  I love the song "Nobody's Perfect" and I thought Amanda killed it.  Was it on par with her original song?  Definitely not.  It was still amazing.  I just hope that Amanda didn't peak too soon.  That is the downside to performing such a great original song.  The judges will always remember it and they will always compare whatever you do to it.  I hope that this doesn't lead to Amanda's premature Idol exit.

Isabelle is only using her first name.  OK, Isabelle.  She sang Billie Holliday's "God Bless the Child."  I wasn't a huge fan of this performance.  There was nothing particularly wrong with Isabelle's voice.  She did sound really shaky when she was going for the high notes and veered off pitch.  The arrangement was a little sleepy and I would have liked it if Isabelle would have picked a song by a more contemporary artist.  

Amber Holcomb closed out the performance portion of the show.  She sang "My Funny Valentine."  Full disclosure: Melinda Doolittle's performance of this song during season 5 is one of my all time favorite Idol performances.  That being said, Amber acquitted herself well.  I liked the late '80's/early '90's arrangement of the song.  Her phrasing was great.  She looked gorgeous.  Amber really surprised me.  She was another contestant I don't remember seeing much of during the audition/Hollywood rounds.  If she keeps up these performances, that won't matter.  She did sort of overdo it with the vocal runs at the end, but otherwise a great way to end the show.

It was time for the judges to lower the guillotine.  Angela Miller, Amber Holcomb, Adriana Latonio, Kree Harrison, and Tenna Torres went straight to the live rounds.  Shubha Vedula was for sure robbed, but  hopefully she will be able to come back next year.

Ok, that is it for the first group of ladies.  Tonight it is the boys.  What did you guys think?  Was Shubha robbed?  Anyone you would have sent through that didn't make it?  Hit me up in the comments.

American Idol Recap: Girls On Fire

American Idol, Episode 10: Girls in Hollywood, Pt. 2

So, I guess I should start this recap off by apologizing.  I sort of gave away that Kez Ban doesn't make it through Hollywood week.  I didn't even give a spoiler alert.  Sorry 'bout it, y'all.  So, now that that is out of the way, time for the final night of the ladies in Hollywood.  It was a great episode, jam packed with phenomenal performances and one lady who hit me out of nowhere and catapulted herself up the ranks, proving that she is the one to meet.

Angela Miller starts off the show and sings an original song called "You Set Me Free."  Sitting at the piano, Angela is confident, her voice is pure and full of power and the song is fantastic.  Seriously.  This song needs to be on iTunes immediately so I can download it and listen to it on repeat.  Damn.  Angela took a huge risk and it paid off in spades.  In case you didn't get it, the one to beat that I mentioned earlier, it's totally Angela.

Candice Glover and Janelle Arthur are up next.  Candice is up first and she destroys "Girl On Fire."  Every time she performs I get chills.  Her voice is out of control.  If she doesn't make it to the top two this year, something is wrong with America.  

Janelle followed that with a pretty by the numbers rendition of "I Told You So."  I like Janelle's voice and she has a great personality.  I just feel like she is playing it a little safe.  I hope she takes risks, because I think she has it in her and if she does she could be a huge threat.

All three ladies sail through, to no ones surprise.

Zoanette Johnson is next and she is going to play the drums.  She had a song ready to go, but then she decides to change and she basically made up a song on the spot.  Seriously.  Why is this happening?  Her performance is manic and ridiculous.  It is off pitch and ridiculous.  In a terrible way.  I'm not sure what is happening.  I can say, that Zoanette has potential and some raw talent.  She just needs to take her medication and maybe take some vocal lessons to refine her instrument and maybe come back.  Right now, it just seems like a big joke that is on the audience.  Of course, Zoanette went through too.

Next up is Shubha Vedula.  She sings "When You Believe."  Mariah is singing along.  I was a fan.  Shubha is insanely talented and like Keith said, she is a brave girl.  That is a tough song to sing and Shubha brought it.

So did Juliana Chahayed with a beautiful, lilting version of "Landslide."  I was right there with Nicki.  That is one of my favorite songs, too.  Gorgeous.

Then Kez Ban.  My dear, sweet, Kez Ban.  She sings an original song.  I like it.  The judges have obviously been told by Uncle Nigel that their love affair with Kez is over, so they send her on her way, right then and there.  They suck.  Seriously.  Zoanette over Kez Ban.  Whatever.  

Ashley Feliciano is next.  She sings "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri.  I have been a fan of Ashley since her first audition, but this was the wrong song for her.  Most definitely.  This is also the introduction to a bunch of sad sack performances.

The mood is lightened by Melinda Ademi who does a high energy "Price Tag" by Jessie J.  It's hard for me not enjoy this song no matter who is singing it.  I was definitely doing some couch dancing right along with Nicki and Keith.  I wasn't mad at Melinda.  

Kree Harrison is next.  She sings "Stars" by Grace Potter & The Nocturnals.  She has a great voice.  If you close your eyes and listen to her sing, it takes you away.  Then you look at her and it makes you uncomfortable.  She has no star quality at all.  Zero stage presence.  Her voice is on point though.

Kree and Melinda go through, but unfortunately it's the end of the line for Ashley.  I hope that Ashley comes back next year.  Brianna Oakley, the girl who was bullied, also gets the boot and a super emotional Sarina Joi Crowe.

There are 24 girls left after the cut that need to be whittled down to 20.  Randy cuts 3 girls right away, but there is still one more girl who needs to be cut.  It's time for a good, old fashioned sing off.  Stephanie Schimel is the first.  She decides to sing "Home" with the band.  I'm not a huge Stephanie fan, but it is good.  Next up is Rachel Hale.  You remember Rachel?  She is Janelle Arthur's arch enemy since they are both female country singers.  She sings "Undone" by Haley Reinhart and I am feeling it.  I love the song and Rachel kills it.  Stephanie is sent on her merry way.

The boys have to go through the same process.  The judges pull out Adam Sanders first.  Adam sings a screechy, off-key version of Celine Dion's "Taking Chances."  Josh Holiday is next.  He sings "Georgia On My Mind."  The whole thing comes off as very lounge singer to me.  I am not feeling it.  I did a good chuckle when he split his pants, though.  Eight guys get cut including Adam Sanders and David Leathers, Jr.  I was sad to see David go last year, and was sad to see him go this year.

So, we have our top 40!  Things really get going next week in Vegas.  Here we go.

American Idol Recap: Let's Hear It For The Girls!

American Idol, Episode 9: Girls in Hollywood, Pt.1

I think I need to start this delayed recap of last week's episode by lamenting the gone, but never forgotten, Kez Ban.  Oh Kez.  We hardly knew  ye.  You were a font of entertainment though.  Screaming at the top of your lungs for every girl who performed until your voice sounded like a mountain attempting to sing.  Somehow, you made it through to group rounds, only to completely alienate your group.  Miraculously, you survived group round, only to get unceremoniously dumped by a cartoon character in a day glo wig.  (I still love you, Nicki.  I'm just bitter right now.)  Honestly, I knew there was no way that Kez Ban would survive all the way to the live voting rounds, but even a certified Idol-oonie like myself has to hold out hope.  So, Kez, keep on truckin'.  I hope that someday the camera will pan away from one of the Dawg's god awful Japanime buttons and there you'll be.  Holding a boom.

Ah, while the loss of Kez Ban was sad and the continuing on of Zoanette's Idol journey baffling, all in all, the girls pissed all over the stage last week, as well as pissing all over the boys.  So, how did it all go down?  Let's get this recap started:

So, just like last week, the girls filed in while Ryan's ominous voiceover played.  First round: The ladies sing a cappella, 8 at a time, then comes the cruelest cut.  The first of many.  Quick question: Did anyone use the #linesof10?  Anyone?  Didn't think so.  Seriously, television shows.  Stop trying to make hashtags happen.  

In the first line, Angela Miller, Victoria "Mariachi" Acosta, and the other Mariah.  The one with the eating disorder.  Well, the diagnosed eating disorder.  The Other Mariah (Pulice) is up first.  She sings an over wrought, melody free version of Sara Bareilles' "Gravity."  You can tell by the judges looks that this is not going well.

Next up, the big surprise, for me, for you, from the girls: Angela Miller.  She sings a powerful, amazing, gorgeous, I'm running out of adjectives, version of Jessie J's "Who You Are."  It is amazing. Keith sums it up the best.  "Unexpected."

Victoria "Mariachi" Acosta takes the mike next.  She sings "Killing Me Softly."  I'm not sure if you guys caught her audition, if you did, it went about as well as that.  'Nuff said.

Angela and Victoria move forward,  unfortunately it's the end of the line for The Other Mariah.  I am super worried about her.  I hope she doesn't relapse.  Besides TOM, we also lost Super Bass girl, Ann Difani, and Ashley Smith, who I was in love with.  Damn you, judges.

Next Idol positioned the two female country singers against each other, because you know that there can't be two talented female country singers.  First up was Ashley Hale.  Janelle Arthur was next.  For me, for you, Janelle was the winner.  Her mournful, on pitch rendition of "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" knocked me out.  Ashley may be more relatable, according to Nicki, but Janelle has the voice and the star power.  Ashley and Janelle both make it through.  Come on, you know that the Idol producers can't let the possibility of more manufactured drama go this soon.  

The ladies are slaughtering it.  American Idol is also slaughtering the concept of feminism as they show upcoming scenes from the groups.  It is so frustrating.  I wish they spent as much time showing scenes of the girls rooting each other on in the audience as they did showing them squabbling during group rounds.

Le sigh.

Anyhoo, Candice Glover is next.  They remind you that she got a standing "O" at her audition and that Nicki wanted to skin her and wear her.  Based on her jaw dropping rendition of "Impossible" by Xtina, the sentiments are the same.

Megan "Crutch Props" Miller is next.  She sings "Titanium" by Sia and it is.... not the best.  Neither is her giant pink bow and oversized shirt combo.  Not cute, Megan.  I thought you were a beauty queen.

Candice sails through, to the shock of no one.  Megan heads home.  She is probably bedazzling her crutches as we speak so she can use them in the talent portion of her next big pageant.

Isabelle, one name, like Cher, sange "Summertime."  It was OK.  I didn't love it as much as the judges did, but for me, for you, that will always be Fantasia's song.  It doesn't matter though, because the judges put her through.

Briana Oakley sings "Impossible" by Xtina, but after Candice owned the song previously, it's hard to get too excited for her rendition, which is just too sweet for me.

So, the ladeez get the bomb dropped on them that the producers are choosing their groups, which they already knew, because the boys are little gossips.  So, of course, there is lots of dumb drama.  Proclamations that there is no drama, when of course, there was.  Crying.  Going to bed early.  Kez's group abandoning her because, why wouldn't you?  Zoanette has a meltdown, because she thinks that "Knock On Wood" is a country song.  Whatever.  No one cares.  If you have seen one group episode, you have seen them all.

First up, The Swagette's consisting of Candice Glover, Kamaria Ousley, Melinda Ademi, and Denise Jackson, busted out an Idol classic, "Oops... (Hit 'Em Style)".  Honestly, lyrics wise it was a hot mess, but the ladies definitely brought swag and they were on pitch and they had harmonies, so it was a win.  No surprise when all four ladies are sent right through.

Morgan Leigh Boberg, Lauren Mink, and Brandy Hotard performed "Sin Wagon" complete with train? choreography.  I didn't get it.  They all made it though though, so what do I know?  Nothing, obvi.

The next group is struggling, with lots of things. Working together, choreography, an addiction to leopard print.  Savannah Votion, Lizz Weiss, Daysia Hall, and J'Leigh Chauvin were just terrible all around.  I mean, one of them went on stage in pantyhose riddled with holes.  What is happening here?  The only person who made it through was Daysia.

The next group looks like a recipe for disaster.  One of them, Janelle, is having a nervous breakdown.  It makes for good tv.  Kriss Mincey, Janel Stinney, Cristabel Clack, and another one sort of sang the song.  The only one that actually sang was Cristabel, but Nicki gave it a standing ovation, because they felt it?  Keith and Mariah were not impressed.  Somehow, all four ladies make it through.  Keith makes it pretty clear that Nicki brow beat them into it.

In the next quick montage, we see that Shubha Vedula, Sarina Joi Crowe, and Aubrey Cleland were able to escape the sinking ships their groups were. 

Based on the members of the next group, you expect to be blown away.  Seretha Guinn, Tenna Torres, Kiara Lanier, and Jett Hermano's cover of Estelle's "American Boy" leaves a lot to be desired.  You can tell by the looks on the judges faces that they are as confused by it as the rest of us.  Seretha was sent packing.  The other three were sent through.  It sucks, because I had high hopes for Seretha.

Zoanette's group is up next and apparently today she is high.  The cameras show her shaking it in the audience.  Her group, which also contains, Erin Christine, Lauren Bettes, and Isabelle, tear through "Knock On Wood."  It is very entertaining and Zoanette manages to be on key 2/3 of the time, so I guess that is a win.  Lauren gets the boot and the rest go through.

The next group, shockingly, didn't get along.  Can you believe it?!  They are talking mad shit about music teacher Liz, who has borrowed one of Adam Levine's chunky sweaters and is only wearing it partly.  Shira Gavrielov, Alisha Dixon, Liz (who's last name is Bills), and Courtney Calle perform a soul crushing version of "Somebody That I Used To Know."  It also seems the only lyric they know from the song is the title.  So there's that.  Barefoot Liz who everybody hates is the only one that makes it through.  Hahahahahahahahaha.

The next group made the brilliant decision to change their song that morning.  They started out with the song "Total Eclipse of the Heart."  They obviously weren't gelling together.  Making excuses.  So two hours before the audition they changed it to, what else? "Somebody That I Used To Know."  They swear up and down that this song is waaaayyy better, but they have the lyrics written. on. their. HANDS!  Stephanie Schimel, Alex Delaney, Kalli Therinae, and Holly Miller were a joke.  The judges knew it.  I loved Nicki openly mocking their palm reading.  Stephanie and Holly, somehow, make it through.

Apparently, the thing to do this year, was write the lyrics on your body.  Palms, back of hands, arms, all covered in writing.  You'd have thought all the ladies were miniature Jewels.  Haley Davis, Kree Harrison, Britnee Kellogg, and Brandy Neely hated each other and life, basically.  One person maybe knew the words.  Nicki tore into Brandy for going to bed and leaving the other ladies in the lurch.  Everyone except Brandy Neely went through to the  next round.

My beloved Kez Ban and the rest of her group closed out the group rounds.  Kez, Breanna Steer, Angela Miller, and Janelle Arthur actually did a good job on The Beach Boys' "Be My Baby."  They all made it.  So now, the torture of group rounds is over.  Next, individual performances with the band.

Girls Recap: A Dog's Life

Girls, Episode 6: "Boys"

As the episode title suggests, Girls explored the boys a little on Sunday's episode.  Ray is still feeling pretty defeated, but he is hiding it as best he can behind his acerbic facade.  It turns out he had loaned Hannah his copy of "Little Women" and he wants it back.  Turns out Ray's aunt writes notes in the back of the books she gives him, so he knows how they relate to his life or which character he is most like.  This leads to a hilarious discussion about which character Ray would most be like.  Shoshanna suggests Marmee, but of course Hannah claims that he would be the deadbeat dad who ends up dying.  It turns out, Hannah left the book at Adam's, so Ray decides to take a trip down the rabbit hole to see if he can get it back.  

Ray gets to Adam where he is working on ... something.  He is working on some sort of construction project.  He lets Ray know the book is in the bathroom.  When Ray opens it up, he finds a dog that Adam stole because he thought that the owner was being cruel to him.  After an impassioned speech from Ray, the boys decide to take the dog back to it's owner on Staten Island.  They seem to be bonding a little bit on the ferry, but that all falls apart when Ray insults Hannah.  Adam flips out, proving that despite all that has gone down he is still in love with Hannah.  He even accuses Ray of having a thing for Hannah.  That is funny because I have thought the same thing.  It would explain why Ray is so hostile to her.  Adam bails on Ray, leaving Ray to go return the dog alone. 

Ray finds it's home, but has a hilarious, racist, homophobic conversation with his daughter.  Ray leaves, still with the dog and ends up looking out at the ferry.  Ray breaks down and it is a fantastic scene.  Alex Karpovsky really shines.   I was not a huge fan of Ray's last season.  He came off as kind of a misogynistic douche bag.  Putting him with Shoshanna really helped to soften him up and and this early '30's crisis he is going through is making him a lot more relatable, especially to me.

In other news, Hannah and Marnie's friendship is still deteriorating because neither one of them will take the first steps to reconcile.  Things start out well for Hannah, she meets with an editor played by Hedwig himself, John Cameron Mitchell.  He assigns Hannah to write an e-book.  Yay!  Bad news he needs it in a month.  Meanwhile, Marnie is still "dating" Booth Jonathan.  He is still a scumbag.  His assistant, Suchin, walks in on he and Marnie naked and they have a conversation, which is completely normal.  Then, she quits because she took a bite of his ice cream.  Since he is now assistantless, Booth asks Marnie to hosts his party.  Marnie, of course, believes that this is due to the fact that they are dating, but really it's because she works as a hostess.  Marnie freaks out in Booth's wine cellar and leaves.  Hopefully, that is the last we see of that guy.  Marnie calls Hannah, but the two former BFF's are more concerned with keeping up appearances, rather than actually being  honest with each other.  It was definitely a sad scene to watch, especially if you have ever gone through that with a friend before.

So, will Hannah and Marnie get back together before the season finale?  When will Adam and Hannah have sex again?  Did you warm up to Ray and were you surprised that he was 33?  Hit me up in the comments.

The Carrie Diaries Recap: Part of Your World

The Carrie Diaries, Episode 5: "Dangerous Territory"

Last Monday night's episode of The Carrie Diaries, featured our plucky, big-haired, future sex columnist tackling two challenges.  One pretty pedestrian and teenage and the other not so much.  In Connecticut, Carrie was trying to conquer her driving test, while in Manhattan, she was invited to her first high society soiree by George Silver, a boy she met when she was 4, who rubbed poison ivy on her.  George also has a mother named Kick.  She joins the pantheon of WASP-y mothers who refuse to let their children call them mother ala Bizzy from Private Practice.  George is also the son of Carrie's dad's horndog friend, Harlan.  George and Carrie have a meet cute at her job, where we also learn he is chummy with Bitch Boss.  He invites Carrie to Kick's party, but Carrie declines because she is still hung up on Sebastian.

Carrie's first driver's test attempt doesn't go very well.  She spies Sebastian and Donna LaDonna tongue wrestling and almost runs them down.  While her dad talks it out with the instructor, Carrie and Sebastian have the awkward convo that all exes are destined to have.  The "so  you're dating someone... already" talk.  Carrie is obvs devastated, but she plays it down, telling Sebastian that she is seeing someone, also.  When she gets home, she calls George and tells him it is on.

Carrie meets up with Bitch Boss when she is trying on dresses for Kick's party, which she learns is actually a soiree.  BB gives Carrie a few more pointers.  She also lets her steely guard down and lets Carrie know that she surprised her.  Damn.  Maybe I'm going to have start calling BB by her actual name, which is Barbara.  

George picks Carrie up and casually lets her know that it is black tie not cocktail.  After some quick thinking, Carrie makes her grand entrance in her famous tutu.  It was an awesome moment for fans of SATC and it's part of the reason the show can be such a treat.  The party goes as you would expect.  Kick is not excited about George dating a commoner and Blythe, George's fresh from Betty Ford ex-girlfriend, is a straight up bee-yotch.  Carrie flees, but is caught by George.  They have a talk and George lets Carrie know that he likes who she is and the world she comes from.  Back at the party, Kick recognizes Carrie and shares that she was good friend's with her mom.  We also got a little more Carrie lore as we learned the source of Carrie's famous flower pins.  It seems Mrs. Bradshaw always wore a flower.  So, with Kick's blessing and a brand new beau, Carrie was able to pass her driver's test, leave Sebastian in the rearview and start fresh with George.

In Carrie's friends news, Maggie and Donna LaDonna engaged in a turf war, when the Lady LaDonna and her minions tried to move in on the diner where Carrie and her crew hung.  Mouse was nervous about doing the deed with her college boyfriend, so she sought out advice from Walt, who let her in on a secret.  He had been studying a sex video and that is how he became so good at sex.  Also, Mr. Bradshaw has a mild freak out when he loses his wedding ring.  He also accidentally hits an attractive single lady with his car, proving that attempted vehicular manslaughter must be in the Bradshaw genes. He does score her digits though, so bonus.

A fantastic episode.  The show just seems to be getting better and better, I think.  It's finding it's footing more and more each week.  What do you guys think?  Hit up the comments and let me know.

RuPaul's Drag Race Recap: Nontroversy

RuPaul's Drag Race, Episode 3: "Draggle Rock"

The "feud" between former pageant queens, Coco Montrese and Alyssa Edwards, finally came to a head on Monday night's episode of RuPaul's Drag Race.  As expected, the feud was pretty pathetic.  So, initially, Alyssa was Miss Gay America.  For some reason or another, Alyssa wasn't able to fulfill her duties so Coco took over.  No one ever elaborated on what duties Alyssa wasn't fulfilling.  She seemed to be upset that Coco, who was her first alternate, took over for her and that Coco was trash talking her on Facebook.  Ugh.  Seriously?  Who cares?  How old are these people?  So dumb.  It seemed to be taking a big toll on Coco though.  She could not focus and you knew from the start of the episode that she was in big trouble.

The mini challenge had the queens taking mini mannequins and turning them into pageant queens.  Of course, Coco and Alyssa thought they had this in the bag, but they were two of the worst.  The winner of the mini challenge, was the team of Lineysha Sparx and Alaska who presented their pageant queen, Lil' Pound Cake.  I was howling along with Ru as Alaska shared Lil' Pound Cake's catch phrase of, "You aren't my real dad and you never will be."  I was wiping away tears after I learned that "Lil' Pound Cake enjoys riding dirty and being a motherfucking dick pig."  

So, it's another team challenge, with Lineysha and Alaska as team leaders.  The main challenge was to create a children's television show that was educational and subversive.  This was a rough challenge.  It was a great idea, but once the teams were divided something became glaringly obvious.  A lot of these queens are resting on pretty and it is not going to win them the competition.  

Team Alaska consisted of Roxxxy, Detox, Alyssa, Vivienne, and Monica.  They produced a farm show called "Barnyard Buddies."  Detox and Roxxxy were the standouts.  Detox as Clucky the Cock who was trying to shove things in her different sized boxes and Roxxxy as Tasha Salad, a walking salad with a speech impediment who was teaching kids all about salad tossing.  The weak links were Vivian Pinay, whose Anita Bump barely registered, and Monica Beverly Hillz, who couldn't remember  her lines even though they were right in front of her.

Then, there was Team Lineysha.  I can't even remember what the name of their show was it was so awful.  The only reason their team was a little bit watchable was because of Jinkx Monsoon.  Ivy Winters and Lineysha tried to suggestively make a banana split, but it failed, especially with Lineysha repeating everything in Spanish.  Jade Jolie didn't make much of an impression with her bubbles and the less said about Coco and Honey Mahogany's disastrous dummy act the better.

On the main stage, Detox, Roxxxy, and Jinkx were in the top with Detox taking the win.  Alaska was read for not being in drag for the challenge.  Coco and Monica ended up in the bottom.  Monica ended up sashaying away.

So, what did you guys think?  Do these queens think being fishy is all that it takes?  Sound off in the comments.

American Idol Recap: Let's Hear It for the Boys

American Idol, Episode 8: The Boys in Hollywood Pt. 2

So, the first part of the boys in Hollywood was pretty underwhelming.  None of the guys really rose to the occasion and the awful, awkward group performances was where the focus was.  Day two was a nice change of pace.  Some of the boys really redeemed themselves, while others crashed and burned.  All the while, Nicki Minaj was there to keep them in check, with some much needed doses of reality.

For the second part of Hollywood week, each contestant chose a song from a list.  They will also be performing with the Idol band. They can also play an instrument if they choose.  At the end of the round, half of the remaining 43 contestants will be sent home.  

The first contestant of the day is Paul Jolley.  Jolley is a visible mess.  He's a wreck.  He heads out onstage and kind of melts down.  He pulls it together to deliver a spot on, big voiced rendition of Carrie Underwood's "Blown Away."  Nicki was spot on, when she told Paul that whatever is going on, he just needs to let it go and perform.  It is professionalism.

Lazaro "the Stutterer" Arbos was next.  He sang a competent rendition of "Edge of Glory."  It was just OK for me and I'm pretty sure that if he didn't have a story, then he'd be gone already.

Curtis Finch, Jr. was next.  He sang "Jar of Hearts" and as per usual, it was amazing, but it's hard for me to forget his all around douchebaggery during group round.  Subjectively, it was pretty stellar and Curtis probably is the strongest male voice in the competition.

Lazaro, Curtis, and Jolley all make it through to the next round.

Devin Velez is up next and he is not nervous.  He sang a run heavy rendition of "What a Wonderful World."  Too many runs.  Seriously, every single word was like five hundred syllables.  It was too much.  He has a good voice, he doesn't need all that mess.

Gurpreet Singh Sarin aka The Turbanator did a decent "Georgia On My Mind."  Cortez Shaw continued his redemption tour after butchering "I Will Always Love You" and getting a dressing down by Nicki.  

Matheus "I'm Short" Fernandes was up next and he continued his "Feel bad for me because I'm short" schtick.  He sang a terrible version of "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson.  It was such an odd song choice and the sleepy, slow arrangement was no good.  I cringed when he dropped down to his knees.  The whole thing was so freaking manic.  It was just terrible.  Nicki read Matheus, finally, for continuing to rely on his shortness.  Good for her.  That stuff needs to be addressed.  She's right.  Let that go, and be great.  

Devin, Gurpreet, Adam, and Cortez all sailed through.  Matheus was sent back to Munchkin Land.

Nicholas Mathis was next.  He sang "Locked Out of Heaven."  He was under the pitch and behind the beat the whole time.  You could tell that he knew it and was trying to make up for it, but he just couldn't get back on track.  You could tell that the judges were rooting for him, but in the end it wasn't meant to be for Big Nick.

Then, there was Pappa Peachez.  I loved the look on Nicki's face when she heard the opening strains of Lady GaGa's "You & I."  She was over it.  It seems that Nicki is no longer a big fan of PP.  Finally.

Jimmy Smith really surprised me.  I really enjoyed his take on "Landslide."  He has a really beautiful tone and I could see him going pretty far in the competition.

Big Nick and Pappa Peachez, unsurprisingly, were sent away.  PP back to the swamps of Louisiana, where he can sing his own, melody free ditties, and Big Nick back to the nearest all you can eat buffet.

Nick Boddington played the piano on his stellar rendition of Grace Potter & the Nocturnals "Stars."  I was a big fan of Nick's when he was on Idol last year and I was bummed when he got cut during Vegas week last week.  I was happy to see him doing so well, because he deserves it.

Socially awkward Charlie Askew was up next.  He is quirky and I was a big fan of his audition, but his performance of Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know."  I think it was the wrong song for his voice.  Not everyone can sing that song.  It's not good when your intro is better than the actual song.

Charlie and Nick both made it through along with JDA and Matheney.

Burnell Taylor sang "Jar of Harts".  So Did Marvin Claderon.  It apparently was a popular song.  It must be a lucky song, because they both made it through.

Micah Johnson, the guy with the speech impediment, performed next.  He sang "I Told You So" by Randy Travis.  I liked it.  I thought it sounded just as good as some of the people they had already put through.  Apparently the judges didn't agree, because they SENT. HIM. HOME!  Are you kidding me?  You are keeping the stutterer around but not this guy.  Seriously.  Pretty ridonk.  I was also pretty angry that Gabe Brown, from Iowa, and Nate Tao, with the deaf parents, got the boot.  Super frustrating.

At the end of the ep, the judges bring the remaining boys onstage.  The Dawg lets them know that it's not over yet.  Next week, 8 of the final 20 guys will be sent packing.

So what did you guys think?  Do you agree that the boys finally brought it?  Are you excited for the girls next week?  Let me know in the comments.

American Idol Recap: Hooray for Hollywood?

American Idol, Episodes 7: "The Boys in Hollywood Part 1"

Ah, Hollywood week.  The one time when American Idol seems like you're run of the mill reality show, with cat fights, ridiculous antics, and diva behavior.  And that is just from the judges y'all!!  This season, the producers have decided to switch things up a bit by dividing the contestants up by gender.  First up: the boys.  I have to say the first ep was probably the lamest two hours in Idol history.  I had to watch it twice, just because it was hard for me to focus.  Thursday night's episode picked up though.  Nicki Minaj continued to show that she is actually becoming the best judge on the panel.  She is serving brutal honesty which is what these contestants need and what the show has been lacking in the past couple of years.

The first part of Hollywood week is the contestants singing individually a cappella.  Then, the judges deliberate and either send them through our cut them.  This was kind of ho hum.  There weren't a lot of stand outs from the people that we had never seen before.  Some obvious canon fodder was sent home quickly, including Karl Skinner from OK, the singing doctor, and the firefighter.  Nicki also verbally assaulted Cortez Shaw, who sang Whitney Houston's rendition of "I Will Always Love You."  Nicki was disgusted and thought that he did a poor job.  Randy pointed out that he wasn't Whitney.  He got sent through anyways.  I loved Cortez's reaction afterwards.  "That audition was good, but I need to do better."  Oh, Cortez.  That self-delusion will serve you will in this biz.

Now it was time for the trademarked Dreaded Group Round.  Some of the contestants who had already made it through had already formed groups.  Wrong, suckas.  Uncle Nigel came out to let them know that this year, the groups had been chosen for them.  I kind of loved this twist.  1. Because it upped the drama factor, and 2. because we didn't have to deal with 15 minutes of one or two contestants wandering around trying to find a group.

The first group to have issues was the group that contained Lazaro the Stutterer.  The language barrier was an issue and he didn't know any song that they had to choose from because he was born in and Cuban and apparently had never listened to the radio before.

Then there was Trevor Blakney and Lee Pritchard, down home, good ole' country boys, were paired with the resident male divas, according to Ryan and he knows about male divas, Joel Wayman and JDA.  Joel and Jade want to do "Moves Like Jagger' and urge the country boys to get out of their comfort zone, but refuse to do the same thing that they are asking.

Then, there is the group that contains Curtis Finch, Jr., Charlie Askew, and Nick Mathis.  It starts ok.  Curtis is very welcoming, but that didn't last.  He shoots down Charlie's idea of Neon Trees without even considering it.  

Of course, Pappa Peachez' group is having trouble.  I mean, why wouldn't it.  It contains Pappa Peachez.

Trevor, Lee, Joel, and Jade, now called Country Queen, is self-destructing.  Trevor thinks they only care about the choreography, because he doesn't know the words.  He doesn't seem to be trying to learn the words, he just wants to bitch because they didn't pick the song he wants.  then, he threatens violence, while crumpling up his lyric sheet.  Mature.  Apparently, they are singing "More than Words."

The first group who performed contained Matheus Fernandes, who kept talking about how short he was.  Whatever, dude.  Just can it with that already.  It's off putting.  His group, who also contained Nick Boddington, Mathenee Treco, and Iowa boy Gabe Brown, performed "Somebody to Love" and it was good.  A nice start to the day, and all four guys sailed through.  You knew this wouldn't last though.

Normal Hills was next.  Seriously, that group name sounds like the name of a BET reality show that focuses on a wealthy neighborhood.  This group contains Idol also ran, Johnny Keyser, who was confident about his group's song choice of "Reach Out (I'll Be There)", but today is a different story.  I think the kid maybe gets 3 whole words correct.  Kareem Clark is wildly off key and also doesn't know the words.  Nicki half-heartedly defends them never having heard the song before.  Kareem gets the boot, but Johnny and the other two barely scrape by.

Now it was time for Charlie, Curtis, and Nick.  Curtis is basically a terrible person.  I wonder if he realizes that he is on camera all the time.  When Charlie falls ill, Curtis turns on him immediately.  In the confessional, Curtis stays stone faced while Charlie and Nick talk about their sense of camaraderie.  This guy sucks.  He has a good voice, but I just want him to go home now.  The boys do a great job performing Bruno Mars' "The Lazy Song", and each judge throws a Gospel hand at some point of the performance.  No deliberation, the judges send all three guys straight through.

The next two groups are both sent right through.  They contain audition standouts, Micah Johnson, Nate Tao and Cortez Shaw.  

It was past time for some horrible groups and mangled lyrics.  When I watch these guys completely crash and burn, I wonder, did you just practice for an hour and then go to bed?  What is going on?  Like Keith pointed out, some of them weren't even able to sing the melody.

B-Sides was the next group.  They knew no words, but they tried to make up for it with showmanship and they did make me laugh.  I'm pretty sure that I was laughing at them though.  That's good, right?  This was Nicki's favorite group!  Somehow, they all made it through.  What is happening?  What did Nicki have to promise the other judges.  Did she tell Mariah that she would guest on her next three singles?  Did she promise to donate some of her personality to Nicole Kidman?  Did she offer to help Randy design custom jewelry?  Who knows.  Nicki tried to explain it, but it was still senseless.

Next was Last Minute.  It was another hot mess.  No one knew the song.  It was just awful.  The worst thing is they dedicated it Mariah and Nicki.  Wow.  If I was a judge, I would have just left.  The judges had their revenge.  They them all home.

The next group decided to do their song a cappella.  Devan Jones, Devin Velez and two more guys sang "Payphone."  The judges were flabbergasted at their choice to leave the band out.  Seemed like a bad decision.  Three out of the four made it through, including Devan and Devin.  It has to suck when everyone in your group, but you makes it through. 

Tony Foster, Jr., Mario Jose, Burnell Taylor, and Darien Moses were up next singing "Some Kind of Wonderful."  You thought it might be a mess, but it was actually pretty good.  Tony and Burnell went through, the other two got the big boot.

Next up, is Lazaro the Stutterer's group.  They are singing a Beach Boys song that Lazaro still doesn't know.  He'd never even heard of the Beach Boys.  Come on.  I get that he has a story and an OK voice, but seriously.  How can you be on Idol if you haven't heard any of the songs you'd have to sing. Josh Stephens, Scott Fleenor, and Christian Lopez were Lazaro's fellow group mates.  It was a hot mess.  No one knew the words and they were down a half step.  There was no blending, as Mariah pointed out.  Josh and Scott got the boot and Josh was a bitter Betty.  He blamed Lazaro and sort of congratulated Lazaro, in a backhanded way.

It was time for Country Queen.  Their lack of hard work certainly paid off.  It was super awkward and uncomfortable.  Especially, when Trevor imploded.  I think sometimes you can save yourself, even if you mess up immensely, if you try to just go for it and entertain, but Trevor didn't do that.  You could see him mentally berating himself.  JDA, Joel, and Lee made it through.  Trevor left a crying mess.  Forlornly, meandering down the sidewalk.

David Leathers, Jr., Kevin Quinn, Kayden Stephenson, and Sanni M'Mairura are the youngest contenders so of course they got put in a group together.  David made it to the very end last year, just missing the live votes.  Kayden is the cystic fibrosis kids.  He was not good.  It sort of got away from him at the very beginning and he couldn't get it back.  David and Sanni made it through.  Mariah was deeply upset that they got rid of Kayden, but Nicki made a good point.  Based solely on the voice, it was a good decision.

Pappa Peachez group is fighting in the confessional, right before they go on.  So, yeah. This is going to be great.  Frankie the Subway busker from the NYC auditions is making excuses up to the minute they walk out on stage.  He is crying.  What a mess.  Besides PP, there is Adam Sanders, Frankie Ford, and Charles Allen.  This was another super awkward, uncomfortable mess.  Frankie just starts crying, mouthing I'm sorry to the judges.  Charles and Adam are the only ones who keep it together.  PP just doesn't give a shit.  He's like the honey badger.  Frankie gets sent home and I feel genuinely bad for him.  I'm worried about him and I'm pretty sure Mariah is too.  You can tell because she kept touching her extensions.  Frankie's meltdown outside was even more awkward then his actual performance.  So, the less said about it the better.

That was the end of day 1.  It was awful.  The boys are not that great this year, which kind of makes me happy, because I want a girl to win.  It is well past time.  What did you guys think?

The Following Recap: Three's a Crowd ... Or Not

The Following, Episode 4: "Mad Love"

Hoo boy.  The Following just keeps getting better and better.  It's crazy that the aspect of the show that is most engaging is the twisted relationship between Emma, Jacob, and Paul.  We picked up where we left off last week.  In the basement of their hideout, with the terrified girl that Paul kidnapped tied to a chair.  Emma is over it.  She tells the former lovers to take care of it.  Jacob and Paul have a moment where Paul calls Jacob a liar.  You think that he is talking about their dalliance while they lived next door to Sarah.  Wrong.  Turns out, Jacob has never killed anyone before.  In flashback, he tells a pretty convincing story to the other followers, but it's all made up.  Joe knows that Jacob has not killed anyone, but he is oddly OK with it.  Letting him know that he still has plans for him.  I'm curious what those plans are.  Paul and Emma decided it was time for Jacob to take the plunge, but he couldn't do it.  He let her go.  Paul and Emma corner her and Jacob finds her again in the basement, waiting for him.  Paul and Emma meet up in the bathroom and come to an understanding.  Jacob finds them both in the shower, still clothed, and they invite him in.  They are willing to work with him, but how long will this tenuous alliance last?

If there is a problem with The Following, it is that the members of Joe's serial killer cult are more interesting than Ryan and Joe.  When the show is focused on the cult members, you get this feeling in the pit of your stomach.  You're queasy, and a little excited.  You are getting a window into a world that you don't normally get a window into.  It is definitely hyper real, but it is still really interesting.  This new revelation about Jacob is awesome.  Is Jacob really into this whole killing thing or is he just lost and looking for a place to belong?  Is he confused, just in life?  I'm hoping for some flashbacks to his pre-cult life to get some answers to these questions.

The other parts of the episode dealt with the tying up of the loose end that is Maggie Kester.  She decided to go off script since Ryan killed her husband.  She decides to kidnap Ryan's sister, Jenny.  Ryan attempts to do the lone wolf thing, but instead Weston follows him.  Weston attempts to bond with Ryan, but is rebuffed at every turn.  There are some flashbacks to Ryan taking Claire to go meet Jenny.  Jenny really likes Claire, but seeing the two of them get along, and dropping some personal info to Claire post-coitus, causes Ryan to freak and end things.  Ryan's reasoning actually made a lot of sense.  He was worried that him being around Claire made her think of Carroll and was afraid that he was holding her back.  Um... maybe he should have said that too her.  It is obvious that Claire and Ryan still love each other, but Ryan won't even have some breakfast with her.

Ryan and Weston end up saving Maggie, after she uses his pacemaker against him.  That is another thing.  I get that Ryan's pacemaker is his Kryptonite, but they have stop using it as a plot crutch.  There are other ways to incapacitate him I'm sure.  Weston ends up shooting Maggie, killing their only lead to Joey's whereabouts.  Luckily, they recover her cell phone and are able to narrow down Joey's location to upstate New York.

So, there you have it.  Are you like me?  Do you think that the followers are more interesting than the good guys?  This ep was a little Carroll light, did you miss him?  Is Ryan too cliche?  Let me know in the comments.

Rihanna Has a New Video.

After performing the song on the Grammy's, Rihanna released the official video for the song "Stay" featuring Mikky Ekko.  The video is very reminiscent of the video for "Everytime" by Britney Spears, except there seems to be no storyline.  It is just Rihanna, in a bathtub, attempting to look forlorn.  It looks like this is Rihanna's version of serious or introspective.  I'm not sure, but it definitely isn't working for her.   Love the song.  Hate the video.  Take a look for yourself.

Pretty Little Liars Recap: Bring Your "A" Game

Pretty Little Liars, Episode 18: "Dead To Me"

So, I know it's been like two eps since the big revelAtion with Toby, but Spencer needs to get her shit together.  For real. She continued to do everything that she possibly could to alienate her friends and family.  She refused to attend a re-internment ceremony the DeLaurentis' were holding for Allison.  I have to say, it was bitchy, but I was kind of on Spencer's side here.  Everyone acts like Allison was a saint, when really she was a terrible friend, blackmailed her friends and their family, and is basically the reason all these bad things are happening to the Liars now.  She rose to MonA's bait in the hallway.  You knew MonA was trying to get under Spencer's skin from her using the phrase "A" game" to talking about how it would be a shame if Toby drove all that way to root for MonA rather than Spencer.  She was sass mouthing the seedy PI that she hired to track Toby, who demanded $500 more from her before he would release the information.  Seedy PI ends up giving Spencer some good advice, if she doesn't find what she is looking for behind the door that the "A" key unlocks, then she needs to move on.  Spencer does not find what she is looking for in the seedy apartment.  It is completely empty.    This really sends Spence spiraling out of control.  She crashes the mini-wake being held by the other Liars and tells Jason that Allison was pregnant with Wilden's baby.  The Liars are kind of being too mean to Spencer.  They turn on her pretty quickly.  It seems a little forced.  Wouldn't they try a little harder to comfort Spencer or find out what's going on?  As she is leaving, Spence sees the hydrangeas that Toby bought in front of his mom's chamber in the mausoleum.  She carves Toby's name above it, letting him know that she is done.  No more Mr. Nice. Guy.  Yowza.  

The other Liars were busy this episode also.  Hanna's story was the least interesting.  She convinced Caleb to go and help clean out his aunt's house.  In the process, it was revealed that Caleb's uncle is probably/definitely his father.  Yawn.  No one cares.

Aria is still depressed about Ezra leaving, so she hangs out all the time at his house like some creepy stalker, or  you know, a teenager.  I know people are into this, but I am not.  It's creepy, statutory rape-y, and now that Ezra has a son, I am over it.  I definitely don't want to see Aria playing house with Ezra's bastard.  So, I'm glad that they are strongly hinting that Aria may have some competition for Ezra with his brother who hit on his physics teacher.  Um... well they are the same age so I'm going to say it's better.

The most ridiculous aspect of the episode was Emily being hypnotized by Dr. Sullivan.  I mean, Emily is probably the most weak minded of all the girls, I'm surprised she doesn't get hypnotized tying her shoes.  Still, it seemed like a really lazy plot device.  Emily, at first, sees herself killing Allison with a shovel, but later on realizes that what she was really seeing was the person who took her to Allie's grave the night it was dug up.  She also sees a blond in a red trench coat and identifies her as the leader of the "A" team.  Could it be Allison?  Hanna seems to think so.  

Some other quick things:

Emily reveals that Paige was not cheating on her, but trying to get info about who was wearing the Queen of Hearts costume on Halloween.  She also finds one of the 25(!) post cards that she left in Allie's coffin in her mother's purse.

MonA shows up at Dr. Sullivan's new office bearing an orchid and some crazy eyes.  She thanked the good doctor before taking off.  Yikes.  Never trust psychos bearing orchids.  

At the end of the episode, an "A" team member is shown buying a bottle of whiskey.  A big deal is made of him showing his ID, so they obviously want to make it known this person is over 21.  Who could it be?  Ezra perhaps?  

So, what did you guys think?  Hit up the comments.