Wednesday, May 15, 2013

RuPaul's Drag Race Recap: Dios Mio

RuPaul's Drag Race, Episode 9: "Drama Queens"


So, that's where Wilmer Valderama has been!  I'm sure we've all been wondering whatever happened to the guy who played Fez on That '70's Show.  Now we know.  He has been relegated to showing up on a reality show about drag queens.  He wasn't even a guest judge!  Go back to dating Demi Lovato, Wilmer.

A side note: It's always funny to me when the queens listen to Ru's message before he enters the workroom for the first time.  I mean, if you listen to the clues that he is dropping, it's pretty obvious what the challenge may be about, but the queens seem genuinely puzzled.  I'm not sure if they are downplaying it for the cameras, or if they are instructed to, but it seems kind of crazy.

Anyways, back to the episode.  The mini challenge was for the queens to cry on cue.  This was kind of a big challenge for Detox.  She had a breakthrough.  She thought about her boyfriend who had recently died and cried real tears.  Detox has kept things really close to the vest.  She hasn't really wanted to admit or disclose anything personal about herself.  It was nice to see her be more of a human and less like a character.  It was no surprise when Detox was deemed winner of the mini challenge along with Alyssa Edwards.

The main challenge was for the queens to divide into three person teams and film their very own telenovela's alongside Wilmer Valderama.  Detox and Alyssa were able to pick teams and Detox wasted no time in reforming Rolaskatox, even though Alaska still seems totally over it.  Poor Jinkx was forced to team with the still feuding Coco and Alyssa.  These bitches.  I don't even have the time for them anymore.

I was fully expecting Team Rolaskatox to kill it, and they sort of did.  Alaska completely brought it with her character, and Roxxxy, surprisingly, was very strong.  Roxxxy has been very vocal about how she hates "acting" challenges and how unfair she thinks they are, but she did great.  Detox was the weakest link.  Her maid/villian was very one dimensional and she made a lot of choices that didn't make sense.

Team Alyssa was a hot mess, except for Jinkx.  Jinkx's character was a girl who was under a curse and had to orgasm whenever she heard a certain word.  Jinkx killed it.  Alyssa was playing her mother and she had to orgasm as well, and let me tell ya, if that is how Alyssa orgasms, she probably doesn't have sex very often.  I mean, that and her face.  Ru tried to get Alyssa to meet Jinkx, but it was an epic fail.  Coco was about as animated as cardboard and she seemed more into trying to eyehump Wilmer than participate in the challenge.

The queens hit the main stage dressed in Latina realness.  Jinkx did a whole Day of the Dead thing with full skull face paint.  It was a huge risk and it paid off.  Big time.  Not only did she look the best on the Main Stage, but she won the challenge.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, Alyssa was awful.  Santino called it the worst dress in Drag Race herstory.  Coco was praised for her Dorothy Dandridge realness and melon colored jumpsuit, but her performance in the main challenge landed her in the bottom two.   Alongside ALYSSA EDWARDS.  This was probably the lip sync that poeple looked forward to the most.  It was a fierce fight and both queens turned it out.  In the end, Alyssa sashayed away.  

Here's hoping that this was what the dolls needed to put this whole ridiculous, pageant mess behind them.  What did you guys think?  Let me know in the comments.

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