Miley Cyrus Made a Video

Miley Cyrus "We Can't Stop"

Miley Cyrus is all grown up.  I mean, I'm surprised that you didn't know this.  She has been doing things to show it and basically screaming it at anyone who will listen.  She did a duet with Snoop Dogg - er - Lion called "Ashtrays & Heartbreaks" all about how she loves to get high.  Grown ups get high.  She released a video of herself twerking in a unicorn onesie.  Grown ups twerk in unicorn onesies.  Just in case you're obtuse or maybe missed them, Miley decided to do one more thing to prove that she is all growed up.  She released the video for her new single, "We Can't Stop."

I've seen a lot of articles, blog posts, etc., talking about how shocking this video is and after watching it, my reaction was basically a big shoulder shrug, followed by a "meh."  If people think this is controversial, they have a really short memory.  Miley is doing what female pop stars have done when they come of age since there have been femal pop stars.  It's like Miley had a check list of things she needed to do to finally shed her Hannah Montana image and she dutifully checked each one off.  Tight outfit?  Check.  Booty shaking?  Check.  Some provocative images?  Check.  I mean, if a skull made out of french fries, someone pretending to cut their fingers off and Miley twerking all over th place doesn't prove that she's an adult now, I don't know what will.  This video is a lot of things, but shocking?  Maybe it would be, if it wasn't trying so hard.

So, here it is.  After viewing let me know how shocked you were in the comments.

They're Baaaaacccckkkk!!

The Real Housewives of Miami - Season 3

Bravo announced yesterday that the latest and last franchise in their Real Housewives franchise, The Real Housewives of Miami, would be premiering it's third season on August 12th.  You may notice from this year's cast photo that we are down a few ladies.  The season three cast consists of from left, Lisa Hochstein, Lea Black, Adriana de Moura, Joanna Krupa and Alexia Echevarria.  Alexia makes history as the first Housewife who was demoted to friend and then came back as full time cast member.  Karent Sierra, dentist to the stars, was the first lady to announce she would not be returning.  Marysol Patton and Ana Quincoces are recurring.  Ana because she is boring and Marysol because she chose to cut back fearing the effect the show was having on her business.  They would never let Marysol go completely because then we would be deprived of the national treasure that is her mother, Mama Elsa.  

They also released a pretty epic trailer detailing some of the major beats of the season.  It will feature the dueling weddings of mortal enemies Joanna and Adriana.  It seems that Lisa, who was firmly Team Joanna last season has now switched sides.  Adriana and Lea are feuding, Alexia and Lea are feuding, it seems like Joanna and Lea have teamed up.  Seriously, it's like The Godfather people.  That isn't hyperbole.  Why am I describing all this to you, when you can watch it for yourselves?

Here is the trailer for the upcoming third season.  Watch it and then let me know your reactions in the comments.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: You're From Jersey. Toughen Up.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 3: "It's My Party and I'll Fight If I Want To"

Who doesn't want an Aunt Rosie?  Seriously.  She's the cool aunt who helps you take your dad's Ferrari for a joyride when you don't have your license.  Watching Joseph and Rosie tool around in Rich's prized possession was exciting, hilarious and more than a little stressful.  I mean, it was rainy and those roads were twisty.  I was afraid that we might see the first on screen accident in Real Housewives history.  Of course, Kathy and Rich return during the drive and are understandably upset.  Well, Kathy, who is sporting some Annie Hall realness, is upset, mainly, because she knows Rich isn't.  Oh, Rich makes a big show of how angry he is, but as soon as they are out of earshot of Kathy, he's all high five son.  Kathy is livid and tries to give Rosie the what for, but Ro is not having it.  This is just another example of Kathy being the only responsible one in her family full of children, adult and non-adult.  I can see how it would be frustrating to be the only one who is laying down the law, but why go of on Rosie?  Rosie was just being fun Aunt Ro.  Come on, Kath.  If you're going to be pissed off at anyone, be pissed off at Rich for refusing to discipline.  Still, hopefully Kathy gets some juicier material than just standing around looking exasperated.

Since we're focused in on Housewives' family members, let's talk about my love for Milania.  You all know that I hate Gia, but Milania is, by far, my favorite member of the Giudice family.  I loved every second of Milania being a little monster in the beauty salon and Teresa doing nothing to stop it.  I mean, why would she parent?  That's not her job, right?  Why would she ever make them do something they didn't want to do?  Anyway, I loves me some Milania.  I'm sure that as she gets older, and this behavior continues, I will like her less and less, until I loathe her as much as Gia.  For now though, I'm Team Milania.

Ugh.  Speaking of Gia, they were getting ready for her 12th birthday party.  She also had a one on one dinner with dad, Joe, that was meant to be cute, but was just horrible.  She is like a mini Joe.  That is terrible.  I just can't with these two.  Seriously.

Jacqueline is dealing with Nicholas' autism.  She and Chris bought him a hyperbaric chamber. Apparently, it helps some kids with autism.  I'm not for sure why.  I read an article about it and I still came a way a little fuzzy.  Also, Jacqueline went and "worked out" with Melissa and Kathy, but she was late.  Also, according to Teresa, they were at her gym, which they never go to, so they must have been going there because she went there and because they are obsessed with her.

In Caroline's neck of the woods, we met another sibling, Aunt Frannie and her menagerie of animals.  It seems that Aunt Frannie was babysitting a hog.  It wasn't one of those cute little pigs, but a full size, Pumbaa-style warthog.  It was weird, but did inject some much needed levity into the proceedings.

Then it was time for Gia's party.  Joe Gorga wasn't attending due to the fact that he was sick and it was coming out of both ends.  His words.  So, Melissa decides to go and take the kids.  When they get there, the women work hard to ignore each other, but then they seem to realize that they are on a reality show and they are paid to interact.  So, Melissa heads over to Teresa who is chilling with Kim D.  Teresa pretty much immediately asks why Melissa didn't go see her father-in-law when he was in the hospital.  Melissa is clearly flustered and attempts to explain herself, but Teresa keeps hammering her.  Kim D. is egging her on the whole time, perched on her shoulder like some emaciated parrot with ratty extensions.  The whole thing was a little hard to follow, but the gist is that Melissa is claiming she went to the hospital the day after he was admitted and Teresa is claiming she waited four days.  Melissa backtracks and says she waited to go because she was sick with the bug that is causing Joe to erupt and both ends, but Teresa and lackey aren't buying it.  Finally, Melissa leaves because she doesn't want the kids to witness this disgusting display.  Whew.

So, what did you guys think of this episode?  Do you want an Aunt Rosie of your very own?  Are  you as in love with Milania as I am?  Do you know how a hyperbaric chamber helps autism and if you do can you explain it to me?  Were you as confused by the latest Melissa/Teresa dust up as I was and whose side are you on?  Let me know in the comments.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Meeting of the Minds

The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 2: "A Manzo of Her Word"

It's only the second episode of the season and we are already seeing big things happening!  I think we can all agree that the biggest thing was the first appearance of walking trash can herself, Kim D.  There are so many supremely awful things about Kim D., but I think the worst thing might be her nasty, ratchet ass, hair extensions.  I mean, sure, her face looks like a duck billed platypus sucking on a lemon, but those extensions.  Seriously, you own a clothing store called Posche.  If I walked into Posche and saw Kim D. sporting Britney Spears' VMA performance of "Gimme More" hair extensions, I would back out of the store slowly, hands in the air, and pray to God no one saw me.  How were we reintroduced to the illustrious business owner?  Well, she was hanging out with Teresa, obvi.  She was with Teresa when she got the text from Caroline asking to meet.  Why would Teresa be hanging out with Kim D. after she tried to publicly out Melissa as a stripper, especially since she claims she's trying to reconcile with the Gorgas?  Well, duh, y'all, Kim D. has never done anything to Teresa.  It's all good.

Oh yeah, and besides Kim D.'s return, we had the first face to face meeting between Caroline and Teresa since last year's infamous reunion.  You remember, the one where Teresa said that Caroline had three layers, "Blubber, blubber, and more blubber."  I mean, technically that is the same layer three times, but you know Teresa, she doesn't have much time for that book learnin', unless it's cookbook learnin'.  More on the matriach's meeting in a bit.

First, let's touch base quickly with the other ladies.  Let's start with Kathy.  Oh, Kathy.  Sometimes I wonder if I would miss you if you left the show and you know what, I would.  Only because of your amazing, lesbian sister, Rosie.  Seriously, who would have thought that the most inclusive, gay friendly Housewives franchise, would be New Jersey?  Certainly, not me.  It's great to see Rosie at the table being treated like one of the guys, which is all she wants.  I loves me some Rosie.  So, Kathy can leave, but Rosie has to stay!!

So, back to Kathy.  It seems like her storyline is going to consist of her getting more and more frustrated with Rich's increasingly loutish behavior.  Sometimes I wonder if Rich plays this up for the cameras, but he seems pretty genuine.  They went to visit Victoria in nursing school.  Of course, Rich tried to molest the dummies that the students practice on and the whole time Kathy was wearing her trade marked long suffering, exasperated look.  If you follow the tabloids, you probably know that rumors were circulating recently that Kathy and Rich were getting divorced, which they both vehemently denied.  Perhaps, the lady doth protest too much?

Then there's Jacqueline.  I know a lot of people are giving Jacqueline crap about how she is handling Nicholas' autism and about her tweets.  Be that as it may, you'd have to have the coldest heart to not be a little moved when Nicholas finally says "I love you."  It was adorbs.  Also, is Chris Laurita the best husband ever or what?  He obviously loves his family, he works hard to stay out of the drama that the ladies create and working that hard to make his wife happy.  I'm swooning over here.

Melissa and Joe still want to sell their house to get away from Teresa.  Cue massive eye roll.  You are moving away from her, but you still want to be on a reality show with her, where you will be forced to interact.  That makes a lot of sense.  The Gorgas are charging 3.8 million for the House That Joe Built.  A realtor who is friends with Teresa, don't worry, Melissa isn't holding that against here, again cue eye roll, brings over someone to check out the house.  Her claim to fame is that she is on of P. Diddy's baby mamas.  Seriously.  That was how she introduced herself.  OK.  The Gorgas are supremely confident that the house will sell for what they want and that people should consider themselves lucky that they get to live in it.  Well, when they are in the upstairs bathroom part of the sink breaks off.  (I should point out that on Watch What Happens Live, Melissa claimed that they were in the kids bathroom, so shoddy workmanship is cool if it's for the kids.  Lesson learned.)  That couldn't have been telegraphed better and I was rolling on the ground.

Now, back to the main event.  Caroline, smartly, booked a private room for their tete a tete.  I really appreciate what Caroline was trying to do here, but it went about as well as could be expected.  In Teresa's world, everyone is to blame for the problems that she has with her family.  She does nothing wrong.  Caroline suggests making peace with Kathy, but Teresa balks, or she would if she knew what that word meant.  Teresa is still hung up on Kathy calling her dad a coward.  She also tries to bring up Caroline's fight with her own sister, Dina, but Caroline isn't having it and pushes aside Teresa's attempt to deflect.  Teresa lives in a fantasy world.  The conversation goes in circles and ends up going nowhere.  Just like Melissa, Teresa is unwilling to bend, to accept any responsibility in this family drama.  Caroline seems to realize that and they part.  No blubber talk.  No barbs really thrown.  No tables thrown.  This time.

So, what did you guys think?  Are you ready for this family feud to be resolved already?  Should Caroline mind her own business?  Would you pay 3.8 mil for the Gorga manse?  Should Kim D. change the name of her store to Ratchet?  Are you in love with Rosie too?  Will Jacqueline and Kathy do anything interesting this season?  Hit me up in the comments.

Pretty Little Liars Recap: An Offer You Can't Refuse

Pretty Little Liars, Episode 23: "I'm Your Puppet"

"You don't have to ask me again, Mona.  I'm in."  Say it ain't so, Spence!!  Spencer uttered these words at the end of the episode, seemingly joining the "A" Team and working against the other Liars.  This was a jam packed episode that set the scene for the season finale.  So, let's take a look at what each Liar was doing, while Spencer enjoyed her time in the worst mental institution ever.

Hanna:  The Liar formerly known as Hefty Hanna was finding herself more and more embroiled in Caleb's UncleDad drama.  All drama is forgotten by Caleb, but Hanna is still thinking about the money she thinks Jamie stole from the church.  Hanna is pulled aside by Ella.  Apparently, Jamie is being accused of stealing a church bell and replacing it with a fake.  Of course, Hanna thinks that this is the best time to tell Caleb about DadUncle and the communion money she thinks he stole.  Caleb confronts him and that doesn't go well.  Caleb's all "I was in foster homes because of you, deadbeat!" and DadUncle is all, "I've changed.  You'll see."  He leaves all dejected like.  Later in the episode, Hanna hears the church bell ringing and gets a text from "A".  It turns out "A" stole the bell and framed Jamie for it, along with the money.  Caleb reads the text over Hanna's shoulder.  Wah wah.  I definitely didn't see that coming.  So, good on ya, "A".  This will for sure shove a wedge between Caleb and Hanna.

Emily:  Emily was determined to prove that the body found in the woods wasn't Toby.  She wants to use her mom's connections at the police station to sneak in, and of course Mrs. Fields is cool with it.  What is wrong with the parents on this show?  Seriously?  The Liars sans Spencer bust out their candy striper outfits -- er, nurses uniforms -- and head to the morgue to take a photo of the body to show Toby.  When they open the body bag, they find the corpse wearing a mask.  they reach out to pull it off, but hear a loud noise and flee.  So, was it just me or did that look a lot like the PI that Spence hired to track down Toby?  Man, these girls are the angels of death.  So, Em feels all vindicated and is ready to tell Spence, when she finds out that another body was found in the woods, right where Spencer said it would be.  Uh-oh.  Not so fast.  At the end of the episode, there is a close up of Toby's tattoo, but it's smudged.  Hmmm...

Aria:  Aria and Ezra are still having problems.  Surprise, surprise.  So, Ezra has a job interview but he also needs to pick up Malcolm.  Aria offers to help despite the fact that she is a terrible babysitter and would probably drown the kid in order to have Fitz all to herself.  Despite that, Ezra says he'll handle Maggie so Aria can pick up Mini Fitz from karate.  When Aria gets there, Malcolm is gone.  Apparently, she had already been there to pick him up.  After a quick search, Aria finds a poster for a carnival in Malcolm's cubby with one of the A's circled.  She books it to the carnival, probably thinking that "A" is doing her a huge favor here, maybe thinking of gifts she could give them.  Aria spots "A" with Malcolm but loses them in the crowd.  After a frantic search, she finds him in a tent where a puppet show is being held.  He is alone and when Aria asks who brought him here, Malcolm tells her it was her friend, Allison.

Spencer:  Spencer is totally cool with being in Radley.  She ignores the other Liars when they come to visit and her mom.  Her mom does tell her a story about confronting Allison when she was sneaking into their house.  Seems Ali was sporting a split lip and a black eye.  Mrs. Hastings quizzed her about it and Ali revealed she had a deep dark secret, but when pressed she dropped it and was all smiles.  Spencer is learning all of Radley's secrets.  She finds a map that MonA had drawn on a gameboard.  She also senses some tension between Wren and Eddie Lamb.  Eddie tells Spencer that Wren can't be trusted.  He doesn't elaborate.  Spencer is also hiding her medication in her pillowcase, so there's that.  Spencer also hallucinates Ali, so maybe she does need to be in a mental institution, just not Radley, because Radley is a joke.  Ali the Dancing Hallucination directs Spencer to the star at the end of MonA's map.  There, Spencer finds a pillowcase full of goodies every sociopath would need to break into and out of a sanitarium: a fake id for MonA the nurse, some medical papers and -- surprise, surprise -- a visitors pass for Cece filled out by Wren.  When Spencer confronts the Englishmen he admits that he did it.  It seems Cece got booted from college because of some Ali engineered frat party shenanigans.  She really wanted to talk to MonA, so Wren let her.  I mean, why not?  Wren gives a halfhearted excuse about how he thought Cece would be a good influence on MonA.  I mean, yeah, for sure.  Sigh.  He also reveals that Melissa was the one that told Cece MonA was at Radley.  This is when Spencer makes her fateful decision to join the "A" Team.  She pulls out a hoodie and some pills from her pillowcase grab bag, along with tickets to the carnival puppet show.  Whoops.  Sorry, Aria.

So, one more episode to go.  What is going to happen next?  Who is Red CoAt?  

Movie Review: The Hangover Part III

Movie Review: The Hangover Part III

*1/2 stars out of ****

The Hangover was a summer surprise in 2009.  The story of three friends who lose the groom during his bachelor weekend and can't remember what happened the night before became one of the top grossing movies of the year and one of the top grossing comedies of all time.  With the first film's success it wasn't surprising that there was a sequel.  The Hangover Part II was basically the original film, except this time the Wolf Pack ended up in Thailand.  The sequel was alright.  It recycled a lot of stuff from the first movie, but there were still laughs to be had.  After, Part II's boffo box office, a third film was greenlit and news spread that The Hangover Part III would be the concluding chapter in the Wolf Pack trilogy.

The third film continues the story of the Wolf Pack: ladies man, Phil (Bradley Cooper), meek dentist, Stu (Ed Helms), and off his rocker, man child, Alan (Zack Galifianakis).  The movie kicks off with the death of Alan's beloved father (Jeffrey Tambor) of a heart attack after yelling at Alan about growing up.  This leads to an intervention for Alan.  On their way to the rehab center the Pack are ambushed by a gangster played by John Goodman who also has "Black Doug" (Mike Epps) from the first film, in his employ.  They are looking for Chow and send the Wolf Pack to retrieve them.  Apparently Chow stole millions of dollars in gold from Goodman's gangster.  They also take Doug (Justin Bartha) as inusrance.  Of course they do.  The hunt for Chow takes the boys to Mexico and back to Vegas, where it all began.

The Hangover Part III proves that there can be too much of a good thing.  You get that feeling that director Todd Phillips was trying to make this movie feel epic.  There is a lot going on and not a lot of it works.  For one thing, the focus shifts away from the members off the Wolf Pack and onto Chow.  Chow is a minor character that works best in small doses.  With the amount of screen time he has, his schtick gets real old real quick.

On the flip side of that same coin, the focus of the Wolf Pack shifts squarely to Galifianakis, which works for the most part.  He is the funniest of the three main actors and he provides some of the only laughs in the film.  Watching the film, you get the feeling that Phillips maybe forgot that he was directing a comedy.  It seems like he was so focused on bringing the films full circle and filling it with callbacks from the first film that he didn't worry so much about making it funny.  The theater I was in was relatively laugh free.  This was a movie where the trailer did it no favors.  There could have been some genuine belly laughs if the trailer hadn't featured the giraffe or Chow parachuting from Caesar's Palace.

There is also a lot of violence in the film, which is not uncommon for these movies, but in the previous films, the violence has been played for laughs.  In this film, the violence was just violent and it came out of nowhere.  There are some filmmakers that can walk that fine line and Phillips definitely is not it.

The films have been pretty woman-lite and this film attempts to remedy that.  There is a cameo from comedy's newest "It Girl", Melissa McCarthy.  I love McCarthy, but she really is given nothing to do.  She is basically playing a female Allen and the schtick just doesn't work.

Bottom Line:  The Hangover Part III provs that the third time is most definitely not the charm.  The conclusion to the Wolf Pack trilogy is a lackluster, laugh free affair, that does some damage to the reputation of the first film.

New Girl Season Finale Recap: A Nice Day For A White Wedding

New Girl, Episode 25: "Elaine's Big Day"

New Girl started as a starring vehicle for it's adorkable (ugh, can we just stop with this word, unless we are mocking someone) leading lady, Zooey Deschanel.  It quickly morphed into one of the wittiest, most quotable, ensemble comedies on television.  This season has seen Deschanel's Jess go through a number of life changes.  She lost her job, tried on some new ones with hilarious results, until finding her way back to her passion: teaching.  She also embarked on a flirtation, friends with benefits situation and then a full fledged relationship with her roommate, young curmedgeon bartender Nick Miller.  Schmidt continued being a lovable douchebag, torn between his love of the single life and his love of Jess' model BFF, Cece.  Winston did... stuff.  Stuff that was sometimes amusing?  Poor Winston.  

This episode took place at Cece's marriage to Shivrang.  Schmidt is still not happy about the wedding, even though he is still dating Elizabeth.  He had a pretty impactful "eye conversation" with Cece though, so he is determined to sabotage the ceremony.  Jess, Cece's maid of honor, is working hard to avoid the shenanigans but just can't.  Winston is the king of pranks, so he is immediately down.  Thank goodness for that, otherwise Winston would just sit with the guests, quietly twiddling his thumbs.  

So, the boys decide to prank Cece's wedding.  Nick works hard to stay out of the pranking and be presentable, because he wants to show Jess that he can be responsible.  Jess has been pulling away from Nick and wants to end their relationship because she can't stop thinking about what her dad said.  Nick can't stay uninvolved though.  In no time, he is blasting Cotton Eyed Joe and searching the ducts for an enraged badger.  Jess eventually ends up in there with them and Nick and Jess crash through the ducts directly onto the altar.  

Cece finally owns up to the fact that she does not want to marry Shivrang and that she is still in love with Schmidt.  Shivrang is not that torn up about it because this frees him up to be with Elaine, his one true, Caucasian love.  Elaine was played by Taylor Swift.  It was OK.  They made a big deal of her guest appearance, but it was basically her just being Tay Tay.  A shiny, effervescent white girl.  She wasn't bad, she wasn't great, she was just mediocre.

Nick and Jess meet up outside and decide that they deserve to give their relationship another shot.  They get in the car and start driving.  Where will they go?  Who knows.  But I'm sure we'll find out next season.

Final Verdict: New Girl closed out it's sophomore season with a satisfying season finale.  The comedy successfully avoided the sophomore slump, while adding new layers to these already beloved characters.  I have to give the writers major props for making Cece funny and three dimensional.  She definitely could have got stuck in the pretty, model trap, but that has been successfully avoided.  On the other hand, Winston continues to be the odd man out.  I'm hoping that the writers spend time during their hiatus trying to find a way to better utilize LaMorne Morris.  Also, with the fate of Happy Endings still up in the air, maybe we'll see the return of Damon Wayans, Jr.'s Coach.

So, what did you guys think of the finale and the second season as a whole.  Hit me up in the comments and let me know.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season Premiere Recap: Won't Someone Please Think Of The Children?!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 1: "Garden State of Emergency"

There are rare times when actual reality intrudes on the manufactured reality of some of your favorite reality television shows.  This happened during last night's fifth season premiere of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, as the various ladies drove through the Jersey Shore, surveying the damage left behind in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.  With the tornadoes in Oklahoma and the recent flooding throughout the Midwest, it's easy to forget that Sandy was particularly devastating and that people are still rebuilding.  I'll admit I was feeling some genuine emotion watching Melissa, Joey G, Kathy, Richie, Teresa and Juicy Joe, maneuvering through the wreckage of their Shore homes, but then it hit me... these are their SECOND HOMES.  They all still have mansions to go home to that are completely fine.  Whew.  I'm glad that's over.  Now we can all go back to making fun of Teresa as she mispronounces words and pretends she knows what's going on with the economy.  

After that troubling detour into the harsh light of day, we are firmly back in more familiar territory.  The feud between the Gorgas and the Giudices is still going strong.  Teresa has not spoken to any of her castmates since the ridiculousness of the season 4 reunion.  We are still hearing basically the same things from Teresa and Melissa.  It seems the producers realize that we are sick of hearing about how Melissa is jealous of Teresa and how Teresa maybe called Melissa a stripper.  So, how can we inject this feud with some freshness.  I know.  Let's get small children involved!!

Yes, little Milania and Antonia have now become pawns in their mothers' quests to extend their fifteen minutes of fame.  It turns out Antonia wrote a letter to her cousin talking about how she missed her little cousin.  Melissa decides to mail the letter to the Giudice household.  Teresa of course thinks that Melissa put Antonia up to the whole thing, but she still has little Milania call Antonia to try to set up a playdate.  The whole thing is super awkward seeing as how neither mother will speak to the other, so nothing is really accomplished.  Melissa and Teresa eventually text back and forth, but neither will give an inch.  The whole thing is so incredibly stupid.  

You know who else is so incredibly stupid?  Joe Giudice.  He is the worst.  He ekes out Slade for worst Housewife Husband/Significant other.  He is badmouthing Melissa, his sister-in-law and his children's aunt, in front of them, referring to her as Horsey Face to Melania and calling her a stank ass beeyotch to Teresa.  Come on.  Does Joe really have any room to be calling anyone Horsey Face?  I mean, every surface of his house is reflective, so he has to have seen himself at least once.  Also, stop roundhouse kicking that punching bag whenever a camera is near you.  It doesn't make you look tough.  It's just going to make you pull a groin.  Wait a minute.  Keep doing it.  I would love to see that.

Speaking of Giudice family members I hate, how about Gia?  She is just awful.  Now listen, before anyone says anything about a grown man hating an 11 year old, be quiet, I'm not listening to you.  I realize that the reason that Gia is the way that she is is because of Teresa.  Even if Teresa started treating her like her daughter rahter than one of her girlfriends today, there is no way that Gia will grow up to be anything other than a completely awful human being.  I mean, Teresa just lets her text Melissa.  Why are you alowing your 11 year old to interject herself into this?  You have the power to stop her.  Do it!

The playdate finally  happens with the ladies meeting to make jewelry or something.  It was pretty funny that Teresa and Melissa both loved that hideously ugly homemade jeweld sink thing.  Tacky reigns supreme in the Garden State.  Absolutely nothing is resolved since Teresa and Melissa won't even look each other in the eyes.  No resolutions in the premiere.  Shocker.

The other women had little to do.  Caroline and Albert have gotten an apartment in Hoboken to test the waters out and to keep tabs on Albie and Chris, despite Caroline's claims to the contrary.  Also, it's kind of cool to see Caroline and Joe's relationship blossom and it's good that Joe actually has someone to talk to.  Jacqueline spends some time with Nicholas, she also mentions bleaching her asshole.  So, there's that.  Kathy has a nice dinner with everyone's favorite Jersey lesbian, Rosie.

Can we talk about the opening credits?  Seriously, they have had the same ones for three years.  The women don't even look the same.  Can't Bravo throw them a little money to film some new ones, I mean, they are the most successful Housewives franchise.  

So, what did  you guys think of the premiere?  Are you excited to be back in Jersey?  It looks like the Gorgas and the Giudices will finally find peace.  Do you believe it?  What about Caroline talking about the real Melissa?  Could Ashley and Jacqueline be meeing with Danielle Staub?  It's going to be a wild ride.  Hit me up in the comments with your thoughts and reactions to the premiere.

Pretty Little Liars Recap: Don't Count On Me

Pretty Little Liars, Episode 22: "Will the Circle Be Unbroken?"

My how the tables have turned.  Radley Sanitarium is still playing a major role in this season of PLL, but it's not MonA who is chilling there, it's Spencer.  This episode helped to shed some light on just what the eff Spence is thinking.  It also featured some more patented horrible parenting from Ashley, Emily doing basically nothing except interacting with a pointless cameo, and the further disintegration of Ezria.  Let's break it down, Liar by Liar.

Emily:  Poor Emily.  When Spencer started losing it, it looked like the writers were trying to position her as the new Spencer aka the Liar that was the one who was fixated on stoping "A" and the rest of the "A"-Team.  Unfortunately, Ems is not very good at it, so she just comes off as looking incompetent.  I mean, all she really did this episode was interrogate Dr. Sullivan, badly.  The only thing Emily may have gotten right is the idea that Toby may not be dead.  I mean, where's the body?  Emily also ran into Shana aka Costume Shop Girl Who Dated Paige.  She is apparently a swimmer, something she nor Paige ever mentioned before.  Shana introduces Emily to Olympic swimmer Missy Franklin who is in Rosewood for no reason except to film this unnecessary cameo.

Aria:  Aria's relationship with Ezra continues to deteriorate.  It seems like the ghost writing isn't going so well and Ezra is hurting for cash.  So after dumping his problems on his teenage girlfriend, Aria decides to try to do something to help her beau.  She goes to Byron and asks him if he could maybe get Ezra back in at the college.  Ella and Byron have a chat about Aria's request.  They both agree that a job and stability, along with his ex and son in town, might convince him to end thing with Aria.  Yes.  Scheme parents.  I mean, there is no way that Aria will find out about this and be angry.  You should be in the clear.  The next time we see Byron, he is talking to Ezra.  Byron talked to the dean but there are no open positions in their department.  Byron tells Ezra that he will keep his eyes out for him, and Ezra is not suspicious of this at all.  It turns out that Byron and Ella may not have to get involved to end their daughters relationship.  Aria is called in to the principal's office.  It turns out that Ezra has applied to be a substitute teacher.  The principal has heard some rumors about Aria and Ezra having a relationship.  Aria denies everything. So, it seems like their relationship will have to go back in the closet now that Ezra will be back in the school.  That'll make this already stable and healthy relationship, even stabler and healthier, right?

Hanna:  Ashley is obsessively checking the paper for any news on the missing Detective Wilden.  She is ignoring calls from Ted, but Hanna puts a stop to that.  I mean, just because you maybe killed a guy, that souldn't put a dent in your social life, amiright?  Seriously.  That should be this shows unofficial tagline.  Hanna sets up a coffee date for Ashley and Ted and accompanies her mom to the coffee shop. Appropriate.  Ted compliments Caleb's DadUncle, but they are interrupted by the return of Wilden, who is creepy and vague.  He tells Ted that he's been fishing.  Wilden's reappearance sends Ashley into a tailspin and she plans on cancelling a work seminar she's headed to in NYC.  All Hanna has to do is tell her to go and her mind is changed.  Hanna stays with Emily while Ash is gone.  There is a boring interlude between Ashley and Ted, where he basically tells her he doesn't want her to move and she lies to him.  Wilden confronts Hanna outside of Emily's.  He is looking for his keys and car.  He claims that he'll leave her alone if he gets them.  Hanna refuses.  So, if Wilden isn't in on it with the "A" team, then where was he?

Spencer:  Finally, who we have all been waiting for.  Spence is living the high life in Radley.  She is faking amnesia and getting extra Tapioca puddings from an orderly she has struck up a friendship with. Things are going pretty awesome until Spencer finds out that Dr. Sullivan is her court appointed shrink.  Spencer tells the good doctor that Toby is dead.  Sullivan says that Toby's body had never been found and you can see the doubt on Spencer's face.  It turns out that the orderly that Spence has struck up a friendship with is E. Lamb, the orderly that Toby was posing as when he go visit MonA in Radley.  Spencer gives Eddie the whole story.  He reciprocates by telling her that Hadley has had a rash of badge thefts and visitor's log tampering that were traced back to someone on the staff.  Before he leave's he let's Spancer know that she is in -- ODD COINCIDENCE ALERT -- MonA's old room.

Spencer sees the words "will the circle be unbroken" carved in the table and this triggers a flashback of being in church with Ali and seeing MonA dutifully singing the hymn.  Ali spends the service mocking MonA and writing in her diary.  Spencer asks Ali about her diary and she won't give specifics just that she won't let Spence see it until after she's dead and that Spence will need it to carry on after Ali's dead.

MonA shows up to Radley with cookies to visit and mock Spencer.  She denies killing Toby, telling Spencer that if she killed Toby she wouldn't be there.  She drops some knowledge that Ali confessed to MonA that she wasn't pregnant, she just was worried that she might've been.  MonA also has all of Ali's diary entries scanned into her iPad.  She extends Spencer an invitation to join the "A" Team, because MonA knows the answers to questions Spencer hasn't even thought to ask.

In a group therapy session, Spencer sees her fellow therapy patients as the other Liars and that they can't depend on her.  This was another strong scene for Troian Bellisario.  When Spencer is talking about how she was fine with it if it had all ended for her in the woods is heartbreaking.  She plays the scene with the perfect expression of emptiness and reservation.  Kudos to Troian.

The episode ends with "A" gathering all of her possessions into an RV and driving away.

So, two episodes left and they should be pretty good.  What did you guys think?  Hit me up in the comments.