The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 2: "A Manzo of Her Word"
It's only the second episode of the season and we are already seeing big things happening! I think we can all agree that the biggest thing was the first appearance of walking trash can herself, Kim D. There are so many supremely awful things about Kim D., but I think the worst thing might be her nasty, ratchet ass, hair extensions. I mean, sure, her face looks like a duck billed platypus sucking on a lemon, but those extensions. Seriously, you own a clothing store called Posche. If I walked into Posche and saw Kim D. sporting Britney Spears' VMA performance of "Gimme More" hair extensions, I would back out of the store slowly, hands in the air, and pray to God no one saw me. How were we reintroduced to the illustrious business owner? Well, she was hanging out with Teresa, obvi. She was with Teresa when she got the text from Caroline asking to meet. Why would Teresa be hanging out with Kim D. after she tried to publicly out Melissa as a stripper, especially since she claims she's trying to reconcile with the Gorgas? Well, duh, y'all, Kim D. has never done anything to Teresa. It's all good.
Oh yeah, and besides Kim D.'s return, we had the first face to face meeting between Caroline and Teresa since last year's infamous reunion. You remember, the one where Teresa said that Caroline had three layers, "Blubber, blubber, and more blubber." I mean, technically that is the same layer three times, but you know Teresa, she doesn't have much time for that book learnin', unless it's cookbook learnin'. More on the matriach's meeting in a bit.
First, let's touch base quickly with the other ladies. Let's start with Kathy. Oh, Kathy. Sometimes I wonder if I would miss you if you left the show and you know what, I would. Only because of your amazing, lesbian sister, Rosie. Seriously, who would have thought that the most inclusive, gay friendly Housewives franchise, would be New Jersey? Certainly, not me. It's great to see Rosie at the table being treated like one of the guys, which is all she wants. I loves me some Rosie. So, Kathy can leave, but Rosie has to stay!!
So, back to Kathy. It seems like her storyline is going to consist of her getting more and more frustrated with Rich's increasingly loutish behavior. Sometimes I wonder if Rich plays this up for the cameras, but he seems pretty genuine. They went to visit Victoria in nursing school. Of course, Rich tried to molest the dummies that the students practice on and the whole time Kathy was wearing her trade marked long suffering, exasperated look. If you follow the tabloids, you probably know that rumors were circulating recently that Kathy and Rich were getting divorced, which they both vehemently denied. Perhaps, the lady doth protest too much?
Then there's Jacqueline. I know a lot of people are giving Jacqueline crap about how she is handling Nicholas' autism and about her tweets. Be that as it may, you'd have to have the coldest heart to not be a little moved when Nicholas finally says "I love you." It was adorbs. Also, is Chris Laurita the best husband ever or what? He obviously loves his family, he works hard to stay out of the drama that the ladies create and working that hard to make his wife happy. I'm swooning over here.
Melissa and Joe still want to sell their house to get away from Teresa. Cue massive eye roll. You are moving away from her, but you still want to be on a reality show with her, where you will be forced to interact. That makes a lot of sense. The Gorgas are charging 3.8 million for the House That Joe Built. A realtor who is friends with Teresa, don't worry, Melissa isn't holding that against here, again cue eye roll, brings over someone to check out the house. Her claim to fame is that she is on of P. Diddy's baby mamas. Seriously. That was how she introduced herself. OK. The Gorgas are supremely confident that the house will sell for what they want and that people should consider themselves lucky that they get to live in it. Well, when they are in the upstairs bathroom part of the sink breaks off. (I should point out that on Watch What Happens Live, Melissa claimed that they were in the kids bathroom, so shoddy workmanship is cool if it's for the kids. Lesson learned.) That couldn't have been telegraphed better and I was rolling on the ground.
Now, back to the main event. Caroline, smartly, booked a private room for their tete a tete. I really appreciate what Caroline was trying to do here, but it went about as well as could be expected. In Teresa's world, everyone is to blame for the problems that she has with her family. She does nothing wrong. Caroline suggests making peace with Kathy, but Teresa balks, or she would if she knew what that word meant. Teresa is still hung up on Kathy calling her dad a coward. She also tries to bring up Caroline's fight with her own sister, Dina, but Caroline isn't having it and pushes aside Teresa's attempt to deflect. Teresa lives in a fantasy world. The conversation goes in circles and ends up going nowhere. Just like Melissa, Teresa is unwilling to bend, to accept any responsibility in this family drama. Caroline seems to realize that and they part. No blubber talk. No barbs really thrown. No tables thrown. This time.
So, what did you guys think? Are you ready for this family feud to be resolved already? Should Caroline mind her own business? Would you pay 3.8 mil for the Gorga manse? Should Kim D. change the name of her store to Ratchet? Are you in love with Rosie too? Will Jacqueline and Kathy do anything interesting this season? Hit me up in the comments.
Oh yeah, and besides Kim D.'s return, we had the first face to face meeting between Caroline and Teresa since last year's infamous reunion. You remember, the one where Teresa said that Caroline had three layers, "Blubber, blubber, and more blubber." I mean, technically that is the same layer three times, but you know Teresa, she doesn't have much time for that book learnin', unless it's cookbook learnin'. More on the matriach's meeting in a bit.
First, let's touch base quickly with the other ladies. Let's start with Kathy. Oh, Kathy. Sometimes I wonder if I would miss you if you left the show and you know what, I would. Only because of your amazing, lesbian sister, Rosie. Seriously, who would have thought that the most inclusive, gay friendly Housewives franchise, would be New Jersey? Certainly, not me. It's great to see Rosie at the table being treated like one of the guys, which is all she wants. I loves me some Rosie. So, Kathy can leave, but Rosie has to stay!!
So, back to Kathy. It seems like her storyline is going to consist of her getting more and more frustrated with Rich's increasingly loutish behavior. Sometimes I wonder if Rich plays this up for the cameras, but he seems pretty genuine. They went to visit Victoria in nursing school. Of course, Rich tried to molest the dummies that the students practice on and the whole time Kathy was wearing her trade marked long suffering, exasperated look. If you follow the tabloids, you probably know that rumors were circulating recently that Kathy and Rich were getting divorced, which they both vehemently denied. Perhaps, the lady doth protest too much?
Then there's Jacqueline. I know a lot of people are giving Jacqueline crap about how she is handling Nicholas' autism and about her tweets. Be that as it may, you'd have to have the coldest heart to not be a little moved when Nicholas finally says "I love you." It was adorbs. Also, is Chris Laurita the best husband ever or what? He obviously loves his family, he works hard to stay out of the drama that the ladies create and working that hard to make his wife happy. I'm swooning over here.
Melissa and Joe still want to sell their house to get away from Teresa. Cue massive eye roll. You are moving away from her, but you still want to be on a reality show with her, where you will be forced to interact. That makes a lot of sense. The Gorgas are charging 3.8 million for the House That Joe Built. A realtor who is friends with Teresa, don't worry, Melissa isn't holding that against here, again cue eye roll, brings over someone to check out the house. Her claim to fame is that she is on of P. Diddy's baby mamas. Seriously. That was how she introduced herself. OK. The Gorgas are supremely confident that the house will sell for what they want and that people should consider themselves lucky that they get to live in it. Well, when they are in the upstairs bathroom part of the sink breaks off. (I should point out that on Watch What Happens Live, Melissa claimed that they were in the kids bathroom, so shoddy workmanship is cool if it's for the kids. Lesson learned.) That couldn't have been telegraphed better and I was rolling on the ground.
Now, back to the main event. Caroline, smartly, booked a private room for their tete a tete. I really appreciate what Caroline was trying to do here, but it went about as well as could be expected. In Teresa's world, everyone is to blame for the problems that she has with her family. She does nothing wrong. Caroline suggests making peace with Kathy, but Teresa balks, or she would if she knew what that word meant. Teresa is still hung up on Kathy calling her dad a coward. She also tries to bring up Caroline's fight with her own sister, Dina, but Caroline isn't having it and pushes aside Teresa's attempt to deflect. Teresa lives in a fantasy world. The conversation goes in circles and ends up going nowhere. Just like Melissa, Teresa is unwilling to bend, to accept any responsibility in this family drama. Caroline seems to realize that and they part. No blubber talk. No barbs really thrown. No tables thrown. This time.
So, what did you guys think? Are you ready for this family feud to be resolved already? Should Caroline mind her own business? Would you pay 3.8 mil for the Gorga manse? Should Kim D. change the name of her store to Ratchet? Are you in love with Rosie too? Will Jacqueline and Kathy do anything interesting this season? Hit me up in the comments.
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