The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 4: "A Hairy Situation"
This is one of those Housewives episodes that is all about the last ten minutes. You know that something crazy is going to happen. You've seen it in the previews. You know that you are going to have to spend the majority of the episode dealing with the build up. You just hope that it is worth it. We're not sure how these new ladies are going to handle drama and their very first party. Amber and the twins, with a little nudge from Melissa, throw down and Bobby's party to "raise awareness for first responders" goes straight to hell. Seriously, though. I'm pretty sure that people are aware of first responders and what they do. It just makes it seem like Bobby doesn't want to do anything for charity and everyone else is cheap. Which is probably true.
The stuff leading up to the big party/confrontation between Amber and the twins is kind of a snooze. Melissa is a bad driver. And in this scenario, Melissa is a proxy for all women. That's what I got anyway. Apparently, Melissa has damaged their vehicle multiple times and it is not cheap to get repaired. While they are visiting the dealership, Melissa lets Joey know the real reason that Jim didn't come to the boys and Rosie bowling night. This news definitely doesn't endear rat faced Jim to the group. But let's be real, at this point Jim could clear Teresa and Joe of all charges and cure cancer and everyone would still think he was a scumbag.
Amber and Jim were the talk of the episode. When Melissa and Teresa met the twins at a costume shop to pick costumes for the "first responser (nice try, Tre)" party, Nicole was talking about how Amber ruined her reputation and was awful, while Melissa tried on a sailor outfit. I'm pretty sure a sailor isn't a first responder in the traditional sense. The Marcheses' are the talk of the shopping trip. Melissa and the twins let Teresa know how Jim feels about them and there is much talk about how Amber is a liar and how Nicole is going to force Amber to apologize.
Dina and Nicole are still trying to be friends. I have to admit that I definitely didn't see this friendship lasting. I'm surprised that Dina wants anything to do with Nicole. Nicole thinks that Dina should get back out there, but Dina isn't feeling it. Nicole is being super pushy. She wants to set up Dina with some meathead that Bobby is friends with. Dina is understandably weary of being set up by anyone Nicole knows and starts talking about astronomy and Venus being in retrograde, so it's a bad time for her to date. Nicole has no idea what any of this means, and I'm pretty sure Dina is just spouting gibberish. It seems to work since Nicole tells Dina she will lay off the set up talk.
There is a lot of boring set up stuff party-wise. Dina can't figure out anything to wear. She's trying to find something out of her closet? For a costume party? The Giudice's and the Gorga's share a limo and there is more smack talking of the Marchese's. At Bobby's, Nicole is trying to tell herself that them hosting a party together means that she and Bobby are meant to be. At the Marchese's, Jim and Amber are blissfully ignorant of everything that is happening and that everyone basically hates their guts.
The party can basically be summed up in two ways: Before Amber and After Amber. Before Amber shows up, there is the normal, good natured mingling. Melissa doesn't know what SWAT stands for, Juicy Joe and Rosie are too cool for costumes, Nicole invited the meathead and is springing him on Dina despite her protests. Dina is super awkward with this guy. She immediately talks about her divorce and how long it has been since she went on a legit date. She is making it crazy obvious that she isn't interested and she's trying to scare this guy off. I'm surprised she doesn't just tell him she wants a baby right now.
After Amber shows up, the awkward meter goes off the charts. Amber's all, "Hey everyone." No one will look her in the eyes and eventually even one of the densest Housewives in history gets the picture that people are not happy with her. Nicole tells Amber she knows that Amber was spreading vicious lies about her. Amber handles this in the worst way possible by snapping at Nicole and trying to tell her what to do. I'm not sure what happens next. I just know that drinks start flying and then Nicole has a handful of Amber's hair and the famous hair flipper has Nicole's. There is some scrambling and finally the two ladies are pulled apart. Jim heads downstairs and drops a handful of Amber's hair in front of Bobby. Then, Rino starts in on Jim about not going bowling and how he sucks. Joey Gorga asks Jim for the real reason he didn't go to bowling night was because he is working for the state's attorney's office that is prosecuting the Giudice's. Now he's working with them? On this case or on other cases? Eh. I guess all that matters is that he called Joey G. a "dumb fuck" and now it looks like there will be another New Jersey Housewives brawl that Joey is involved in.
What did you guys think? Does anyone feel bad for Amber? Does anyone else miss the fiery, crazy, table flipping Teresa of the past? How are we feeling about the newbies? Let me know in the comments.
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