Sunday, September 28, 2014

The Real Housewives of New York City Recap: #RHONY Goes West

The Real Housewives of New York City, Episode 15: "Ten Gallon Spats"


When I was watching this episode, I had one question and it isn't the question that you would think.  It wasn't, why is Aviva faking asthma?  Why are they going to Montana in the first place?  Was this really Kristen's idea?  All of these are valid questions that deserve answering, but my main question was, do women really go and get waxed together.  I see that and I'm shocked.  When you go to get a bikini wax,  you are at your most vulnerable.  Do you really want to be that exposed in front of another person, no matter how close a friend you are?  And really, I guess I could understand it if it was someone you knew for years, but Carole and Heather barely know each other.  Wasn't there a better way for them to casually bring up Kristen's planned trip to Montana?  I guess not.


So, you heard it correctly, folks.  Kristen has decided to host her first trip for the ladies.  Why go someplace boring like the Hamptons or to a tropical island.  Kristen has decided to take the ladies to the magical, faraway land of Montana.  All these ladies are so agreeable, they are all super excited to go to Montana, right?

Aviva and Ramona meet up at a bathhouse to chit chat about the upcoming trip.  Was the I only one who was surprised that non-gay bathhouses exist?  This also seemed like a really weird place to meet. Ramona is not excited about Montana.  Listen you guys, Ramona is the worst.  She rolls her eyes, she only wants to do what she wants to do.  She thinks that she runs everything and that everyone should defer to her no matter what.  There is a big sense of entitlement.  All those things make her and her crazy eyes the most frustrating part of watching this show.  That being said, at least you always know where you stand with Ramona.  The fact that she is a loudmouth who just says whatever pops into her head basically guarantees that she is unable to hide her true feelings.  And, she does things she doesn't want to do.  I mean, she does them not because she cares about or wants to have any kind of real friendship with Kristen, she does them because she is on this show and it is her job.  I can sort of respect that.

The same can't be said for Aviva.  We all have friends or acquaintances like Aviva.  They are those friends who make plans and then don't come through.  They cancel at the last minute or make up some lame excuse as to why they can't do what they had previously committed to.  You know they are lying because for days leading up to cancelling, which they had planned to do from the start, they talk about how much they really want to go and how excited they are for it, and then it comes and you know it's coming.  The but.  The excuse.  The lie.  Aviva's lie aren't your normal get out of something lie.  It's not like, I have a family get together or a child's birthday.  Aviva goes big.  It's asthma.  Adult onset asthma that no one has heard of before.  But she's fun and she want to go, but her doctor's are advising her against it.  The altitude and the livestock may make it impossible. Ramona can barely keep the incredulity off of her face.

Ramona and Kristen meet up with Aviva to look at cowboy boots for the trip and it's there that Aviva breaks the news that she can't go.  How sad, but she wants to, but she can't.  Doctors and asthma and inhalers, oh my.  What happens next illustrates why I love Kristen.  She calls Aviva out.  She lets her know that she doesn't believe her.  That she is lying.  Aviva immediately flips out, "literally, opens her bag of crazy," (thanks for that, Kristen) and begins chucking inhalers and nebulizers at Kristen. Why does she have so many?  Does she think that the more she has the more real it will seem?  It's just the opposite though.  They just seem like props.  All Kristen can do is laugh, which is the only acceptable reaction.  What else can you do when someone is chucking probably fake medication at you.  Now, lest producers think that you they are biased against Aviva, there is a not at all staged scene where Reid reassures Aviva that she made the right decision not going.  I agree Reid.  I'm all for episodes minus your wife.

One last thing and then we don't have to mention Aviva for the next two recaps.  Why did Aviva have a wheelchair waiting for her at the Missoula airport?  Seriously.  I have plenty of friends with legit asthma, but they can all walk on their own power no matter what the altitude is.  All the ladies give this a rather large eye roll which is all it really deserves.

Kristen has booked the ladies cabins at an upscale dude ranch.  Who knew there was such a thing? There are two cabins that none of the ladies seem super impressed with at first, but at least, LuAnn, Heather and Carole are classy enough to keep their opinions to themselves.  Ramonja?  Not so much. The ladies break into two groups and Carole take one for the team and decides to bunk with Ramona and her minion.

The ladies go cattle herding first and it's fine, but a little boring.  There is a flashback to maybe Sonja's first season on the show when she wasn't totally crazy.  She got bucked off a horse.  I had totally forgotten about that.  Whatever.  They do it.  It goes fine.

Dinner that night is in a horse barn.  Which is odd.  I hate to agree with Ramona, but I'm not sure the smell of horse shit adds to an appetizing atmosphere, but it's rustic and it is part of the experience, so I get it and could probably go with it.  At dinner, talk turns to Sonja and her goddamn facialist.  Lu is still super pissed about the whole thing, because suddenly she and Sonja are supposed to be bosom buddies.  If anyone should be pissed it should be Carole, since this facialist insinuated that Sonja slept with her ex while they were together and Sonja did nothing to dissuade this notion, but Carole knows that Sonja likes that.  She likes gossip and she likes to be the subject of it.  If Lu and Sonja were really great friends, wouldn't Lu get that?  It really just seems like everything is being blown out of proportion here.  Lu disagrees and ends up storming off.

Great start to the trip, right?  Does anyone believe Aviva has asthma?  Would you be excited to go to Montana?  Seriously, though, what's up with the buddy waxing thing?  Let me know in the comments.

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