The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 3: "Trash Talking"
Joe Gorga is trying to kill his wife. How else to explain the fact that he would go behind Melissa's back and buy into some futuristic garbage truck thing. The amount of the money that he has invested in this truck thing is not known to Melissa, but it's definitely going to impact the building of their new house. Sorry Melissa. It looks like you'll be in your "small" rental for a while longer. Seriously, though. Melissa loves money. We all know this. I'm not sure what this truck thing does for sure. It's not a traditional garbage truck. Apparently, it's some sort of high tech shred truck. They get government contracts and take these documents and rather than shred them, they incinerate them down to ash. Joe seems confident about the money making prospects of this, but I'm not completely sold. Let's all take a minute to reflect that now that her feud with Teresa is resolved, her biggest storyline revolves around trash. Fitting. Thank goodness for Amber and her big mouth. More on that in a bit.
The Marcheses are still trying to play up this idea that they are this normal, American family. I'm pretty sure that myth was dispelled after that wacko fire drill last episode, they keep on keeping on. I mean, didn't your dad threaten you with 1000 push ups at the dinner table when you were 11? Jim owns his own mortgage company and he keeps production costs down by forcing his family to do commercials for him. Amber tries to keep everyone pumped and talks about some hair flip that is supposedly famous. Just because Jim tells you something is famous Amber, doesn't make it so.
Over at Chez Giudice, Teresa is desperately trying to keep her family afloat with a photo shoot for her new dessert line. We are also treated to some horrible parenting as Milania terrorizes the photographer and names him "butthole." I will say it is pretty funny to hear Milania say the word "butthole" over and over again, but like I mentioned in my last recap, she is treading that fine line between precocious and a terror. The photographer didn't seem amused at all. After this disastrous photo shoot, Teresa has invited some friends and family, including some of the ladies, over to her house for a tasting session for her new desserts. Shockingly, she didn't invite Kathy. Weird.
Amber and Melissa are carpooling over to the party. Amber is that one friend that we all have. She's not really anyone's friend at all. She's friends with the person that she is with at the time and everyone else is fair game. On the way to the party, she is badmouthing the twins. She's still upset that they invited way more people than she said she would. Oh, one more thing, Amber heard that when Nicole was married she was a cheater and she broke up a family. Do with that info what you will, Melissa.
Once the party commences, Amber asserts her position as center of attention by bringing up Teresa's legal issues. Not appropriate. I mean, I get that she is bringing it up in regards to how strong she is, but still... Then, it all comes back to Amber and her cancer. Funny how that goes. Dina and I are annoyed.
Everyone seems to want to get in good with the Giudices. I'm not sure why. Does being accused of fraud and various other things help you get friends. Is that how you influence people? Twin T has heard that Teresa is dumb as a doornail, but she'll still be friends with her. It's something they have in common. They'll be fast friends. Juicy doesn't do much to dispel the idea that they are morons when he accuses the twins of... not being twins. The twins, Bobby, and Rino love them though, they decide to have a boys bowling night with Rosie.
Bobby decides to extend an invite to Jim, but Jim declines because... he owns a mortgage company? Apparently, the fact that Jim owns a mortgage company and sometimes works with the DA on the same types of cases the Giudices are involved in stops him from going to a friendly bowling night with Juicy Joe, but it doesn't stop him from being on a reality show with him. Makes sense.
Amber continues to be crazy while out for dinner with Melissa. Amber seems determined to be friends with Melissa again. In one of her interviews she declares she's going to make Melissa her friend of the freaking year, but while at dinner she continues to browbeat Melissa about not reaching out to her when she had cancer. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually on Melissa's side here. If Amber wants to be friends with Melissa she needs to let this go. She can't though and she tries to one up Melissa. Oh yeah. You're a singer, Melissa? Well, I'm an actress. In low budget mortgage commercials that I'm only in because my husband owns the company.
The bowling party is a great time, but everyone is a little curious why Jim isn't there. Bobby doesn't want to throw his friend under the bus, so he makes up a lame excuse about how Jim thought that the Joes would brawl in the bowling alley. Bobby may have some talents, thinking on his feet is not one of them. Joey hits it on the head when he deems Jim a prick. Amen.
Dina is not getting much traction this season. It was a big deal she was coming back, but so far she hasn't had much to do. Lexi didn't get into NYU. Meh. She has Teresa over for a reading with her "psychic" James Van Praagh. Who says that Joe might be in trouble, but Teresa will probably be OK. Which one of the spirits told you that, James? Matt Lauer or Savannah Guthrie? Dina needs to step it up. I like her and her pithy one liners, but it's no wonder the producers keep asking her about Caroline.
Melissa goes shopping with the twins and it quickly turns in to a truth telling session. Bobby told Amber the real reason Jim didn't go bowling and once Melissa finds this out, it's all the incentive she needs to blab to Nicole what Amber told her. I'm sure that horrible dinner Melissa and Amber didn't help the situation. Once Nicole hears what Amber says, the twins decide that right now they have to confront her. It's a blur. I think one of the twins left the store without paying for the jeans they had on or they just bought them and wore them out. There is shrieking in the car. A stop for gas. Then when they get to the Marcheses they decide not to confront Amber then because they see a light on in one of the kids' rooms. Very anti-climactic. Very lame. Where else would the kids be? It's 9pm. Oh well. There's always Bobby's first responder party.
So, what do you guys think of these new girls after a few episodes? Is Amber a sociopath? Can you tell the twins apart? If Juicy gets deported will Rino and Rosie get their own bravotv.com spin off? Let me know.
The Marcheses are still trying to play up this idea that they are this normal, American family. I'm pretty sure that myth was dispelled after that wacko fire drill last episode, they keep on keeping on. I mean, didn't your dad threaten you with 1000 push ups at the dinner table when you were 11? Jim owns his own mortgage company and he keeps production costs down by forcing his family to do commercials for him. Amber tries to keep everyone pumped and talks about some hair flip that is supposedly famous. Just because Jim tells you something is famous Amber, doesn't make it so.
Over at Chez Giudice, Teresa is desperately trying to keep her family afloat with a photo shoot for her new dessert line. We are also treated to some horrible parenting as Milania terrorizes the photographer and names him "butthole." I will say it is pretty funny to hear Milania say the word "butthole" over and over again, but like I mentioned in my last recap, she is treading that fine line between precocious and a terror. The photographer didn't seem amused at all. After this disastrous photo shoot, Teresa has invited some friends and family, including some of the ladies, over to her house for a tasting session for her new desserts. Shockingly, she didn't invite Kathy. Weird.
Amber and Melissa are carpooling over to the party. Amber is that one friend that we all have. She's not really anyone's friend at all. She's friends with the person that she is with at the time and everyone else is fair game. On the way to the party, she is badmouthing the twins. She's still upset that they invited way more people than she said she would. Oh, one more thing, Amber heard that when Nicole was married she was a cheater and she broke up a family. Do with that info what you will, Melissa.
Once the party commences, Amber asserts her position as center of attention by bringing up Teresa's legal issues. Not appropriate. I mean, I get that she is bringing it up in regards to how strong she is, but still... Then, it all comes back to Amber and her cancer. Funny how that goes. Dina and I are annoyed.
Everyone seems to want to get in good with the Giudices. I'm not sure why. Does being accused of fraud and various other things help you get friends. Is that how you influence people? Twin T has heard that Teresa is dumb as a doornail, but she'll still be friends with her. It's something they have in common. They'll be fast friends. Juicy doesn't do much to dispel the idea that they are morons when he accuses the twins of... not being twins. The twins, Bobby, and Rino love them though, they decide to have a boys bowling night with Rosie.
Bobby decides to extend an invite to Jim, but Jim declines because... he owns a mortgage company? Apparently, the fact that Jim owns a mortgage company and sometimes works with the DA on the same types of cases the Giudices are involved in stops him from going to a friendly bowling night with Juicy Joe, but it doesn't stop him from being on a reality show with him. Makes sense.
Amber continues to be crazy while out for dinner with Melissa. Amber seems determined to be friends with Melissa again. In one of her interviews she declares she's going to make Melissa her friend of the freaking year, but while at dinner she continues to browbeat Melissa about not reaching out to her when she had cancer. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually on Melissa's side here. If Amber wants to be friends with Melissa she needs to let this go. She can't though and she tries to one up Melissa. Oh yeah. You're a singer, Melissa? Well, I'm an actress. In low budget mortgage commercials that I'm only in because my husband owns the company.
The bowling party is a great time, but everyone is a little curious why Jim isn't there. Bobby doesn't want to throw his friend under the bus, so he makes up a lame excuse about how Jim thought that the Joes would brawl in the bowling alley. Bobby may have some talents, thinking on his feet is not one of them. Joey hits it on the head when he deems Jim a prick. Amen.
Dina is not getting much traction this season. It was a big deal she was coming back, but so far she hasn't had much to do. Lexi didn't get into NYU. Meh. She has Teresa over for a reading with her "psychic" James Van Praagh. Who says that Joe might be in trouble, but Teresa will probably be OK. Which one of the spirits told you that, James? Matt Lauer or Savannah Guthrie? Dina needs to step it up. I like her and her pithy one liners, but it's no wonder the producers keep asking her about Caroline.
Melissa goes shopping with the twins and it quickly turns in to a truth telling session. Bobby told Amber the real reason Jim didn't go bowling and once Melissa finds this out, it's all the incentive she needs to blab to Nicole what Amber told her. I'm sure that horrible dinner Melissa and Amber didn't help the situation. Once Nicole hears what Amber says, the twins decide that right now they have to confront her. It's a blur. I think one of the twins left the store without paying for the jeans they had on or they just bought them and wore them out. There is shrieking in the car. A stop for gas. Then when they get to the Marcheses they decide not to confront Amber then because they see a light on in one of the kids' rooms. Very anti-climactic. Very lame. Where else would the kids be? It's 9pm. Oh well. There's always Bobby's first responder party.
So, what do you guys think of these new girls after a few episodes? Is Amber a sociopath? Can you tell the twins apart? If Juicy gets deported will Rino and Rosie get their own bravotv.com spin off? Let me know.
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