Wednesday, September 3, 2014

The Real Housewives of New York City Recap: Lies My Facialist Told Me

The Real Housewives of New York City, Episode 14: "Sex, Lies and Facials"


This episode finally answered the age old question that all NYC Housewives fans have been asking for two years.  Whatever happened to season(s) 2-4 cast member Kelly Killoren Bensimon.  It turns out that she is basically the same person.  She is still kind of a nut ball.  I guess she is still friend with Lu since Lu invited her to be a special guest model at her charity fashion show.  Carole seemed to enjoy Kelly, but that isn't a huge surprise.  Carole is sort of this cultural anthropologist and I think she really digs talking to Kelly, who used to be a part of this experience and now isn't, but is sort of a sister, in a weird way.  Maybe I'm being too deep about the whole thing.  Ramona just looks annoyed and steers clear of her former cast mate.  Maybe she is having flashbacks to scary island.  I kind of am.


This episode finally answered the age old question that all NYC Housewives fans have been asking for two years.  Whatever happened to season(s) 2-4 cast member Kelly Killoren Bensimon.  It turns out that she is basically the same person.  She is still kind of a nut ball.  I guess she is still friend with Lu since Lu invited her to be a special guest model at her charity fashion show.  Carole seemed to enjoy Kelly, but that isn't a huge surprise.  Carole is sort of this cultural anthropologist and I think she really digs talking to Kelly, who used to be a part of this experience and now isn't, but is sort of a sister, in a weird way.  Maybe I'm being too deep about the whole thing.  Ramona just looks annoyed and steers clear of her former cast mate.  Maybe she is having flashbacks to scary island.  I kind of am.


So let's dispense with the Sonja drama from the end of the last episode.  Like all good drunks, Sonja stomps out to the waiting car with her bags, mumbling things, but once she gets outside, she realizes that the Hamptons are aways away.  She already has more than a good buzz going.  She decides that she's going to forgive, forget and get more drunk.  She heads into Saratoga with the ladies for some seriously embarrassing bar hopping.  She is dancing with strangers, pawing at the other women, it is a disgusting skeptical.  It's Sonja.

The ladies head back to the city and all attend LuAnn's charity fashion show which is for cancer and is also being co-sponsored by a website.  Aviva actually shows up, but she's not really interested in the show so much, she's more interested in the former Miss USA who shows up.  As soon as she sees her, she asks Heather if she can text her something.  I'm shocked and so is Heather, but Heather agrees.  As soon as she reads the text, she asks Aviva if she can show the other women at the table.  Aviva agrees and Heather passes it around.  Apparently, Aviva is claiming that the former Miss USA stayed the night at her apartment and had a three way with George and Cody.  Wha?

This is just another example of Aviva trying to be provocative.  She thinks that is a way to bond her to the other ladies, but she doesn't realize that if they don't like her, telling salacious stories about a threeway her DAD had is not going to endear her to them.  And it doesn't.  Lu is completely disgusted that Aviva would even bring it up at her charity event.  Ramona isn't buying a word of it and she actually brings it up to Miss USA.  How awkward.  A woman over 50 approaching you at a charity event about group sex with another woman's octogenarian father.  She claims she left Aviva's apartment and didn't spend the night and I, like Ramona, am inclined to believe her.

Kristen heads over to Sonja's for a facial.  Pickles is there, but is Sonja?  Nope.  And Pickles has no idea where she is.  Not a good sign.  Sonja finally shows up doing the walk of shame.  Who knows who she was with.  I wouldn't be surprised if she staged the whole thing.  This is Sonja that we're talking about here.  Sonja's facialist is a nutcase.  She launches into these salacious stories about the other women.  As per usual, LuAnn gets hit the hardest.  The facialist claims that Lu likes to dominate short French men and that Sonja slept with Carole's ex-boyfriend, Russ, while they were still together. Kristen sort of takes this as it should be taken as a ridiculous lie.  She just laughs it off and immediately tells Lu and Carole.  Carole is upset, but examines the source.  Sonja and a nameless, I mean, I'm sure she has a name, but I don't care to learn it, facialist who is just gossiping because that's what she does.  Lu flips her shit.  Her reaction is so broad and over the top that it makes you wonder if there is some truth to what the facialist said.

We end the episode at Aviva's townhome, where... something is happening.  It sounds like she is having an art show at first, but it turns out that she is thinking of purchasing some of this art and she has invited some people over to get their opinions on it?  Is that something people do?  I guess so.  Lu is invited because Aviva is thinking about purchasing one of Lu's daughters pieces.  Lu decides to chat with Aviva about what went down at her charity event and it goes downhill pretty quickly.  Lu brings up the inappropriateness of it all and Aviva tries to blame Heather for showing everyone at the table. Heather is there though, so she puts the kibosh on that right away.  Aviva then tries to bring up Lu's daughters art that maybe has a sexual connotation to it, but this argument doesn't really hold water.  By the end of the argument, Aviva has alienated one more of the women.  Well done, Aviva.

What did  you guys think?  Was Aviva completely out of line?  Do you think Ramona really likes Aviva? Should Lu be as upset with the facialist as she is?  Let me know in the comments.

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