The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 5: "Everything's Coming Up Rosie"
A couple of genuinely shocking things happened on this episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Two people had a confrontation, there was screaming, pounding on the table, disgusted looks from the other people in the bar, accusations hurled, but at the end they were smiling and there seemed to be a genuine reconciliation. I had to check to make sure I hadn't accidentally hit the remote or something. Nope. This was a RHONJ episode. Coupled with the fact that Teresa actually called Caroline for advice earlier in the episode, this came way too close to functional for me.
Earlier in the episode, Caroline, Kathy and Jacqueline are at some benefit auction thing and the talk is of course about the Gorga/Giudice family feud. I mean, why wouldn't it be. There is nothing more exciting or explosive in Jersey right now. Conveniently, Caroline's phone rings and it's Teresa! So, after one drink, which seemed pretty disatrous, Caroline has become Teresa's go to advice person when it comes to her brother troubles? Um... OK. Sure. I'll let it slide. Teresa recounts their gym altercation, and it's pretty hilarious to see Caroline's eyes get bigger and bigger as Teresa gives her the play by play. She also tells Caroline about some hollistic healing retreat that she wants to take Joe to, so they can try and mend their relationship. Caroline offers some platitudes and ends the call, vowing to stay out of the Gorga/Giudice family drama from now on. This may be the best decision that Caroline has made in the entire run of the series.
The producers have been highlighting the extreme dysfunction of the Giudices/Gorgas by juxtaposing scenes of them fighting and talking shit about each other with scenes of the Manzos basically being the Waltons. Well, if the Waltons talked openly about how fat chicks were "blowjob queens." I feel like it's a little unnecessary and bordering on overkill. We get it. The Manzos are the perfect family, while the Gorgas are coming apart at the seams. Enough, already.
Kathy and Rich are really making me sad and depressed. You could always count on them to bring some lighthearted moments, but not this season. This season everyone has to be sad and have terrible things happening to them. Kathy is still working on getting her dessert business off the ground. It is her business, but Rich wants to make all the decisions. He goes out and buys her or rents her a test kitchen. Now, Kathy's reaction is not super pleased. I know a lot of people are probably thinking if your husband buys you a test kitchen for your business you should be appreciative, but look at it from Kathy's perspective. This seems to be the first thing that is just hers. She's supported Rich, her kids are getting older, and she is trying to use the Housewives platform to get a business going. It's great that Rich wants to support her, but he seems to be just taking over. Before the test kitchen, he got boxes that Kathy didn't want and just sort of walked all over her feelings about it. It was hard to watch Kathy's confessional where she kind of broke down. So, I don't think that it's like Kathy doesn't appreciate the gesture, but she wanted to be included in it. She wants her input to be recognized, since she is the one who is going to be doing the cooking. So, in a nutshell, Rich needs to pull his head out of his ass.
Melissa is writing a book, you guys. Did you know that Melissa is writing a book? I just want you to know that Melissa is writing a book about her hot and sexy marriage and you should know, if you don't know. She wants to include some stories about her dead father's infidelity in the book, but she wants to make sure that her mom and sisters are cool with it before she does. So, if she thinks that they may have problems with it, why not talk to them about it on camera. Makes sense to me. She brings her sisters over and tells them about this amazing book, that she is so excited about it, and how it's going to be so great and she really wants to include these stories, but she won't if they have a problem with it. I mean, she really wants to and it may ruin the book if they aren't included, but if her mom and sisters have any issues she won't do it. She was basically putting them in a no-win situation. You can tell by the looks on their faces that they aren't too thrilled about all this, but Melissa is in Melissa Land and she really doesn't care, despite the words that are coming out of her mouth. Between this and Melissa's confession that she sent the bankruptcy tweet about Teresa, this was not her shining episode. I do like Melissa and I have been "Team Melissa", but if she keeps this up, allegiances could switch up.
Jacqueline countnue to struggle with Nicholas' autism diagonisis. I feel for Jacqueline. It can't be easy having an autistic child and struggling with that. I think that Jacqueline hasn't really accepted it. I think she thinks that Nick will snap out of it at some point and just be "normal." I think the sooner that she really comes to terms with the fact that this may be her reality for the rest of her life, the happier she'll be. I'm afraid that Jacqueline is cracking up and if previews for next week's episode are any indication, I may be right.
Oh Teresa. Watching you hunt and peck to try to prove that you write your own blogs was the funniest thing I have seen all season. I am sure that everyone who doubted you is now a Tre believer. I seriously would love a shot of this every episode. It should like open or end it. Tre's Thoughts, Until Her Ghost Writer Shows Up. This brings us to the major part of the episode. What we've all been waiting for. Rosie and Teresa's face to face. It started out benignly enough, with the cousins exchanging pleasantries. It didn't take long for Rosie to mention Kathy and all Hell to break loose. Rosie's eyes were bulging, she was pounding on the table so hard she did something to it. The gist is that everyone blames everyone for everything. Teresa did that thing where her voice gets so high only dogs can hear. Their parents should reconcile before they die and then all of a sudden, it was over. Everyone called down and things seemed to be copacetic between the cousins. Teresa broached the topic of the hollistic retreat to Rosie, who is on board. It seems that Rosie is really invested in getting Kathy and Tre back on good terms. Everyone knows that this retreat is going to be a mess though, right? I mean, how could it not be?
So, what did you guys think? Are the Manzos too warm and fuzzy? Can Melissa get any more ridiculous about her book? Can the Wakiles get their act together? Were you swayed by Teresa's typing prowess? Surprised the fight ended so abruptly? Hit me up in the comments.
Earlier in the episode, Caroline, Kathy and Jacqueline are at some benefit auction thing and the talk is of course about the Gorga/Giudice family feud. I mean, why wouldn't it be. There is nothing more exciting or explosive in Jersey right now. Conveniently, Caroline's phone rings and it's Teresa! So, after one drink, which seemed pretty disatrous, Caroline has become Teresa's go to advice person when it comes to her brother troubles? Um... OK. Sure. I'll let it slide. Teresa recounts their gym altercation, and it's pretty hilarious to see Caroline's eyes get bigger and bigger as Teresa gives her the play by play. She also tells Caroline about some hollistic healing retreat that she wants to take Joe to, so they can try and mend their relationship. Caroline offers some platitudes and ends the call, vowing to stay out of the Gorga/Giudice family drama from now on. This may be the best decision that Caroline has made in the entire run of the series.
The producers have been highlighting the extreme dysfunction of the Giudices/Gorgas by juxtaposing scenes of them fighting and talking shit about each other with scenes of the Manzos basically being the Waltons. Well, if the Waltons talked openly about how fat chicks were "blowjob queens." I feel like it's a little unnecessary and bordering on overkill. We get it. The Manzos are the perfect family, while the Gorgas are coming apart at the seams. Enough, already.
Kathy and Rich are really making me sad and depressed. You could always count on them to bring some lighthearted moments, but not this season. This season everyone has to be sad and have terrible things happening to them. Kathy is still working on getting her dessert business off the ground. It is her business, but Rich wants to make all the decisions. He goes out and buys her or rents her a test kitchen. Now, Kathy's reaction is not super pleased. I know a lot of people are probably thinking if your husband buys you a test kitchen for your business you should be appreciative, but look at it from Kathy's perspective. This seems to be the first thing that is just hers. She's supported Rich, her kids are getting older, and she is trying to use the Housewives platform to get a business going. It's great that Rich wants to support her, but he seems to be just taking over. Before the test kitchen, he got boxes that Kathy didn't want and just sort of walked all over her feelings about it. It was hard to watch Kathy's confessional where she kind of broke down. So, I don't think that it's like Kathy doesn't appreciate the gesture, but she wanted to be included in it. She wants her input to be recognized, since she is the one who is going to be doing the cooking. So, in a nutshell, Rich needs to pull his head out of his ass.
Melissa is writing a book, you guys. Did you know that Melissa is writing a book? I just want you to know that Melissa is writing a book about her hot and sexy marriage and you should know, if you don't know. She wants to include some stories about her dead father's infidelity in the book, but she wants to make sure that her mom and sisters are cool with it before she does. So, if she thinks that they may have problems with it, why not talk to them about it on camera. Makes sense to me. She brings her sisters over and tells them about this amazing book, that she is so excited about it, and how it's going to be so great and she really wants to include these stories, but she won't if they have a problem with it. I mean, she really wants to and it may ruin the book if they aren't included, but if her mom and sisters have any issues she won't do it. She was basically putting them in a no-win situation. You can tell by the looks on their faces that they aren't too thrilled about all this, but Melissa is in Melissa Land and she really doesn't care, despite the words that are coming out of her mouth. Between this and Melissa's confession that she sent the bankruptcy tweet about Teresa, this was not her shining episode. I do like Melissa and I have been "Team Melissa", but if she keeps this up, allegiances could switch up.
Jacqueline countnue to struggle with Nicholas' autism diagonisis. I feel for Jacqueline. It can't be easy having an autistic child and struggling with that. I think that Jacqueline hasn't really accepted it. I think she thinks that Nick will snap out of it at some point and just be "normal." I think the sooner that she really comes to terms with the fact that this may be her reality for the rest of her life, the happier she'll be. I'm afraid that Jacqueline is cracking up and if previews for next week's episode are any indication, I may be right.
Oh Teresa. Watching you hunt and peck to try to prove that you write your own blogs was the funniest thing I have seen all season. I am sure that everyone who doubted you is now a Tre believer. I seriously would love a shot of this every episode. It should like open or end it. Tre's Thoughts, Until Her Ghost Writer Shows Up. This brings us to the major part of the episode. What we've all been waiting for. Rosie and Teresa's face to face. It started out benignly enough, with the cousins exchanging pleasantries. It didn't take long for Rosie to mention Kathy and all Hell to break loose. Rosie's eyes were bulging, she was pounding on the table so hard she did something to it. The gist is that everyone blames everyone for everything. Teresa did that thing where her voice gets so high only dogs can hear. Their parents should reconcile before they die and then all of a sudden, it was over. Everyone called down and things seemed to be copacetic between the cousins. Teresa broached the topic of the hollistic retreat to Rosie, who is on board. It seems that Rosie is really invested in getting Kathy and Tre back on good terms. Everyone knows that this retreat is going to be a mess though, right? I mean, how could it not be?
So, what did you guys think? Are the Manzos too warm and fuzzy? Can Melissa get any more ridiculous about her book? Can the Wakiles get their act together? Were you swayed by Teresa's typing prowess? Surprised the fight ended so abruptly? Hit me up in the comments.
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