The Real Housewives of Miami, Episode 8: "Mama Elsa Comes Home"
It's been 8 episodes and the star of the show has finally arrived. Mama Elsa is finally out of the hospital, back at home and back in front of the cameras. We all know that part of the reason that Marysol is still on the show and that the show is still on is because of Mama Elsa. She may have a face that only Marysol could love and that scares small children, but she is a hoot. She is full of life and some of the best moments of the show have been Elsa keeping with ladies half her age. Her appearance on this episode made me smile, but it also made me a little sad. Oh yeah, other stuff happened too. Hit the jump to find out more.
So, Frederic and Romain have came together and decided that it is time for Joanna and Adriana to end their ridiculous feud. So, the two couples decide to meet for lunch. Joanna and Romain are kept waiting for the perpetually tardy Adriana who shows up wearing her sunglasses and leather shorts. Seriously. Leather. Shorts. I'm sure he son loves those. The meeting goes just like you would think it would. Joanna and Adriana keep bringing up the same old shit. If I have to hear about the slap one more time, I swear to God. Adriana tries bringing up Lea, finally the men take control. It seems like the ladies have stuck a fork in their feud, but we'll see how long that lasts.
So, Lisa is on the show and her "storyline" is still pretty terrible. She forced Lenny to get lipo and now he is bleeding all over the bed, while she pushes and pokes and prods the lipo area. That's it. That is all she had going for her in the entire episode. It was gross and awful and pretty much Lisa to a T.
The other boring part of the episode was Adriana and Frederic going to pre-marriage counseling or something like that. I will say that Adriana was damn hot back in the day. Otherwise, I couldn't have cared less about what was happening. This episode also showcased Adriana's lame-o batchelorette party. Marysol was obviously out of her depth on this one. No strippers. Lingerie hanging from the ceiling. The best (?) thing about the whole thing was when Adriana burned her old wedding dress and shouted these weird sayings or affirmations or something. I half expected the other ladies to pull out a cauldron or something.
Joanna and Romain continued to try to have an actual sex life with mixed results. Romain finally goes with Joanna to the sex therapist who suggests they do some roleplaying. So, Joanna meetes Romain at a bar disguised as a bitchy, domineering, ballerina. Way to stretch those acting chops, Jo. This all leads to a super awkward, not at all sexy get together in a hotel room. On the plus side, judging from that bulge, Joanna is a lucky, lucky lady. No wonder she wants it all the time.
Alexia still wants her terrible psychiatrist mother to help Peter. So, they go to dinner. Peter continues to be a whiny wannabe gangster bithch boy. He thinks his dad is a winner, but he's not. He's a giant loser. Get with the program, Pete. It seems even Grams is not feeling him. She actually sticks up for Alexia. The Cuban Barbie attempts to take matters into her own hands, taking Peter to a baseball field where he used to play Little League. Peter just stands there like a jackass while Alexia pours her heart out. Stop being a dick, Peter. You have a good mom, who loves you. Respect her for chrissakes.
It's a big episode for Marysol. She is getting Mama Elsa's house ready for her to come home. She smudges the house with sage. Alexia comes over to… help? Watch? Get more screen time? Who knows? We also got to meet Marysol's dad, Mr. Patton. I was shocked to see this guy. I just assumed that Marysol was conceived immaculately by one of Elsa's spirits, or maybe Elsa molded her out of Florida sand like Wonder Woman. It was cool to see some pictures of Mama Elsa when she was younger. She was quite the fox. It makes that mess of a face she has now even sadder.
The scenes with Mama Elsa and Marysol were a touch bittersweet. It was nice to see Mama Elsa back home, but you could tell she was disoriented and not her old self. I appreciated Marysol trying to lighten the mood. I LOL'ed when Marysol asked if Elsa was making a face at her. The look on Mama Elsa's face, who me? was priceless. Here's to you, lady. If this show continues, you are sorely needed.
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