Thursday, July 10, 2014

The Real Housewives of New York City Recap: Ramonavention

The Real Housewives of New York City, Episode 11: "The Ramona Trap"


Bravo is holding out on us.  When we left the ladies in the Berkshires, they were having dinner and high fiving as they planned their revenge against Ramona.  The next morning, the ladies stumbling around Heather's kitchen paints a picture of a night of debauchery, that we missed!  What the hell, Bravo?  I want to know what led to Sonja's disheveled appearance, losing earrings down her nightgown.  Lu looking hella rough.  No makeup is not a good look for the Countess, especially if she is trying to shake that "LuMan" nickname.  Then, Patrick, the yoga guy, shows up and none of the women even pretend to do any of the poses.  Carole is annoyed because while she doesn't really want to do yoga, she does enjoy the peace and quiet that comes with it.  It's hard to be zen when Sonja's gas is wilting the grass.  I'm just hoping that when they air the unseen footage episode after the reunion that these scenes are included.  I have to know what happened.  Did the women stumble across a wooden rave, did they eat weird mushrooms.  Inquiring minds, Andy Cohen!


The yoga basically ends the ladies time in the Berkshires and they all head back to civilization.  For Carole, that means she's back to writing.  She is working on an etiquette column for Town & Country and she needs some help.  She only has one sentence.  Don't get me wrong, it's a bang up first sentence, but that does not a column make.  So, she calls on the Empress of Etiquette herself, the Countess.  We all know how much Lu loves flattery and to be included, so she scurries over to meet Carole to give out some advice.  In between dispensing tips on what gifts to bring to a dinner party, Lu lets Carole know that she is going to set her up with someone.  Carole is all about dating adventures so she is down.

It's time for the Ramoavention.  The ladies have a plan.  Sort of.  They are going to box her in and then let their grievances be heard.  Lu decides to embrace her mannishness and sit next to Ramona to box her in.  She even compares herself to a linebacker!  She officially can't get mad about the "LuMan" think anymore.  She's owning it.  Good for her.

Ramona has been doing this for too long.  She smells a rat from the jump.  Ramona doesn't care about any of this business.  As soon as the women bring up Ramona's behavior in the Berkshires, she goes full Ramona.  Eyes popping.  Yelling.  Pretending to cry.  Trying to muscle her way out of the booth, but Lu isn't backing down.  All Sonja cares about is that she and Ben are broken up and it's Ramona's fault she is no longer getting that 23-year-old D.  She is shaking she is so angry about it.  I feel ya, Sonja.  Now all you're left with is Aviva's sloppy seconds.  I'd be shaking with rage, too.

Ramona fianlly calms down enough to abide by the golden rule.  If you don't agree with someone and you want something to stop just tell the people what they want to hear.  Ramona does this and it works like a charm.  She tells the ladies that she was wrong and maybe she should go to therapy.  Longtime viewers of the show know this is bullshit and Ramona confirms it in her interview and later on when she is relaying the incident to Mario.  So, good try girls, but better luck next time.

We get some more scenes from Kristen's maybe terrible marriage.  She finally convinces Josh to show up for Kingsley's therapy (she's not walking, remember) and he's there, but not there.  Not engaged at all.  He's on the phone, responding to e-mails, giving cursory attention to what is happening.  Kristen is pissed and they go at it afterwards.  Kristen doesn't understand why Josh makes plans to be there if he isn't going to be there.  Josh falls back on the typical male argument, especially if the woman stays home.  I'm not home because there's no food on the table waiting for me.  For reals, Josh?  Has Kristen ever cooked you dinner on the regular?  It doesn't seem like it, so this whole confrontation leaves me pretty cold to Josh.  Well, cold-er.  He's always came off as a giant douchebag.

Jacque and Lu have their double/blind date with Carole and Nick.  Carole is in full ramble mode.  I'm not sure if this is because she does like Nick and she's nervous, or if it's just an act, so she has something to write about.  She ends up talking about Google'ing Nick, masturbation, faking orgasms, all things I'm pretty sure you avoid on a first date.  I'm surprised she didn't bring up marriage and how Nick felt about kids.  I'm not sure if a second date is in the cards.

Kristen and Ramona meet for tea, presumably so Ramona can genuinely (or, as genuinely as she can) apologize for the glass throwing incident.  She gives flowers, there is one of the most awkward hugs I've ever seen, and then Ramona mumbles through an apology.  It's obvious that Kristen doesn't buy this, but I think she knows this is as close as it's going to get, so he grudgingly accepts.  When she tries to confront Ramona about the reasons behind the glass throwing, like maybe Ramona Pinot drinks too much, Ramona starts laughing.  That's when Kristen decides it's time to leave.  That went well?

What did you guys think?  Were you curious what Sonja's dinner party was all about?  Talk about an eclectic guest list.  Will Ramona ever change?  Do we really want her to?  Let me know in the comments.

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