Sunday, July 13, 2014

The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Rich White Ladies Fightin'

The Real Housewives of Orange County, Episode 7: "Choke-Lahoma"


Shannon Beador joining the cast this season has kind of been a gift for producers.  They have finally found someone that really gets under Heather Dubrow's skin.  Heather is normally unflappable, but you can tell there is something about Shannon that really irritates Heather and she has a hard time keeping her cool.  Shannon and Heather should be the best of friends.  They are in the same category financially, they are neighbors, they're lifestyles seem similar.  I mean, look how Bravo kept cutting back and forth between the Dubrows and the Beadors taking their annual Christmas photos, but beyond those minor and inconsequential similarities, Heather and Shannon are just intrinsically different at the personality level.  Shannon is a fancy pants.  She is well spoken and proper grammar is important to her.  She can go out and not get blotto and still have a fine time.  Shannon likes to drink, has a tumltuous relationship with her parents and is like Vicki, if Vicki had been born with money.  They are diametrically opposed to each other and I can't envision any scenario where they would ever be friends.


Ryan and Tamra's weird and inappropriate mother/son relationship is put into focus in this episode.  Tamra wants to stop the aging process so she is going to see some quack -- er, doctor-- who is going to help her out with that.  During this convo, Ryan calmly drops that he is taking HGH, human growth hormone.  It's fine though.  He's buying it from people in the parking lot at the gym.  They have to know quality HGH.  It's no big deal.  Is he buying it from the parking lot at CUT?  That's awesome, not only is your kid buying dangerous, illegal drugs, but he's doing it in the parking lot of the gym he manages and that you own?  Awesome.  Seriously though guys, this back room HGH is totally safe.  Ryan checks the serial numbers.

Tamra ends up taking Ryan with her when she goes to see the aging doctor and totally busts him out on his illegal drug use.  The doctor convinces Ryan to take a blood test and he is a huge puss about it.  Really, dude?  You don't bat an eye when you're downing illegal supplements that will probably kill you, but this makes you freak out?  Priorities.  Oh and Tamra is taking testoserone or something to look young.  

Lizzie and Heather meet up at the park for a play date.  I really hope that this Heather/Lizzie friendship takes root.  I think it would be interesting to watch.  It's obvious that Lizzie really looks up to Heather and you know that Heather would love a lackey protege.  Lizzie is looking for advice on how to handle Vicki, but Heather really isn't interested in that.  She would rather re-hash her issues with Shannon.  First lesson in being a lackey protege Lizzie: Don't bore the boss your mentor with your problems.

It's Vicki in Oklahoma everyone and it goes about as well as you can expect.  Vicki hates everything about Oklahoma.  She hates the people.  She hates the food.  NO LAMB TESTICLES!  She even assaults a random bus boy who happens to wander by.  She hates the weather.  Well, OK, I can get on board with hating a place where death by tornado is a very real fear.  I'm not sure why Brianna wanted Vicki to come along.  Maybe she thought that once Vicki saw this she would get on board?  That is not what happens.  She hates every house that they go look at.  She can't stop trying to convince them not to move, even while she is eating, so she almost chokes.  Was it just me or did there seem like there was a lot of hesitation before Brianna tried to help her mom?  Could this have played out differently if there were no cameras around?  

Is every episode this season going to end up with some one on one confronation with two of the women over food/tea/drinks.  Shannon and Heather are the next in line.  Shannon feels like Heather talks down to her and is condescending.  She also feels like she never got "scary angry."  Heather tries to give her side, explain about perception.  Shannon feels like she is turning things around on her.  That is one of my biggest pet peeves.  Just because you are defending yourself or giving your side of something doesn't mean that you "are turning things around."  The ladies eventually decide that if they have a problem with one another, they will talk about it with each other right away.  That always works.

So, what did you guys think?  Whose side are you on?  Is Vicki's hatred of Oklahoma justified?  Let me know in the comments.

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