Happy Birthday, Tori Amos

Today is Tori Amos' 50th birthday.  She is a musical icon and probably my favorite musical artist of all time.  Tori is so many things to so many people.  She is an amazing piano player, singer/songwriter, feminist, champion of women, wife, mother.  She is an icon.  Since releasing her groundbreaking breakthrough album, Little Earthquakes, in 1992, Tori has released 13 albums, along with countless bootlegs and B-sides.  Tori isn't just a musical artist who loves her fans and her songs.  She is an activist.  She has been heavily involved with and a spokesperson for RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, since it's inception in 1994.  She made the ceremonial first call to the hotline.  Being a survivor of sexual abuse herself, Tori has always been candid about the experience.  Using it to help other victims find peace and rebuild themselves after their own horrific experiences with sexual assault.  The a capella, heart wrenching, "Me & A Gun," recounts the experience and the thoughts that were going through Tori's head as she was being assaulted.  It is harrowing and heartfelt and perhaps one of the biggest pieces of evidence that Tori is one of the greatest songwriters of all time.

I'm sort of a latecomer to Tori Amos fandom.  I really discovered her through my boyfriend and the past three years have been an awesome journey of combing through Tori's huge catalog and discovering these amazing songs, each one touching me and hitting me someplace different.  Since I became a fan so late, I, selfishly, hope that she keeps on making music for 50 more years.

If you have never listened to Tori before, I highly encourage you to check her out.  If you are a fan of Alanis Morrissette or Jewel or Fiona Apple, you will find that they wouldn't even exist without Tori.  I truly believe there is something for everyone.  Below, you'll find my picks for my favorite Tori songs from each of her albums via a live clip.  There is nothing like watching Tori perform live, whether it's with her band or just her and her Bosendorfer.  It was a tough thing to do, but I'm pleased with my picks.  Give a listen to each and feel free to hit the comments to tell me about your memories of Tori, how she's affected your life, or just to wish her a happy birthday.

Little Earthquakes

For my pick for her first album, I went with the obvious, "Silent All These Years."  There is something about this song that gets me every time.  It also features some of my favorite Tori lyrics like, "I've got the AntiChrist in the kitchen yelling at me again."  Brilliant.

Under the Pink

Tori's sophomore set contains some classic Tori songs like "The Waitress" and "Cornflake Girl."  While those are great songs, my favorite is "Past the Mission" which features Nine Inch Nails', Trent Reznor, on background vocals.

Boys for Pele

This is the album that most Tori fans, myself included, believe is her best.  Every song sort of hits you in the gut, whether it's a song about a pretty girl who maybe killed herself or talking to the devil himself.  The latter is my favorite song from this record, "Father Lucifer."

From the Choirgirl Hotel

Tori's fourth album is the album where she plugged in and went mainstream, sort of.  It is her most commercially successful album to date and if you want to give your friends who haven't heard Tori an album to start with, this is definitely the one that I would give them.  My favorite song on "Choirgirl" is a song about a mother who will do anything to protect her daughter called "Playboy Mommy."

To Venus and Back

This was a double album that contained a disc of live renditions of some of Tori's biggest hits and some popular B-sides.  It took me a minute to warm up to this CD, but now I love it, especially the sparse, piano ballad, "Josephine."

Strange Little Girls

This was an album that Tori released to fulfill her contractual obligations to Atlantic Records.  Rather than release a generic greatest hits compilation, Tori released a cover album of songs written by men about women and performed them from the womans perspective.  The most famous song from this collection is her version of Eminem's "97 Bonnie & Clyde", sung from the perspective of the woman in the trunk of the car.  My favorite song from the album is Tori's cover of Lloyd Cole's, "Rattlesnakes."

Scarlet's Walk

This was Tori's first album after 9/11.  She took listeners on a lyrical journey across the United States.  This album contains Tori's most well known single by the general public, "A Sorta Fairytale."  My favorite song on the album is the opener, a song about a woman seduced by the world of pornography in "Amber Waves."

The Beekeeper

This album put Tori in a group of women that includes Madonna and Barbra Streisand, women who had scored five or more albums in the top 10.  It also includes one of my all time favorite Tori songs, "Sweet the Sting."

American Doll Posse

This was a concept album where Tori played different female characters all representing different archetypes.  There were also songs protesting the ongoing war in Iraq and the presidency of George W. Bush.  I love the song "Big Wheel" and I especially love this live performance with an introduction by Quentin Tarantino.

Abnormally Attracted to Sin

After a string of high concept albums, Tori went back to basics with this collection of songs.  It is not a favorite of a lot of fans and does suffer a little bit from being overly long,  but it does contain some great songs, like my favorite, "Fast Horse."

Midwinter Graces

The same year she released AATS, Tori released her first ever collection of holiday songs.  There were new tracks along with re-interpretations of classic Carols, including my favorite, "Star of Wonder."

Night of Hunters

For her most recent studio album of original material, Tori linked up with classical record label, Deutsche Grammophone, to record a 21st century song cycle.  An ambitious project to be sure, Night of Hunters, follows a woman who leaves her relationship and encounters various creatures that help her on her journey.  Tori re-worked classical compositions into her original songs, really showcasing her musical abilities.  She was joined on the record by her niece and her daughter, Tash.  Here's my favorite track from Tori's best album since Scarlet's Walk, album opener, "Shattering Sea."

Gold Dust

This was Tori's most recent album.  A celebration of the twentieth anniversary of her debut, Tori re-worked some of her songs with an orchestra.  The result is familiar yet different, thrilling and gorgeous. Here is the single from the album, "Flavor."

So, thanks for reading and watching and hopefully, enjoying.  Don't forge to leave some comments and  birthday wishes!

Divas of the Fall: Part IV

Lady GaGa and Katy Perry have been relatively in sync when it comes to their respective new albums. They both made the announcements relatively close together, GaGa was forced to release her new single early after it leaked, they both released their lyric videos around the same time.  Finally, GaGa got ahead of her fellow pop star.  On Monday, she unleashed the video for "Applause" on an unsuspecting world.

I think that we can all agree that the videos from the "Born This Way" era were rather lackluster.  It seems the time away from the spotlight has helped GaGa refocus, because "Applause" is her best video since "Telephone."  While it doesn't reach the heights of "Paparazzi" or "Bad Romance" there is still a lot to love in Mother Monster's feast for the eyes.  Those bras!  The hand bra totally had me fooled at first.  GaGa emerging from a top hat.  The monster make-up in the cage.  GaGa's head on a black swan.  Some of the most intricate choreography I've seen GaGa do.  The Boticelli-esque clamshell bikini.  It is the best kind of video.  The kind that magnifies a song and makes it a little bit greater.  What did you guys think of the video for "Applause?"  Give it a watch and let me know in the comments.

The Real Housewives of Miami Season Premiere Recap: Only in Miami

The Real Housewives of Miami, Episode 1: "Til Lies Do Us Part"

Summer may be winding down, but Bravo is attempting to turn up the heat by taking us back to the neon colored beaches of Miami.  They've trimmed down the cast (Smile, Karent!, See ya in the kitchen, Ana), but amped up the drama.  Mortal enemies, Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa, are both getting married, so you know it's only a matter of time before lines in the sand are drawn and sides are chosen. If this episode and the preview for the rest of the season are any indication, sides have already been chosen.  I'm not sure why more people to don't watch this iteration of the franchise.  I mean, that montage of the women getting ready, Alexia's bedazzled hand mirror with the "A" on the back.  It is so over the top and delicious and this looks like it might be the best season yet.  So, let's check in with the Mamis of Miami and catch up.

Adriana:  Sorry every other cast member, but we all know that the reason people tune in is because of Adriana.  Adriana knows what people want and she strives to give it to them.  I'm almost convinced that she knew she was going to be a reality star five years ago and that is why she never annulled her quickie marriage to Frederic.  Ah yes.  This seems to be the driving force for the drama this season.  It turns out that Frederic and Adriana have been legally married for five years, there is a marriage license and everything.  I loved Adriana's blasé reasonings.  Oh, no church, so no marriage.  Ay yi yi.  Sorry, Adriana, despite what the Three Musketeers and Lisa say, marriage certificate equals married.  We were also treated to some scenes with Adriana and Frederic at the warehouse where people are supposedly working on Fred's yacht.  Now, do people actually live on yachts full time?  Is anyone working on this one?  It looks like it is in the exact same state it was last season.  All this drama about their marriage is causing rifts in Adriana and Fredric's relationship.  Rifts that cause them to erupt in obviously staged fights where Adriana attempts to storm out believably and Fredric grabs a piece of driftwood and attempts to do a Lea impersonation where he throws back his head and cackles maniacally (to be fair, he pretty much nails it), causing Adriana to almost break in the middle of her big scene.  I'm really hoping for more Adriana Improv Theater this season and if I know Adriana, I have a feeling I'm going to get it.  We also were treated to our first Joanna and Adriana confrontation of the season during a get-together at Lisa's home.  It, obvs, centered around Adriana's marriage and the disintegration of her friendship with Lea.  Adriana claims that Lea took Joanna's side after the slap heard 'round Miami last season.  I'm sort of Team Joanna on this one.  No one was in the right here and I remember Lea giving them both the business about it.  Adriana also claims that Lea knew she was married to Frederic.  The plot thickens...

Lea:  Speaking of the "Mayor of Miami," we first see Lea Black lounging in the back of her car, waiting for her new bestie, Joanna.  As they ride, they talk about Adriana's marriage.  Lea is distraught. She did all these things for Adriana because she thought she was helping out her friend, the single mother.  This all seems a little shady to me.  Lea and Adriana were thick as thieves for seven years.  If you are that close to someone, how do you not know that they are married.  Something is not adding up here.  Could Lea Black be playing the victim this year, after all the crap she threw Marysol's way last season?  We shall see.  When she wasn't bad mouthing Adriana and lusting after Romain, Lea was re-modeling her house with two very famous interior designers.  Don't ask me their names, because I don't care and I wasn't listening.  All I could really focus on were Lea's curlers.  I didn't realize that A.) anyone on the a Real Housewives show did their own hair, and B.) that anyone wore curlers anymore.  Lea skipped out on Lisa's reconciliation cocktail hour, but something tells me that we won't have to wait long to see the former friends have it  out.

Joanna:  Joanna is still engaged to Romain and is enjoying her new status as BFF to Lea Black.  One of the best moments of the episode was when she said that she was Lea Black thirty years ago.  Maybe, Lea does need that plastic surgery she is always pooh-poohing.  Joanna says a lot, but doesn't do much this episode.  She is very verbal when it comes to her feelings about Adriana's marital revelations.  She also gets a new car.  That Romain, he knows the way to Joanna's heart is not through her vagina, like she wants us to believe, but through Romain's wallet.  We also saw some fracturing in Joanna and Lisa's friendship when Joanna first came to Lisa's house.  We know from the previews, and the Twitter feud they were engaged in, that, like most  Housewives friendships, this one won't last.

Alexia:  Welcome back to the show full-time, Alexia.  I have a feeling you are going to be a lot of fun, even if your tagline does need a lot of work.  "This Cuban doll is back on the scene and living the dream?"  Oy vey.  Alexia has had lots of issues.  Her youngest son, Frankie, was in a car accident that almost took his life, which was the reason she wasn't a full-time Housewife last year.  Luckily, Frankie seems to be doing a lot better, even though his accident messed with his impulse center and now he just says what pops into his head.  Alexia's oldest son, Peter, has been acting out.  Apparently, he beat up a homeless guy, videotaped it, and put it on YouTube.  Alexia heard that Lea called her a horrible mother.  We were also introduced to Alexia's mother, Nancy.   Poor Nancy.  She looks like her plastic surgeon is the same one that Mama Elsa used.  Yowza.  Alexia claims that Nancy is a psychiatrist, but I'm not convinced.  She talks about how men do everything better than women and says something about a castration complex.  I love how they all just nod along, like, of course, men are better than women.  It would be ludicrous to think otherwise.  I'm not sure if Nancy is a good influence or not.  I don't think a kid who is beating up homeless people needs someone telling him he is superior.

Lisa:  Tits McGhee (thank you, Marysol!) is still trying to be friends with everyone.  She goes to the Miami Wedding Expo and meets up with Marysol, Alexia, and Ana.  Ana is still upset about being cut from the cast.  Sorry, Ana.  You can't be dull all season, liven up at the reunion and then expect to be invited back.  Go be a bitch someplace else.  Lisa doesn't tiptoe around Adriana's marriage to Frederic, she brings it right out into the open, even thought the other women play dumb.  Lisa was sort of a plot facilitator this episode.  She brings up the marriage with Adriana for the first time and she hosts the party that brings all the ladies minus Lea together for the first time.  She briefly mentions her infertility problems and has a scene with Joanna that hints at them drifting apart.

Marysol:  I know that Marysol is just a "Friend of the Housewife" this season, but as far as I'm concerned she is still an intergral part of the show and she is my favorite.  So there.  Marysol was giving us comic relief everywhere and was serving backbone realness, which was a nice change from last season.  She also brought the ladies back to Earth by giving them a lecture on what really matters.  Mama Elsa is in the hospital.  She fell and hit her head, causing her brain to hermorrhage.  She had surgery and her prognosis is good, but she will be in the hospital.  This sobering admission brought the women back to reality and they toasted to Elsa's good health.

So, what did you guys think of the premiere?  Are you feeling Miami?  Do you think Marysol, Ana, or Karent should have stayed on?  Are  you Team Adriana, Team Lea, or Team Joanna?  Did you buy Adriana's story?  Let me know in the comments.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Zumba, Tummy Tucks, and Zio Joe

The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 11: "Children of the Scorned"

I feel like Andy Cohen is punking me.  We're not quite at the midway point for the season and everyone is getting along.  We thought we were going to get a verbal brawl between sociopath Teresa and unhinged Jacqueline, but it was over before it even began.  Everyone is getting along.  This is not why people watch this show.  We want drama.  We crave it.  I only hope that producers are lulling us into a false sense of security, and some shit is going to go down soon.  I mean, if the only altercations are between Gia Giudice and Joey Gorga, then this is going to be a long second half of the season.

We pick back up where we left off, Jacqueline and Teresa, across from each other.  Teresa just called Jacqueline evil and I was ready.  She is going to go off.  I had my popcorn ready.  What happened next?  Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  Zero.  Jacqueline calmly tells Teresa that she hurt her.  Teresa is shocked.  In Teresa's world, she is perfect.  People come for her.  They try to tear her and her family down.  She does nothing wrong.  So, how could she hurt Jacqueline?  Jacqueline finally starts to show some emotion when she confronts Teresa about how she said Jacqueline needs to stay off Twitter and worry about her son.  This brings up something all Housewife watchers are familiar with.  Say what you want about me, but leave my kids alone.  Yadda, yadda, yadda.  What is going to come of this?  We may not be able to be friends like we were, but we can be civil.  Ah, the civility compromise.  Let's hope it doesn't last.  I want to see these two go at it.

The ladies join their husbands, stopping Juicy Joe from making anymore cringe inducing statements about people with autism.  Seriously, it's like Juicy watched three episodes of The Big Bang Theory and thinks he is an autism expert.  I'm sure that one of the people Juicy mentioned who he knows with autism is Sheldon Cooper.  Then, Juicy displays more bi-polar behavior when he tells Jacqueline that all is forgiven and forgotten when she apologizes for spreading the cheating "rumors."  Oy vey.  This guy.  Maybe that knock on the head from a couple seasons ago did more damage than we thought.

Apparently, blk. water is still a thing.  The Manzo brothers and Chris have a meeting in their new office.  Which is really nice and big, but completely empty.  Is this a real business?  I mean, Chris acts like it is, and he's all concerned that his nephews will spend more time on Little Town.  I'm thinking this might be a front.  Will Chris Laurita be the next cast member to be indicted?

We were treated to some uncle/niece bonding time as Joey took horrible, obnoxious Gia go karting.  I understand that Gia is a teenager, and this is how teenagers act, but I feel like Gia is worse.  A lot of this is Teresa's fault.  Teresa acts like Gia just finds this stuff out, but Teresa puts her in the thick of it.  So, when she talks to Joe about how Melissa intstigated and brings up the christening, you know that stuff came directly from Teresa , which is not cool or appropriate.  Zio Joe handles this all very well, basically telling Gia that it's adult business and he takes reponsibility without blaming Teresa.  Good job, Joey.

All the Housewives, minus Caroline, get together to go to a Zumba for charity event.  It's all pretty boring.  It is pretty awkward when the Lauritas and the Wakiles show up, especially since they haven't seen the kids for a couple of years.  Teresa and Jacqueline have another moment after Zumba is over.  It doesn't seem real at all and when Teresa goes in for a hug, Jacqueline looks like a scared animal, ready to bolt at any moment.  The best moment of the episode came from Milania, not a big surprise there.  There is a pole on the bus that took everyone to the event.  Juicy is ribbing Melissa about showing everyone her moves.  She won't.  Milania takes some initiative and starts climbing the pole.  "Look, I'm Melissa!  I'm on the pole!"  LOL.

This episode saw everyone saying good-bye to Chris and Albie's gay roommate, Greg.  We all love Greg.  He was a great addition to the show and I hope the boys are right, and he ends up back in Jersey.  It was a nice moment at dinner when Caroline teared up.  She really loves Greg and I can relate.  One of my best friend's mom's is like my second mom, so it struck a chord with me.  Also, if it wasn't for this party, Caroline would have gotten zero screen time this whole episode.

Jacqueline's getting a tummy tuck, y'all!  Who needs to diet and exercise when you can just go under the knife, amiright?  Jacqueline is going all the way to Beverly Hills to get a little nip and a little tuck.  Her parents and Ashley are going to meet her there.  Ashley.  Wow, we haven't seen that mess in a while, and guess what?  She is less of a mess.  She actually tries to keep quesadilla mowing, tequila swilling Jacqueline from ignoring docor's orders.  A valiant attempt Ash, but a lot has changed since you were living in Jersey.

So, Jacqueline goes under the knife.  I'm pretty sure that Jacqueline got her plastic surgeon's number from the guy selling her knock off Louis Vuitton's.  What was this guy's deal?  He was perving on Ashley and talking about how he hoped Jacqueline didn't want a body like Ashley's.  I mean, Ashley is a hot 21-year-old piece and Jacqueline is over 40.  Gross.  Speaking of gross, how about that shot of the triangles of fat, one of them featuring Jacqueline's tattoo?  I wonder if those will find their way onto the Watch What Happens Live clubhouse shelf, next to Tamra Judge's breast implants.

So, everything turns out well.  Jacqueline can continue to not exercise, but be skinny.  Yay!

So, what did you guys think of this episode?  Do you hate Gia, too?  Will you miss Greg?  Do you Zumba?  Will Jacqueline and Teresa be BFF's again?  Would you want your plastic surgeon perving on your daughter while he was operating on you?  Sound off in the comments.

An Artist You Should Know: HAIM

Kid Cudi's Indicud is one of 2012's underrated albums for me.  It was released to mixed reviews, but upon repeated listening I have found a diamond in the rough.  A self produced album that mixes dark beats with relatively upbeat lyrics.  There are a couple of songs where Cudi is an afterthought on his own album.  One of my favorite tracks on the album is "Red Eye," one of the aforementioned tracks where Cudi cedes the spotlight to another artist.  In the case of "Red Eye", the artist is HAIM, a trio of sisters from Los Angeles.

HAIM consists of sisters Este, Alana, and Danielle Haim, along with drummer Dash Hutton.  They are a great mishmash of modern sounding Fleetwood Mac-style guitar driven pop with some nineties style R&B.  So, it's catnip to me.  HAIM has released an EP called Forever, along with a handful of singles. Every song is a winner, especially the single that is being used to promote their full length debut, Days Are Gone, "The Wire."  They have opened for Mumford & Sons and Florence & the Machine.  They have also been blowing audiences away at festival appearances, most recently at Lollapalooza, where SPIN magazine called their set one of the 10 best of the day.

I've embedded some of their videos below, so give them a listen and let me know what you think in the comments.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: One Big Happy Family

The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 10: "Best Frenemies Forever"

So, the reconciliation tour continues.  Seriously, I'm all for the Gorgas and the Giudices resolving their ridiculous feuds, but this shiny, happy people stuff is going to get real old, real fast.  I mean, we were treated to our first lovey dovey Gorga/Giudice family dinner and just when I thought I was going to get a toothache from all the sweetness, I remembered that Jacqueline is still a little nuts.  So, we can at least hope for that to keep us entertained for the rest of the season, can't we?  Also, this detante can't last for 10 plus episodes can it?

So, Joe Gorga is going to be on a billboard for a place called Sizzletan.  The best thing about it, is that Teresa did a commercial for Sizzletown a few years ago!  And they showed footage from it.  It was the best, most horrible thing I have ever seen in my entire life.  Joe wants Melissa to be on the billboard with him, but she bows out.  Melissa astutely points out that Teresa did the commercial first and she doesn't want to disturb their fragile peace by being accused of further copying.  Good on you, Melissa.

Melissa has a lot on her plate though.  I mean, she's an author for God's sake.  She has a lot to do and it's time for the most important part of the writing process: the book cover photo shoot!  We were treated to a nice montage of scenes from both of the Gorgas photo shoots cut together.  Melissa loves a giant fan!  Joe loves being shirtless and hoisting up the bikini clad model that isn't Melissa!  This photo shoot is going as poorly as Melissa's album cover photo shoot from last season.  Remember when Melissa wanted to be a singer?  Simpler times.

It's time for Rosie to find a girlfriend.  So, we're treated to a delightful lesbian mixer where the Gorgas and Wakiles tried to find Ro a lady to settle down with or at least scissor for the evening.  It didn't go great.  Between Melissa finding the swingers and Ro getting so drunk she sort of turns off the one lady lover in the crowd she was interested in, it didn't go the best.  I have hope though!  Seriously, Rosie is awesome and deserves to break her seven year sexless streak.

We were treated to a Twilight Zone moment, when the Gorga/Giudices were having a functional family dinner and the Manzos were having a dysfunctional family dinner.  Caroline was talking to Albie and Chris about the opening of Little Town, their new restaurant, and she made the mistake of using phrases like "work too hard", which apparently are Al's trigger words.  Has Al always been a dick?  I mean, from what I remember, Al was always kind of a loveable guy.  Yeah, he worked too hard, but he did it for his family.  This lashing out at Caroline about busting everyone's balls was not a good look, and based on the looks of his children after he was done, they agree with me.  Albie is for sure concerned, because he has a private dinner with Caroline where he voices those concerns.  Caroline shuts it down right away.  She is a little gentler to Albie's face, than she is in her private interview, basically saying he needs to mind his business.  Is there trouble in Manzo paradise?

Jacqueline is still the conductor of the crazy train, but she seemed to make some progress this week.  It was definitely touch and go.  When Melissa and Caroline were filling her in on what went down during the retreat, her eyes were bugging out so much, I thought they were going to pop out of her head.  Caroline even told her the deal that she made with Teresa to do the trust fall.  Jacqueline is quiet and I'm thankful for that.  I'm not sure if I can handle anymore comments about bleached assholes or masturbation.  It seems like Caroline and Kathy are the only ones that can clearly see that Jacqueline is in trouble.  In her private interview, Caroline calls her sister-in-law, "a complete time bomb."  Uh-oh.

Then, it happens.  Teresa calls her ex-BFF and they set up a time to meet, bringing along their respective spouses.  We were then subjected to some more baffling behavior from Juicy Joe on the way to the meeting.  Wasn't it Juicy who was encouraging Tre to get over this and make amends?  Tearing up because of her and lamenting how much he missed his friendship with Chris?  Now, he's calling Chris a "momo?"  I assume this is some sort of gay slur.  Why is Chris a momo?  Because he loves his wife and children and doesn't cheat on Jacqueline.  I mean, if that's the case, most men should aspire to be momo's.  Jesus.  I hate this guy.  I sort of hope he gets deported.

Do they always meet at the same restaurant?  The restaurant that Teresa and Jacqueline go to looks a lot like the restaurant that Caroline and Teresa met at in the second episode.  Maybe Teresa has a deal with the management?  The men go one way and the women go the other.  And it's time for the main event.

Teresa lays into Jacqueline from the get go.  She starts off with again accusing Jacqueline of ruining her relationship with her brother and Melissa, which is ludicrous.  She brings up Twitter and Danielle Staub and calls Jacqueline an evil person.  I was worried about Jacqueline at first.  When Teresa first starts in, her left eye starts twitching and I'm hoping there is nothing with a sharp edge on the table.  Jacqueline recovers and handles herself pretty well.  She owns up to her immature tweeting.  I mean, if you follow Jacqueline on Twitter, you know her Tweets read like they were sent by Honey Boo Boo fresh off a go go juice bender.  I'm not sure why Teresa brings up Jacqueline reading all of Danielle's court records.  Teresa was right there in the thick of that.  That is my main issue with Teresa.  She is a humongous hypocrite.

Jacqueline does slip up once by calling Teresa a sociopath.  Teresa doesn't know what that means, but luckily her personal assistant, Siri, is on the case.  For the most part, Jacqueline acquits herself well here.  She owns up to some of the mistakes shes made and doesn't go for Teresa's glitter filled extensions when she calls her evil.  Of course, the episode ended mid confrontoation, so we'll have to wait until next week to see how it all shakes out.

So, what did you guys think?  Are you ready to shill for Sizzletan?  Are you judging Melissa's book by the cover shoot?  Are Caroline and Al in trouble?  If Jacqueline and Teresa make up, who will fight?  Will the show be worth watching?  Was Kathy in this episode?  Sound off in the comments.

Divas of the Fall: Part III

Lady GaGa hates hackers and she hates leakers.  She even tried to enlist Katy Perry to grab a bat and go fuck some up via Twitter.  Over the weekend, leakers struck.  Katy's whole single, "Roar" was leaked on Saturday, so she bumped up the release date by a day, making it available on Monday for download.  GaGa only suffered some snippets that were removed pretty quickly, but it was enough.  It was a full fledged pop music emergency, as Mother Monster decided to release the full single over a week early.  So, if you love divas and pop music, Monday was a pretty good day.

What of the singles themselves?  "Roar" is a thumping, empowerment anthem, along the lines of "Firework" or Sara Bareilles' "Brave" which it bears a striking similarity to.  Someone has even mashed the two songs together and they are pretty seamless.  All in all, it's not a bad song, and I don't really hate if two songs sound similar.  I'm sure "Brave" sounds like another song that's out there, too.  I don't think Katy Perry sat down and thought, "I'm going to rip off Sara Bareilles."

"Applause" is the better of the two songs.  It doesn't sound like anything off of "Born This Way" which is good.  I want ARTPOP to be better than "Born This Way."  I want GaGa to keep challenging herself and be on the cutting edge, and I think this is a good first taste of that.  The chorus is great, it's glam, it's electronic, it's what everyone is looking for in a Lady GaGa single.

Both divas released the lyric videos for their respective singles.  They showed two things, that Katy Perry is crazy for emoji's and GaGa is crazy for drag queens.  Check out the lyric videos below and then let me know what you think of the songs in the comments.