The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 9: "On Thin Giud-ice"
Wow. Did anyone else feel like they had whiplash at the end of this episode? It took a lot of abrupt right turns and by the end of the episode the only relationship that hadn't mended was the broken friendship of Jacqueline and Teresa. So, how did the Gorga/Giudice/Wakile clan mend their busted fences? It seems we can thank Dr. V.
We pick up right where left off. Brother and sister are crying and airing out issues upstairs with Dr. V, she of the magical Italian vagina. Melissa is downstairs spilling to Caroline what happened before she got there. Melissa is letting Caroline know that Teresa was still placing all the blame for the dissolution of the relationship with her brother on Jacqueline. Now, I get why Melissa is doing this. At this point it is still very much, Melissa vs. Teresa. And let's be real, even if Dr. V is able to put this fractured family back together, Melissa and Teresa will always be slightly combative. So, right now, Melissa wants Caroline on her side and what better way to do that than to tell Caroline all about how Teresa was trashing Caroline's sister-in-law. Caroline was not going to let herself get roped into this mess. She called bullshit on Teresa in front of Melissa and in her interview.
Dr. V interrupts this convo to tell Melissa that it was time to face the music. Melissa agrees and follows Dr. V upstairs. Ro offers her a high five and Melissa leaves her hanging! Come on, Melissa. Get your head in the game.
So, it's major therapy time and a lot of stuff happens relatively quickly. Melissa airs her grievances with Joe. There is talk of tweeting and Teresa always being present when rumors about Melissa are being spread. It is basically all of the shizz that we have heard time and time again with these two. The difference this time? Dr. V. I had my doubts about Dr. V when she first showed up, but she puts a lot of them to rest here. Everytime she opens her mouth, she lays some brutal truths on the group. First off, they like to be in conflict. They want it. Also, she shuts Tre down pretty quickly when she tries to justify or defend herself when it comes to the rumor spreading. The bottom line is that Teresa is there and she isn't defending Melissa when she should be. They need to be a united front. Then, Melissa and Teresa do one of the most shocking things I've ever seen on RHONJ. They hug. Not once, but twice. And it seemed relatively genuine. Well, as genuine as you can be on reality TV anyway.
Next, it's time to bring Juicy Joe into the family bonding. Juicy claims to be the normal one. Yikes. That's a sad state of affairs when this guy is the sane one. There is a lot of babbling here by Juicy where he just seems disinterested in the whole thing. Dr. V attempts to break down the Joes' issues. Joey looked up to Juicy, he feels betrayed, yadda, yadda, yadda. Big hugs. We're all good.
It's time for Dr. V to leave and everyone is sad, because everyone in the house wants to get a closer look at her magical, blonde vag. Even Caroline. Heck, even me. She made me a believer. Who is not so super happy that Dr. V is taking off? Kathy. Kathy wanted to be brought up to the big family therapy lovefest, but alas, poor Kathy is, as always in this group, an afterthought. Kathy does something that we don't normally see on the any show in the Real Housewives franchise. Instead of stewing, being passive aggressive, and bottling all this up to explode at a later date, she actually confronts Teresa. She tells her how she feels. She apologizes for the comments she made at last year's reunion regarding Tre's dad. Teresa, still riding the Dr. V wave, apologizes back. It seems like with this declaration of love, everything is right with the fam. For now. Now, it's time to get to the important stuff. Ice fishing, cooking, and Melissa getting naked wasted.
That's right, Melissa is done. While the boys and Rosie attempt ice fishing, she joins Kathy and Teresa in the castle's kitchen. She gives up on cooking pretty much immediately and starts to get super drunk. She doesn't care that no one else is, her kids aren't around and when your kids aren't around you drink! Melissa is one of those annoying drunks you don't want to be around because she is overly obnoxious, makes jokes that are only funny to her and constantly tells you how drunk she is. No fun. The boys and Ro come back after ice fishing is a predictable bust and they have dinner. Then, there are trust falls, where Richie decides that feeling up Rosie is the appropriate thing to do. Sometimes, I wonder who is worse, Richie or Juicy. Then, I realize, the answer to the who is worse question is always Juicy.
Teresa wants Caroline to trust fall on her, but Caroline won't unless Teresa promises to make a concerted effort to resolve things with Jacqueline. There is some overly dramatic hemming and hawing, but Teresa finally decides to do it. There is a successful trust fall and all is well.
We then are treated? to some Jacqueline and Chris action. They are out to eat and there is some disturbing talk about when they "found themselves" and a petrified sock and I'm having flashbacks to Juicy and Tre in the hot tub and I'm in the fetal position in the corner of my living room, rocking back and forth. The Lauritas talk about the Giudices and the Giudices talk about the Lauritas. The consensus seems to be the menfolk think the womenfolk should get over it and move on with their lives. Juicy even gets teary eyed, but that could be because he caught a whiff of himself. I always imagine that Joe Giudice smells of High Karate and onions. If that wouldn't make you tear up, I'm not sure what would.
So, how long do we think this peace will last? Will Caroline finally get her own story and more screen time? Will the focus now be on Jacqueline and Teresa's fractured friendship? Do you care? Hit the comments and let me know.
No comments:
Post a Comment