The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Episode 7: "When Joes Collide"
"Teresa! Help your brother!" These were the words that Melissa was shrieking when the screen went to black. It was right after the titular Joes collided. It was a confrontation that had been brewing since the christening in the season three premiere and I'm surprised that it hasn't happened before now. This was quite the turnaround from what was going on previously. Yes, fellow RHONJ fans, this is it, the first part of the Gorga/Giudice/Wakile retreat to try and mend what may be irreparably broken. Before we get into the meat and potatoes of the episode, let's take a look at what went down with the Housewives who decided to sit this one out... initially.
Caroline: Caroline and Al went to a bridge that Al's father built or funded or something. To be honest, I wasn't paying a lot of attention, because honestly, while I love Caroline, in this episode who really cares? Am I right? So, Caroline talked a lot about how everything Al does, he does to try and impress his father. Caroline is always trying to justify Al's behavior. It's clear Caroline adores Al, but I feel like he kind of takes Caroline for granted. I did think it was cute/hilarious when he made the obviously terrified of heights Caroline run across the bridge. It was nice to have a little bit of levity in an otherwise pretty intense episode.
Jacqueline: Jacqueline continued her "I don't care about Teresa, but I really do, because I look for every excuse to talk about her" line of reasoning. Reasoning? Not when it comes to Jacqueline. Now, to be clear, I think that Jacqueline and Teresa are both sort of obsessed with each other. They both are clearly still stinging from the end of their 10 year friendship and they need to get together to either work it out or put it to bed completely. I have said it before, and I'll say it again, Chris Laurita is, hands down, the nicest husband in New Jersey. He listens to Jacqueline and attempts to put her concerns to bed, but Jacqueline cannot get off the topic. It's clear that she should have gone to this retreat, too.
Everyone Else: The tone for the retreat was set before they even got there. Cut to everyone getting packed up. Teresa was upbeat about the whole thing. She was hoping that this will be what their family needs to get back on track. I'm never sure if Teresa is being genuine when the cameras are rolling. Say what you want about the Lady Giudice, but she is very aware of her image and there is nothing more important to her than looking good, or how people perceive her. Melissa doesn't seem to have that issue. The whole time she is packing she is bemoaning the whole idea and how this will accomplish nothing. Before the cameras rolled, she even convinced Antonia to put a Bible and a picture of Jesus into a suitcase and pull it out into their living room. Seriously though, no one is convinced that her kids did this on their own, right?
The bad vibes continue on the way to the actual retreat. The Gorgas and Wakiles along with Rosie take a party bus together to the retreat and there is lots of badmouthing of the Giudices. Props to Rosie for not participating. Rosie and Teresa seem to have genuinely squashed their beef and I'm glad that Rosie didn't allow herself to get pulled back into the drama. The lowest blows are reserved for Melissa who talks about how Joe doesn't really love Teresa and treats her horribly. Melissa is obviously still stinging from previous comments Teresa had made about how she would leave Joe for a man with more money and this is her way of trying to get back at Teresa. It's not setting a great tone for the mending of relationships.
In her limo with Juicy Joe, Teresa is focusing her badmouthing on Jacqueline. Eventually, the topic steers towards Nicholas and Joe makes some offhand comments about how autism isn't that big of a deal, and some people grow up to be geniuses with autism. You can tell by the look of nervous panic in Teresa's eyes, that she knows it is not cool to say this and she is already anticipating viewer reaction. She quickly changes topics and in her private interview, gives her tried and true line about how Juicy Joe knows not what he says. I don't think that Joe means anything by this, but instead of defending him and saying Joe is who he is, she needs to confront him and let him know that what he is saying is not cool, whether or not he meant offense. It's getting harder and harder to accept the "Joe is just ignorant and harmless" defense.
So, the retreat is at a freakin' castle. Is anyone surprised about this? Teresa starts to get everything ready, since she is the hostess with the mostess. The rest of the gang arrives and they are all dutifully impressed. Then, we are treated to one of the most awkward dinners in Housewives history and that is saying something. They don't even try to make small talk. They just shoot each other side eyes and go over their list of slights in their heads. God bless, Ro. She tries to make it less awkward. She talks about the team builders that she hired to help try and get things off to a good start.
Let's talk about the teambuilders, shall we. Oh, Steve and Stephanie. When you saw their bright, smiling faces you knew, much like the participants of the retreat, that they were not equipped to deal with what they were going to come up against. Things started out well enough. There was an exercise where they all tried to fit on a square of paper. It started with one square for everyone. Then, one was taken away until only one remained. Everything seemed to be going OK, until after the exercise was over and Steve asked about trust. Hoo boy. Talk about a loaded question, Steve-o. Asking this question gave everyone carte blanche to start airing their grievances all at once. Steve & Stephanie lost what little control they had at this moment.
Teresa trotted out her tried and true excuse about Jacqueline being the reason that she and the Gorgas hadn't spoken in a year and half. I think we can all agree that that is not the case. We have all heard the arguments before. I love how Teresa spoke directly to Steve and Stephanie, like eventually they would start chiming in on her side. Can you imagine if Stephanie would have started weighing in on Strippergate? We would have had a Melissa/Teresa brawl on her hand.
It all goes downhill pretty quickly. Juicy J and Ro head out to drink or smoke or both. Melissa ends up on her knees in front of Teresa begging her to stop hurting them. Joey tells her to bow to Teresa, and she does. It is not helpful or accomplishing anything. Teresa finally has had enough. She tells Joey to stick with his family, stick with his blood. It is at this point that Joey lands the lowest the blow. "Why would I stick with scum like you?" Ouch. Scum is basically the biggest insult you can hurl at someone in Jersey. It's worse than calling someone garbage. I mean, remember the Danielle Staub/Caroline confrontation from season 2? Garbage is pretty bad. Even Kathy, who has been desperately trying to play peacemaker, knows that Joey has gone too far.
This is when Teresa throws her hands up and heads out. Now, Teresa has two options here. She can go to her room and cool off and not give Juicy any deets, or she can spill the beans knowing that he will fly off the handle. I think we can all guess what Tre does. "He called me scum," Teresa said. Juicy decides to take matters into his own beefy hands. "I'm going to make him apologize!" he screams. Rosie knows no good can come of this, so she follows Joe back inside. As soon as Juicy demands Joe apologize, Joey goes for him. Tackling him at the knees and it's on.
This is where we end, with Melissa going from begging Teresa on her knees to begging her to help her brother. Oh man. This is a mess.
So, what did you guys think? Were you upset that you had to wait for the next episode to see the fight? Whose side are you on? Were you surprised that the therapist coming to help is Dr. V from Bravo's L.A. Shrinks? Should Jacqueline and Caroline have went on the retreat? Let me know in the comments.
Caroline: Caroline and Al went to a bridge that Al's father built or funded or something. To be honest, I wasn't paying a lot of attention, because honestly, while I love Caroline, in this episode who really cares? Am I right? So, Caroline talked a lot about how everything Al does, he does to try and impress his father. Caroline is always trying to justify Al's behavior. It's clear Caroline adores Al, but I feel like he kind of takes Caroline for granted. I did think it was cute/hilarious when he made the obviously terrified of heights Caroline run across the bridge. It was nice to have a little bit of levity in an otherwise pretty intense episode.
Jacqueline: Jacqueline continued her "I don't care about Teresa, but I really do, because I look for every excuse to talk about her" line of reasoning. Reasoning? Not when it comes to Jacqueline. Now, to be clear, I think that Jacqueline and Teresa are both sort of obsessed with each other. They both are clearly still stinging from the end of their 10 year friendship and they need to get together to either work it out or put it to bed completely. I have said it before, and I'll say it again, Chris Laurita is, hands down, the nicest husband in New Jersey. He listens to Jacqueline and attempts to put her concerns to bed, but Jacqueline cannot get off the topic. It's clear that she should have gone to this retreat, too.
Everyone Else: The tone for the retreat was set before they even got there. Cut to everyone getting packed up. Teresa was upbeat about the whole thing. She was hoping that this will be what their family needs to get back on track. I'm never sure if Teresa is being genuine when the cameras are rolling. Say what you want about the Lady Giudice, but she is very aware of her image and there is nothing more important to her than looking good, or how people perceive her. Melissa doesn't seem to have that issue. The whole time she is packing she is bemoaning the whole idea and how this will accomplish nothing. Before the cameras rolled, she even convinced Antonia to put a Bible and a picture of Jesus into a suitcase and pull it out into their living room. Seriously though, no one is convinced that her kids did this on their own, right?
The bad vibes continue on the way to the actual retreat. The Gorgas and Wakiles along with Rosie take a party bus together to the retreat and there is lots of badmouthing of the Giudices. Props to Rosie for not participating. Rosie and Teresa seem to have genuinely squashed their beef and I'm glad that Rosie didn't allow herself to get pulled back into the drama. The lowest blows are reserved for Melissa who talks about how Joe doesn't really love Teresa and treats her horribly. Melissa is obviously still stinging from previous comments Teresa had made about how she would leave Joe for a man with more money and this is her way of trying to get back at Teresa. It's not setting a great tone for the mending of relationships.
In her limo with Juicy Joe, Teresa is focusing her badmouthing on Jacqueline. Eventually, the topic steers towards Nicholas and Joe makes some offhand comments about how autism isn't that big of a deal, and some people grow up to be geniuses with autism. You can tell by the look of nervous panic in Teresa's eyes, that she knows it is not cool to say this and she is already anticipating viewer reaction. She quickly changes topics and in her private interview, gives her tried and true line about how Juicy Joe knows not what he says. I don't think that Joe means anything by this, but instead of defending him and saying Joe is who he is, she needs to confront him and let him know that what he is saying is not cool, whether or not he meant offense. It's getting harder and harder to accept the "Joe is just ignorant and harmless" defense.
So, the retreat is at a freakin' castle. Is anyone surprised about this? Teresa starts to get everything ready, since she is the hostess with the mostess. The rest of the gang arrives and they are all dutifully impressed. Then, we are treated to one of the most awkward dinners in Housewives history and that is saying something. They don't even try to make small talk. They just shoot each other side eyes and go over their list of slights in their heads. God bless, Ro. She tries to make it less awkward. She talks about the team builders that she hired to help try and get things off to a good start.
Let's talk about the teambuilders, shall we. Oh, Steve and Stephanie. When you saw their bright, smiling faces you knew, much like the participants of the retreat, that they were not equipped to deal with what they were going to come up against. Things started out well enough. There was an exercise where they all tried to fit on a square of paper. It started with one square for everyone. Then, one was taken away until only one remained. Everything seemed to be going OK, until after the exercise was over and Steve asked about trust. Hoo boy. Talk about a loaded question, Steve-o. Asking this question gave everyone carte blanche to start airing their grievances all at once. Steve & Stephanie lost what little control they had at this moment.
Teresa trotted out her tried and true excuse about Jacqueline being the reason that she and the Gorgas hadn't spoken in a year and half. I think we can all agree that that is not the case. We have all heard the arguments before. I love how Teresa spoke directly to Steve and Stephanie, like eventually they would start chiming in on her side. Can you imagine if Stephanie would have started weighing in on Strippergate? We would have had a Melissa/Teresa brawl on her hand.
It all goes downhill pretty quickly. Juicy J and Ro head out to drink or smoke or both. Melissa ends up on her knees in front of Teresa begging her to stop hurting them. Joey tells her to bow to Teresa, and she does. It is not helpful or accomplishing anything. Teresa finally has had enough. She tells Joey to stick with his family, stick with his blood. It is at this point that Joey lands the lowest the blow. "Why would I stick with scum like you?" Ouch. Scum is basically the biggest insult you can hurl at someone in Jersey. It's worse than calling someone garbage. I mean, remember the Danielle Staub/Caroline confrontation from season 2? Garbage is pretty bad. Even Kathy, who has been desperately trying to play peacemaker, knows that Joey has gone too far.
This is when Teresa throws her hands up and heads out. Now, Teresa has two options here. She can go to her room and cool off and not give Juicy any deets, or she can spill the beans knowing that he will fly off the handle. I think we can all guess what Tre does. "He called me scum," Teresa said. Juicy decides to take matters into his own beefy hands. "I'm going to make him apologize!" he screams. Rosie knows no good can come of this, so she follows Joe back inside. As soon as Juicy demands Joe apologize, Joey goes for him. Tackling him at the knees and it's on.
This is where we end, with Melissa going from begging Teresa on her knees to begging her to help her brother. Oh man. This is a mess.
So, what did you guys think? Were you upset that you had to wait for the next episode to see the fight? Whose side are you on? Were you surprised that the therapist coming to help is Dr. V from Bravo's L.A. Shrinks? Should Jacqueline and Caroline have went on the retreat? Let me know in the comments.
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