Sunday, June 15, 2014

The Real Housewives of New York City Recap: Blow Dry Blow Out

The Real Housewives of New York City, Episode 8: "Unforgivable Debt"


With friends like Ramona Singer, who needs enemies?  For the past three seasons, Ramona and Sonja have been like peas and carrots.  They were basically the same person.  It seems like things might be changing a little bit.  There is friction between the ever tipsy BFF's, ever since Ramona's party in the Hamptons.  Ramona spills all Sonja's secrets to the other ladies.  At the Hamptons Designer Show House (yes, that is a thing), Ramona lets Carole and LuAnn know all about Sonja's financial troubles.    She tells them not to say anything, because these ladies never gossip.  Ever.  It's a mess and we may be witnessing the dissolution of the one longest and strongest Housewives friendship.


The rift is apparent from the beginning of the episode.  Sonja is at her borrowed Hampton House, which I am still convinced she is just squatting in, and has invited Aviva and Ramona over for brunch and sunbathing.  Aviva is there, but Ramona calls with some lame excuse.  She is still butt hurt over her tiff with Sonja at her party.  Sonja hangs up on Ramona mid-excuse and it makes me guffaw.  Aviva is her typical condescending self when it comes to Sonja.  She acts like she is her best buddy, but it's pretty obvious that she thinks Sonja is just a sad bimbo.  I'm almost positive that the only reason she tried to set Sonja up with the bartender is so she could make a lame leg joke.  God forbid we go one episode without being reminded she only has the one.

Kristen learned that 37-year-old models aren't in high demand.  She meets with a new modeling agent, who looks like he wants to kick Kristen out as soon as she enters into his office.  I don't think that he would have even flipped through her portfolio if there hadn't been cameras around.  So, more mommy modeling for Kristen.  Let's hope that Heather still needs her to model for Yummie.  Or  you know, you can move on to the "next chapter."  Thanks creepy modeling agent!

Ramona, Aviva, Sonja, and LuAnn meet up for a wine tasting that is full of crazy.  First off, I think Aviva may be into golden showers.  How else to explain how matter-of-fact she was when she compared that wine to urine.  Am I grasping at straws?  Whatever.  I'm starting the rumor.  Feel free to spread it around.

LuMan tries to broach the subject of Sonja's multiple "businesses," but all she gets is Sonja spouting off.  Sonja says a lot of stuff and she says it really fast, but when you really hear what she is saying it turns out that is just inconsequential stuff.  Sonja is not a toaster oven or a party planning business.  She is something, but not sure what.  She has a brand, but she can't explain what that brand is.  People think that she's sexy so they want her toaster oven recipes.  I think the most surprising thing about this whole thing was that Sonja has a newsletter?  Who subscribes to this?  Other down on their luck, delusional rich people?  Is there a market for that?

Ramona brings up Aviva's issues with Heather and Carole for some reason.  I'm not sure why.  Is it like a victory lap?  She made up with Aviva for "the good of the group," and now Aviva is at odds with two different women.  Aviva tries to stick up for herself and to be honest I stopped listening, because I really don't care what Aviva has to say.  LuAnn is trying to not take a side, which causes Sonja to snap out of nowhere and tell LuAnn that she can't be diplomatic.  LuAnn called Sonja a bitch.  The whole thing was a mess.  Which is pretty par for the course where Sonja is involved.  Oh, and what about this phantom jewelery line that Sonja mentioned that she had never said anything about?  Is she losing her mind?  I'm being serious.  Can we have a psychiatrist watch this?

Sonja's bad episode continues when Ramona visits her one on one to try to talk to her about her apartment.  Sonja puts her fingers in her ears and yells "La, la la!" and reveals that she is the only person in America who still remembers or tries to follow The Secret.  To add insult to injury, she is stood up by her young buck, Ben.  Wah, wah.

It's time for a spa day!  The ladies meet up at a spa and split off.  Carole, Heather, and LuAnn head off for massages and mud baths, while Aviva, Ramona, Sonja and Kristen split off to... do something.  Sit in a weird hot tub thing and drink?  I've never been to a spa, so I'm not sure.  It's pretty mellow in the mud bath room, but things spiral out of control pretty quickly with the other ladies.  Sonja is convinced that Ramona ruined things with her 23-year-old.  Apparently, Ramona is a friend of his mother and she was checking things out because she was worried about Sonja because Sonja thinks with her pussy?  Or something like that.  Kristen makes the mistake of trying to join in the conversation, suggesting that maybe Ramona is jealous of Sonja.  Ramona decides to throw wine in Kristen's face, as mature women do.  Kristen splashes Ramona, again very mature, but come on.  What would you do if a grown woman threw wine at you for no reason?  Ramona flips her shit, because she just had a blow dry done!  What the fuck?  Don't you understand how a blow dry works Kristen?!  (To be honest, I do not, I'm just thankful that Ramona had one of those giant curlers handy.)  What a bitch, Kristen.  This is also some awesome foreshadowing for next time guys.

So, what did you think?  Is Sonja just done?  Should we stick a fork in her?  Is Ramona insane?  Do you want to share a mud bath with your best girls?  Let me know in the comments.




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