The Real Housewives of Orange County, Episode 4: "Pretty Ugly"
Is Orange County in a different universe than the one that I live in? Has the ugly sweater party just recently migrated to California? Because in Iowa, there have been ugly sweater parties for years. It was hilarious to hear Tamra and Vicki and Eddie try to wrap their minds around people wearing things that are ugly on purpose. These chicks suck the fun out of everything because they are so vain. It's crazy that they will get sloppy drunk and make fools our of themselves and they don't bat an eye, but wear a sweater from Dillard's to a party and it's too much. Oy.
This episode introduced us to this season's other newest Housewife, Lizzie Rovsek. Lizzie is a former beauty queen, who seems to be working overtime to let everyone know that she is not your typical pageant girl. She was valedictorian of her high school and she got a degree in fashion merchandising just like Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. Lizzie has leveraged her beauty pageant experience and her degree into a bathing suit line. Lizzie's bathing suit are apparently amazing. The asses don't sag after they've been in the water. Is that revolutionary? Have swimsuit designers never done this before? I'm not sure. I wear board shorts. They always sag. I found myself really liking Lizzie. I liked how she fell first thing at the ugly sweater party, but shook it off and went with it. Also, her husband is smoking hot. Move over Mauricio. There's a new hottie househusband on the West Coast.
Not every Housewife went to the ugly sweater party. Vicki was too busy imploring her will on her helpless employees. She is forcing them to redecorate their offices and she is disgusted that they don't like the smell of leather. How classless. Oh Vicki. You know class. She also had a disgusting dinner date with Brooks that I could barely watch. I just don't understand how she could be with this guy. He is so slimy and weird. He's the worst. Why would you be with someone who talks about how your daughter should be beat? That shit is not a joke. Vicki is so desperate to be loved. It's kind of pathetic.
Shannon skipped out because she and David were going on an overnight trip without the girls to the St. Regis. Who cares that it's like 3 miles from their house? It may as well be another country. Watching Shannon and David interact on their own is almost as awkward as their dinner party fighting. David tried to convince Shannon to get a boob job. I think they were drunk the entire time. They even commented about how they needed to be drunker before they could bone. It was so sad.
It's party time! The party is being held at the home of Danielle Gregorio who was briefly shown talking to Tamra at the end of the last episode. I'm not sure what she does or if she knows any of the other ladies. Who cares. Can we talk about her hubsand though? That guy is gay. Gay as the day is long. Seriously. How does Danielle not know this? Do they have some sort of arrangment? The way he kept talking about how small his sweater is? This will end in tears.
Heather and Terry show up in matching sweaters. They are hideous. Eddie's sweater he had in high school? Is that for real? What 40 year old man still has clothes from high school? It sort of seems like Heather and Tamra are getting along again, bonding over how their sons are too cool now for kisses goodbye from their moms. Then Heather uses the world amalgam and it's all over. Tamra doesn't know what it means. Heater can't believe she doesn't. Lizzie suggests Tamra use the word three times or something and then it'll become part of her vocabulary, but we all know Tamra won't do that. I don't really like this tension between Heather, Tamra and Vicki. I really like their weird, opposites attract friendship. I really want them all to make up.
It's possible that Eddie might be a sociopath. That was my takeaway after his conversation with Tamra about having a baby. First off, he's not wearing his wedding ring. I don't care what his excuse is, but that is a giant red flag. Secondly, he doesn't want a baby, but he's cool with Tamra having one. He just doesn't want any part of raising it. Tamra can totally have a kid, but Eddie won't be involved. They'll still be married. What would Eddie do? Just ignore it? Pretend it was an extra piece of furniture. This whole thing really disturbed me and it disturbed me that Tamra was not disturbed and still seemed to be entertaining the idea. Listen, joint custody is not the reason to have a kid.
What did you guys think? Did you like Lizzie? Do we still hate Brooks? Do you think Danielle's husband is gay? Is there hope for Heather and Tamra's friendship? Is the Beadors marriage rocky? Did this ep make you like Eddie a little less? Let me know in the comments.
No comments:
Post a Comment