The Real Housewives of New York City, Episode 9: "The Last Splash"
Listen guys. When I realized that Aviva was missing from the opening of this episode, I was pretty ecstatic. I was jumping for joy, which is ironic since I'm not sure she can do that. I was hoping that she was gone. Banished mid-way through filming for unkown reasons, destined to pop back in the season finale to toss her leg at someone and then hobble away to cling to Fran Drescher and hope that whatever fame that shrew has would somehow rub off on her. Alas, it was not to be. It turns out that Aviva had to go visit her son at camp for parents day, so she skipped out on the trip to the Berkshires, and therefore her image was banished from the opening. This is very interesting. Wasn't Ramona absent in Africa at the beginning of the season? She was and yet, it was still Turtle Time. Hmmm... I know what you're thinking, with Aviva gone, this Berkshires trip is going to super lame and uneventful and drama free... oh hey Ramona. Both your eyes are rolling around in opposite directions and I see you're warming up your throwing arm...
Everyone is getting involved to try to help Sonja get her shit together. Now, Kristen is joining the fray. Josh is kind of a tool, but I guess he has business ventures, so why not have him counsel Sonja a little bit. Kristen leaves the two of them alone and Josh is basically lost from the beginning. Sonja is just blabbing bringing up all this different shit. She's talking to a football team in Nigeria? I'm not sure what she's doing with them. Maybe she's going to be the official blow job giver? Who knows. She mentions some Saudi thing. Josh puts the brakes on and tried to give her some harsh reality. Maybe focus on one thing. Sonja hears criticism and shuts down. Josh just laughs. What else could you possibly do?
Sonja continues to be the topic of conversation, if she is around or not. Heather invites the coupled up ladies and their significant others to dinner, to let the men know that she is kidnapping the ladies and taking them to the Berkshires. Ramona is not excited, but check out Mario. He is ready to make out with Heather right there at the table. I can't believe that they are having marital troubles. There are no signs of that. Ramona, of all people, gets offended when Josh talks about his meeting with Sonja and they all basically talk about how she is a giant flake. It's cool for Ramona to talk shit and spread rumors about Sonja because they are BFF's. It's not cool for others to do it. Duh, guys.
Carole is trying to take charge of her relationship life after her breakup with Russ. She visits friends in L.A. and tells them about a guy who dumped her before a first date and then she visits a matchmaker with Kristen. Apparently she was drawn to him by a video of hyenas fornicating on his website. I get it. Nothing says "I can find the man for you" then animals doing the nasty. You get the feeling that Carole is just doing this for the story, whether it's one she writes or just one that she tells and it's kind of great and hilarious.
Ramona seems to be up to something from the start. She meets with Sonja and Luann for some sort of aerial yoga stuff and once the class is over, she starts talking about how she isn't into the Berkshires. In her private interviews, she talks about lame and not Hamptons it is, but with the girls, she tells a different tale. Ramona talks about how the woods reminds her of abuse she and her mother suffered at the hands of her father. Ramona has talked openly and honestly about this abuse in the past and as a fellow abuse survivor I think that's great, but this comes off as a little shady. It could have something to do with the way the segments are edited together, but it makes it seem like Ramona is planting seeds, should she feel the need to escape the Berkshires.
The ladies head to the Berkshires, Kristen and Carole drive up in one car, Ramona, LuAnn and Sonja in the other, don't forget Lu! She is driving! Heather do you hear?! She must be included!!!! Ramona is on a roll from the jump. She finds out there is no air conditioning, so she orders an A/C unit to be delivered without asking Heather's permission. When they get to Heather's, Ramona "accidentally" asks Heather if her house is the garage. Not long after, the A/C shows up, being delivered by a hunky, young man that Sonja immediately tries to have sex with. Heather, graciously, lets Ramona's slights go, for now.
The ladies head to the lake for some fishing and canoeing. Carole seems to be the only one who is interested in actually fishing, but she is stuck in a canoe with Ramona, who just wants to complain. She wants to complain about not getting her hair wet, even though she's on a canoe, surrounded by water. She recounts the dinner with Sonja and Ramona and shit talks Kristen. Ramona makes sure to leave out the part where she told everyone who would listen about Sonja's financial issues.
Little do they know, Heather has left her canoe and is listening. She motions for Kristen, who swims over and catches Ramona in the act of being awful. So, Kristen decides to do what she knows best and splashes Ramona, getting her hair wet. Oh no. Ramona chucks her wine at Kristen, decides that's not enough and follows it with the whole glass that breaks against Kristen's face.
You may think that this served as some sort of wake up call for Ramona. You may think she was aghast and immediately apologized to Kristen. If you think any of those things, then you obviously have never watched this show or know who Ramona Singer is. Ramona doubled down, basically blaming Kristen because she splashed her. Because you know, water hitting you in the face and a glass are comparable. Sonja and Ramona take off, Sonja sticking up for Ramona all the way, while LuMan, who used to be a nurse, checks out Kristen's lip. Luckily, she just got cut, no stitches needed.
So, this trip to the Berkshires is super eventful so far. Did Kristen over react? Come on Ramona's just terrible. Let me know what you think in the comments.
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