The Real Housewives of Orange County, Episode 5: "I Couldn't Chair Less"
It's come to this ladies and gentlemen. They've officially ran out of things to fight about. They've resorted to bickering about chairs and seating arrangements at an impromptu get together. It's like we're watching a middle aged Mean Girls with Heather, Shannon, and Vicki alternating in the role of Gretchen Weiner. It's so idiotic and it's just another shot in the battle between Shannon and Heather.
Vicki and Shannon have become BFF's, which is not a huge surprise since they are both kooky. It's clear that Shannon has let Vicki into the inner circle since she is taking her to see the definitely not a quack "Dr." Moon. Vicki is not a big fan of the acupuncture and there is super uncomfortable talk of things going in Vicki's butt and I'm super nervous her gown is going to open up, so let's just move on from here shall we?
Heather has decided to have a hoedown to celebrate the breaking of ground on the lot for her new house. Heather is such a control freak and I'm not sure if she even realizes it. She's going on and on about how awesome her party planner is and how she completely trusts her, but she just sort of stands there mouth agape as Heather tells her what's going to happen and where things are going to go. If you're cool with just doing as your told then Heather is the perfect client for a party planner. If you're a party planner who wants their input valued, you should probably find someone else. Good news for Terry, there will be onion rings!!
Vicki, Tamra and Shannon hit the nail salon where talk turns to Heather and Tamra's meeting. Vicki immediately starts snoring when she hears Vicki's name, which is helpful and Shannon piles on the Heather Hate by going on about how condescending she is and yadda, yadda, yadda. Tamra switches gears by inviting the ladies to go out and meet Lizzie at the same time. Tamra does little to endear Lizzie to Vicki when she describes her as a cross between Gretchen and Alexis.
Before girl time can begin, Shannon brings her feng shui expert to Vicki's office to feng shui it up. This gives Vicki the perfect chance to be Vicki, money hungry and semi-racist. Vicki only hears what she wants to hear, like her office is leaking money and that she should put pictures of herself up everywhere. Can you imagine? It's bad enough she is in your face constantly woo hooing and talking abou ther terrible relationship, but then in your precious moments alone you have to be surrounded by pictures of her weird messed up face. Shudder. And wait, isn't feng shui just for Asian people?
I was very surprised at how easily Vicki and Lizzie got along. They seem like such an odd couple, but it was nice to see Vicki not fall prey to precoceived notions and really give Lizzie a chance. Who am I kidding? Vicki was awful from the jump, first by acting like she couldn't remember Lizzie's name and then by slamming beauty pageants. Even Shannon was surprised at how her new BFF was stepping in it and how unapologetic she seemed about the whole thing. Kudos to Lizzie for not allowing Vicki to walk all over her. It seems like none of the other ladies want to get in the middle of this, so they stay strangely quiet as the two go back and forth.
Once everyone reaches the restaurant, the drama switches to new frenemies (using that term very loosely), Shannon and Heather and #Chairgate really heats up. The whole thing is so stupid. Apparently, Heather sits down between Vicki and Shannon, Vicki wants to sit by Shannon so she makes Heather move down. We all know that Heather loves taking orders, but instead of getting upset at Vicki, she gets upset at Shannon. When Shannon gets up to go to the bathroom, Heather takes her chair back, Shannon yells at Heather coming back from the bathroom, which again, Heather is not a big fan of. Shannon wasn't "screaming" like Heather claims, she was raising her voice, and I'm not sure she was scary. Sorry, Heather, I love you, but it's hard for me to defend any of... this. The whole thing is so idiotic and childish that I can't believe I've had to write about any of the above, so I'm going to move on.
Vicki tries to ease tensions with tequilia, because if there is one thing that alcohol does in a tense situation is calm things down. Vicki orders a round, but the bar only brings five shots, so Lizzie is left without one, which she takes as a snub. The hilarious thing about it is, even though that is something that Vicki would totally do, she actually didn't do it on purpose this time. I can't blame Lizzie for not believing her though, especially after what went down in the limo.
So, did you guys think the chair thing was as dumb as I did? Are Heather and Shannon going to be at each other's throats for the rest of the season? Do you think that Vicki knows how ridiculously offensive she is? Was anyone surprised that Shannon has received lots of "she's loco" looks? Let me know in the comments.
No comments:
Post a Comment