The Real Housewives of New York City, Episode 1: "If You Can Make It Here"
It's been almost two years, but Tuesday night marked the triumphant return on the ladies of the Big Apple. If you read this blog, you know that I am an avid viewer of the various Real Housewives franchises and I have to say the NYC ladies are my favorites. They don't take themselves too seriously and they are funny. I was worried when I heard about their salary disputes with Bravo and I was worried that for the second time in two seasons there might be another dramatic cast overhaul. Luckily, the ladies got their shit together and we are finally getting to enjoy their craziness. Speaking of craziness, can we talk about those new taglines. They are everything! All the franchises should just embrace the ridiculata like the NYC wives have done. Now, let's check in with each of the ladies and their fabulous new tag lines.
Carole: "If you're going to talk about me behind my back, at least check out my great ass."
Carole was sort of an odd edition to the franchise when she debuted as one of three all new 'Wives last season. She was a princess. She wrote a critically acclaimed memoir talking about the deaths of her husband and her close friends, John F. Kennedy, Jr. and Carolyn Bessette. She was a successful writer and was the very picture of a cool, uptown New York woman. You could tell that she was constantly amused by the antics of the boozy, somewhat uptight women that were her new friends. You could tell though that as the season wound down, Carole had reached the end of her rope. We join Carole at the cover shoot for her book, The Widow's Guide to Sex and Dating. I don't write professionally, but maybe it's normal for a book to publish a year after the party celebrating it's publication. Who knows? You know what I do know? That Carole wrote every word herself. More on that next week.
Carole was pretty low key this week, which is normal. We found out that she broke up with Russ and is ready to go back on the prowl. Or at least ready to have some more awesome first dates that don't lead to a second. It was also nice to see her unleash Heather on everyone, so she didn't have to confront anything. I can appreciate that, because that is my M.O. most of the time. Just so you know, I love Carole. I'm not sure how she ended up with these crazies, but I think she is beautiful and stylish and all around amazing. The only thing the episode teased was her friction with Aviva which was shown by her ignoring Aviva's phone call and their icy interaction at Heather's bday party. Based on the previews for tonight's episode, this is going to blow up into all out war and I can't wait.
Heather: "A true New Yorker never backs down, and I'm no exception. Holla!"
Heather was not really much of a factor in this episode. She was kind of just a catalyst for things to happen. Though we did see the seeds of her "Heather bosses everyone around" storyline being planted as she took control of Carole's photoshoot. I was almost positive that photographer was going to clock Heather upside the head at any moment. I wondered if Heather has any employees at Yummie or if she just does everything herself and Bravo just hires extras to fill out her office when she has to film there. Then we got to see some of Bad Boy Heather as she attends her birthday party. It was so funny to see these people dressed in business casual getting street. I was a fan.
Kristen: "I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm pretty!"
It's time to meet the newest Housewife on the block. Kristen is a friend of Brandi Glanville's and she is funny and beautiful and weird, as Carole points out, which is pretty awesome. She makes blowjob jokes with her husband. She is honest when it comes to the realities of parenthood and she doesn't make any excuses when it comes to having a nanny. She also gets The Real Housewives of NYC version of hazing by having tea with Sonja and Ramona by herself. Poor girl. I definitely think that she deserves a medal for that.
Sonja: "Sometimes Sonja has to go commando. What can I say?"
Is it wrong that I sort of feel sorry for Sonja? I know what you're going to say. Why? She's got interns and hot young boyfriends. But what does she have that matters. Her apartment is crumbling down around her. She's probably going to lose it. She has all these endeavors, projects, clothing lines, that never seem to get off the ground. She's been talking about this toaster oven thing since she started on the show and that was when Bethenny was a regular cast member. I think that she just puts on this show like she's happy and content and continues her co-dependent relationship with Ramona and inside I think she's dying. That's not to say that she's not a hoot, she totally is. I just wonder if she's hiding something. She is boning a 23 year old named Benjamin, but we're not supposed to know how old he is. She is also still maybe having sex with Aviva's ex-husband, Harry Durbin. So, there's that.
Ramona: "Get the Pinot ready, because it's Turtle Time."
This season, Ramona is resolved to be a kindler, gentler crazy eyes. She's not going to verbalize every thought that pops into her head. I'm sure that'll last like two, three episodes tops. Ramonja was in full effect from the beginning of the episode with Ramona accusing Sonja of stealing her haircut. These women are just like your crazy, drunk, codependent aunts, Kristen. I think the reason they get along so well is because neither one listens to the other, they just talk over one another and since they both enjoy the sound of their own voice so much it works. Ramona is also struggling with the fact that her daughter Avery will be heading to college in the fall. She's also struggling with the fact that her husband is a lecherous douchebag who is probably cheating on her as she has tea with Sonja. Ramona spent most of the episode filled with anxiety about the prospect of seeing Aviva again. She had reason to be nervous. Aviva was determined to get back on Ramona's good side no matter what.
Aviva: "When people tell me I'm fake, I know they're just pulling my leg."
No one likes Aviva. And why would you? She is a walking amalgamation of ridiculous anxieties and ridiculata who never misses a chance to tell anyone who maybe glances at her feet that she has a fake leg and tell the entire gory story. Now, she is writing a book about it, just so she makes sure that everyone knows. She also knows that it's time to film, so it's time to start mending fences. She seems very keen to make up with the woman she had the most friction with last year, supposed alcoholic, unhealthy friendship having, white trash, Ramona. She was like an air time seeking missile. At Heather's party, she made a beeline for She with the Bug Eyes, but not before she stopped by Carole to ask for writing advice. Ramona was skeptical, but after some prompting to forgive and forget by Sonja, Ramona agreed to meet Queen Aviva for a drink. Aviva is all smiles and tequila shots, but let's not forget this is the woman who thought that it was OK to pattern her apology after Rush Limbaugh. She's up to something and I don't like it. Steer clear, Ramona.
So, what did you guys think? Were you surprised about Aviva's determination to be buddy buddy with Ramona again? Is Heather a little too aggressive? Do you feel a little sorry for Sonja? Is Kristen as awesome as I think she is? Do you love Carole as much as I do or am I wearing Carole colored glasses? Let me know in the comments.
Kristen: "I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm pretty!"
It's time to meet the newest Housewife on the block. Kristen is a friend of Brandi Glanville's and she is funny and beautiful and weird, as Carole points out, which is pretty awesome. She makes blowjob jokes with her husband. She is honest when it comes to the realities of parenthood and she doesn't make any excuses when it comes to having a nanny. She also gets The Real Housewives of NYC version of hazing by having tea with Sonja and Ramona by herself. Poor girl. I definitely think that she deserves a medal for that.
Sonja: "Sometimes Sonja has to go commando. What can I say?"
Is it wrong that I sort of feel sorry for Sonja? I know what you're going to say. Why? She's got interns and hot young boyfriends. But what does she have that matters. Her apartment is crumbling down around her. She's probably going to lose it. She has all these endeavors, projects, clothing lines, that never seem to get off the ground. She's been talking about this toaster oven thing since she started on the show and that was when Bethenny was a regular cast member. I think that she just puts on this show like she's happy and content and continues her co-dependent relationship with Ramona and inside I think she's dying. That's not to say that she's not a hoot, she totally is. I just wonder if she's hiding something. She is boning a 23 year old named Benjamin, but we're not supposed to know how old he is. She is also still maybe having sex with Aviva's ex-husband, Harry Durbin. So, there's that.
Ramona: "Get the Pinot ready, because it's Turtle Time."
This season, Ramona is resolved to be a kindler, gentler crazy eyes. She's not going to verbalize every thought that pops into her head. I'm sure that'll last like two, three episodes tops. Ramonja was in full effect from the beginning of the episode with Ramona accusing Sonja of stealing her haircut. These women are just like your crazy, drunk, codependent aunts, Kristen. I think the reason they get along so well is because neither one listens to the other, they just talk over one another and since they both enjoy the sound of their own voice so much it works. Ramona is also struggling with the fact that her daughter Avery will be heading to college in the fall. She's also struggling with the fact that her husband is a lecherous douchebag who is probably cheating on her as she has tea with Sonja. Ramona spent most of the episode filled with anxiety about the prospect of seeing Aviva again. She had reason to be nervous. Aviva was determined to get back on Ramona's good side no matter what.
Aviva: "When people tell me I'm fake, I know they're just pulling my leg."
No one likes Aviva. And why would you? She is a walking amalgamation of ridiculous anxieties and ridiculata who never misses a chance to tell anyone who maybe glances at her feet that she has a fake leg and tell the entire gory story. Now, she is writing a book about it, just so she makes sure that everyone knows. She also knows that it's time to film, so it's time to start mending fences. She seems very keen to make up with the woman she had the most friction with last year, supposed alcoholic, unhealthy friendship having, white trash, Ramona. She was like an air time seeking missile. At Heather's party, she made a beeline for She with the Bug Eyes, but not before she stopped by Carole to ask for writing advice. Ramona was skeptical, but after some prompting to forgive and forget by Sonja, Ramona agreed to meet Queen Aviva for a drink. Aviva is all smiles and tequila shots, but let's not forget this is the woman who thought that it was OK to pattern her apology after Rush Limbaugh. She's up to something and I don't like it. Steer clear, Ramona.
So, what did you guys think? Were you surprised about Aviva's determination to be buddy buddy with Ramona again? Is Heather a little too aggressive? Do you feel a little sorry for Sonja? Is Kristen as awesome as I think she is? Do you love Carole as much as I do or am I wearing Carole colored glasses? Let me know in the comments.
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