The Real Housewives of New York City Recap: When Is a Memoir an E-Mail or an Essay?

The Real Housewives of New York City, Episode 2: "Give Up the Ghostwriter"

Carole hit the nail on the head at the end of this episode when she made the comment that "The woman (Aviva) is literally deranged."  I don't make a habit of calling women crazy.  I think it's a low blow and a way to really make a logical woman fly off the handle.  In this case, though, I think Aviva might be nuts.  More likely, she is embracing the role of villain and she has decided to make Carole, someone she fawned over and idolized all last season, her arch nemesis.  I've watched it twice and I'm still not sure what is going on.  Let's dive deep into #BookGate.

Carole met Aviva for lunch and you could tell that the Princess was not feeling it.  She was visibly uncomfortable and her interaction with Aviva felt really forced.  If Queen Aviva noticed anything was amiss with her soon to be fallen idol, she didn't let on.  She was chatty and weird and creepy and made that pasta joke she makes whenever she sees Carole.  I can't even remember how it originated, but it's one of those inside jokes that desparate people make up to prove how good of friends they are with someone that they really want to like them.  She admits to "single white female'ing" Carole when it comes to her reading glasses.  Now, if you one of your legit friends was joking with you about something like this, it wouldn't be a big deal.  It's obvious that Aviva is aping Carole to try to be cool and I'm worried that Aviva might murder Carole and wear her skin.

Now, let's get to the meat of this argument.  Carole simply asks Aviva if she hired a ghostwriter to help her pen her memoir.  She's not condescending about it.  It's a valid question.  Aviva doesn't write professionally.  So, it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility that Aviva may have gotten some outside help.  Aviva is instantly offended, so she throws it back at Carole.  Carole is incensed by this.  You have to realize, writers take pride in what they do.  There is this misconception that anyone can be a good writer, but it takes skill and you have to work at it.  You can't just pick up a pen or sit down at a laptop and write something brilliant.  It's not like writing a long e-mail, Aviva.  Writing a memoir is not the same thing as writing an essay for Chicken Soup for the Soul.

The ladies retire to their respective corners and tell their sides to their posses.  Carole meets Heather and Kristen in Central Park, while Aviva meets Ramona to learn about wine.  This whole sequence just makes Aviva look worse.  She lets Ramona know that her publisher gave her all this dirt on Carole and her ghost writer and how they rejected her novel.  It seems really sketchy to me that some publisher would give Aviva all this information on Carole's memoir.  It's really unprofessional and it seems like Aviva is making all this up.  She's trying to convince Ramona to be on her side and it's working?  It's really hard to tell with Ramona.  I think she enjoys the drama, as long as she is not involved in it.

Amidst the BookGate drama, we were subject to a little interlude between Kristen and Heather and their respective spouses.  Things got a little real, as the mothers chatted about some adversities their children were going through.  Kristen's daughter, Kingsley, has to have leg braces to help her get moving and Heather shared the issues that her son, Jax, has had due to his organ donations.  It was nice to see Kristen not try to one up Heather.  So far, I really like Kristen.  She is kind of a breath of fresh air.  I was nervous when I found out she was good buddies with Brandi Glanville, but so far, I'm a fan.

Sonja is not just dating a 12 year-old 23-year-old, she is also dating Aviva's ex, Harry Durbin.  Sidebar: how appropriate to talk about your dad's "fuck buddy" in front of  your pre-teen son?  I think you need to drop this air of being better than everyone Queen Aviva.  Your crown is showing some tarnish.  That being said, I do like Harry.  He seems like a cool guy and I think he and Sonja would complement each other.  I liked how he called Sonja out when she was going on and on about all these imaginary businesses and irons she had in the fire.  Sonja and Kristen also got spray tans together, which was super awkward, but kind of funny.  There was also a dose of Sonja Sadness as we got a scene of her scribbling on her Chanel bags with a black Sharpie.  Is one of Sonja's interns Megan McCain?  Seriously, that blonde, slightly chubby intern looks just like her.  I wouldn't be surprised.

So, Aviva decides to have a housewarming for her new apartment and all the ladies are invited.  There is some awkward back and forth between Sonja, Aviva, Reid, and Harry about how Harry used to fuck Aviva on their bed and how Sonja thinks they should christen it.  It even makes Ramona uncomfortable.  That is how you know you've crossed a line.  Carole shows up and Ramona takes that oppurtunity to let Carole know that Aviva has been telling everyone that Carole's book was ghost written.  Carole takes Aviva upstairs and the fireworks begin.

The whole thing is so ridiculous.  Aviva is grasping at straws the entire time.  She is so deseparate at one moment she pulls out Kelly Bensimon's "I'm up here, you're down here" from her season two confrontation with Bethenny.  I don't think any of the other Housewives franchises have self referenced before.  It was crazy to see Carole act like a Housewife for the first time since she's been on the show.  For the most part, Carole stays above the fray, detached from what's going on, just making pithy bon mots during her interviews.  Carole gets down and dirty though and you can tell that she is flabbergasted at the accusations being thrown at her by Aviva.  I can't imagine how anyone could be on  Aviva's side after this.

I know people are going to be upset about Carole's "You've never worked outside the home" comment.  I don't think that Carole was trying to bad mouth stay at home mom's, I think she was simply trying to point out that Aviva had no idea how harmful these allegations were to someone who has made a living as a writer for twenty years.  It's not big deal to Aviva.  It's a huge deal to Carole.

So, what did you all think?  Whose side are you on?  Did Ramona stir the pot a little?  Let me know in the comments.