The Real Housewives of New York City, Episode 5: "Everybody Thinks We're Drag Queens"
This episode we got more information about what happened when Aviva lost her leg. This may sound callous, but I'm kind of over it. Yes, it's terrible and yes, it's great that she does things for other amputees, but I always get the feeling that her motives are not altogether altruistic. It seems like she's not doing it for others, she's doing it to make herself look good. In fact, after the whole BookGate thing, this episode really seemed geared towards viewers having more goodwill towards Aviva. Well, it didn't really work for this viewer.
We join LuAnn's hot mess barbecue already in progress. Heather is following Amanda through Lu's house egging her on. Heather really wants this chick to deck her. Once Heather is turnt up, she is turnt all the way up and I pity anyone who gets in her way. Heather stalks Amanda throughout the house. There's Amanda, there's Heather. There's Amanda, there's Heather. I did think it was pretty hilarious when Heather called Amanda loud, obnoxious, drunk and that she had opinions about everything. Um... Heather, I love ya, but maybe you should be careful in your glass house there.
Amanda somehow gets away from and stumbles back over to Aviva and Carole who are still having the same conversation over and over again. Heather stomps back over to get Amanda out of the conversation. The other ladies are trying to distract, LuAnn with dessert and Sonja by letting everyone know that she isn't wearing panties. Aviva and Carole finally disengage, but Aviva can't help getting some more digs in. Aviva's big insult is that Carole isn't a well wisher. Who cares? Is that really such a bad thing? Heather hears this and is back at it again. This time Aviva is on the receiving end of her ire. She's trying to get Aviva to shut it down, but Aviva is again telling the story about how she heard from this book editor and then Reid is jumping in. Shut up, Reid. Why are you talking? Why are you getting involved in this? Let Peg Leg fight her own battles, seriously.
Heather has had it. The angrier she gets, the more street she gets until she finally tells Aviva not to tell her anything, punctuated with a motherfucker. Once the word "motherfucker" starts getting thrown around, the Countess decides enough is enough and kicks her guests out. Politely. She did write an eitquette book for goodness sake.
Whew. Well, after that mess, we could definitely use some lighter moments, so what better time for another installment of "Sonja is Sad." The next day it's time for Sonja to throw a barbecue at her friend's Hampton house. Now, are we sure that this is really the house of someone Sonja knows? I wouldn't be surprised if she had her interns scope out a house that was not in use and have them break in. Can you imagine? Someone just chilling watching Bravo and all of a sudden they realize that their house is on TV. It would be hilarious.
All the Housewives minus Heather and Aviva and Ramona who is still in Africa make an appearance at Sonja's barbecue. So, does Harry and I have to say that Sonja comes off a little desparate when she is showing off her, admittedly hot, bikini bod to Harry and talking about how she takes testoserone to keep herself young and juicy. Oy. Down Sonja. Seriously. Harry isn't that great.
Aviva doesn't miss a shot to let everyone know how great her memoir i.e. her is. She is so strong and so raw. She lets it all out in the open. She is so amazing! You don't even know, but you soon will. The spotlight is yanked away from Aviva when Sonja's tooth fell out!! It was hilarious. First off, Sonja has a fake tooth? Who knew? I also loved how she just kind of took it in stride. I never thought that I would hear a debate about which denture adhesive is the best on a Housewives episode and the Countess was certainly taken aback, to the point where she may be adding an addendum to "Class with the Countess," her book. So, good news all ten of you who bought it, you may have a reason to buy a new copy. Yay?
Sonja and Aviva meet up at some crazy science fiction dermatologists office to re-hash what happened at LuAnn's party. What the hell do these women do to themselves? I really want to believe that Sonja does not inject blood in herself, but at this point if Sonja said that she bathed in the blood of virgins I would believe it. Aviva spends some time spouting some hyperbole about how attacked she felt by Heather at the party, the worst being when she tells Sonja that she was "verbally raped." You should never throw around the word rape. It's unacceptable and ridiculous and it just makes me dislike Aviva even more than I already do. I wasn't sure that was possible, but good on Aviva for surpassing my expectations.
Carole is trying to leave Lu's BBQ in the dust and prepare for the Coney Island Mermaid Parade. Carole is the queen and Judah Friedlander from 30 Rock is the king. The Coney Island Mermaid Parade is the official kick off to the summer season and it's especially important this year after Superstorm Sandy. It was nice to see Kristen, Heather, LuAnn and Sonja out supporting Carole and embracing their inner drag queens and I especially liked it when Sonja poked LuAnn in the eye with her umbrella and Carole wrote a nice poem for herself and the ladies. Despite being called Karen during her crowning it was a nice moment for Carole.
Aviva is ecstatic because she has been contacted by Becky Morgan, the girl who caused the accident and saved her life. I mean, it was no one's fault. Aviva doesn't hold blame. Just ignore how she is quick to remind us that it was Becky's idea to ride the conveyor belt, but it's water under the bridge. No one's to blame. So, you're twisting her arm and forcing her to point the finger, then she guesses that if anyone is at fault, it's Becky, but she doesn't think about it that way.
The whole sequence is so ridiculous and Aviva just comes off looking terrible. I'm sure that in her mind she is this selfless hero, confronting her demons and her fears, but really, she just looks like someone who knows that she is coming off looking terribly and this is a last ditch effort, playing on a tragedy that she has fallen back on time and again to try and drum up sympathy from an audience that has already moved on from her.
So, what did you all think? Is Heather out of line? Which denture adhesive do you think Sonja should use? Am I being to harsh on Aviva? Do you hope Amanda will never return? Let me know in the comments.
Amanda somehow gets away from and stumbles back over to Aviva and Carole who are still having the same conversation over and over again. Heather stomps back over to get Amanda out of the conversation. The other ladies are trying to distract, LuAnn with dessert and Sonja by letting everyone know that she isn't wearing panties. Aviva and Carole finally disengage, but Aviva can't help getting some more digs in. Aviva's big insult is that Carole isn't a well wisher. Who cares? Is that really such a bad thing? Heather hears this and is back at it again. This time Aviva is on the receiving end of her ire. She's trying to get Aviva to shut it down, but Aviva is again telling the story about how she heard from this book editor and then Reid is jumping in. Shut up, Reid. Why are you talking? Why are you getting involved in this? Let Peg Leg fight her own battles, seriously.
Heather has had it. The angrier she gets, the more street she gets until she finally tells Aviva not to tell her anything, punctuated with a motherfucker. Once the word "motherfucker" starts getting thrown around, the Countess decides enough is enough and kicks her guests out. Politely. She did write an eitquette book for goodness sake.
Whew. Well, after that mess, we could definitely use some lighter moments, so what better time for another installment of "Sonja is Sad." The next day it's time for Sonja to throw a barbecue at her friend's Hampton house. Now, are we sure that this is really the house of someone Sonja knows? I wouldn't be surprised if she had her interns scope out a house that was not in use and have them break in. Can you imagine? Someone just chilling watching Bravo and all of a sudden they realize that their house is on TV. It would be hilarious.
All the Housewives minus Heather and Aviva and Ramona who is still in Africa make an appearance at Sonja's barbecue. So, does Harry and I have to say that Sonja comes off a little desparate when she is showing off her, admittedly hot, bikini bod to Harry and talking about how she takes testoserone to keep herself young and juicy. Oy. Down Sonja. Seriously. Harry isn't that great.
Aviva doesn't miss a shot to let everyone know how great her memoir i.e. her is. She is so strong and so raw. She lets it all out in the open. She is so amazing! You don't even know, but you soon will. The spotlight is yanked away from Aviva when Sonja's tooth fell out!! It was hilarious. First off, Sonja has a fake tooth? Who knew? I also loved how she just kind of took it in stride. I never thought that I would hear a debate about which denture adhesive is the best on a Housewives episode and the Countess was certainly taken aback, to the point where she may be adding an addendum to "Class with the Countess," her book. So, good news all ten of you who bought it, you may have a reason to buy a new copy. Yay?
Sonja and Aviva meet up at some crazy science fiction dermatologists office to re-hash what happened at LuAnn's party. What the hell do these women do to themselves? I really want to believe that Sonja does not inject blood in herself, but at this point if Sonja said that she bathed in the blood of virgins I would believe it. Aviva spends some time spouting some hyperbole about how attacked she felt by Heather at the party, the worst being when she tells Sonja that she was "verbally raped." You should never throw around the word rape. It's unacceptable and ridiculous and it just makes me dislike Aviva even more than I already do. I wasn't sure that was possible, but good on Aviva for surpassing my expectations.
Carole is trying to leave Lu's BBQ in the dust and prepare for the Coney Island Mermaid Parade. Carole is the queen and Judah Friedlander from 30 Rock is the king. The Coney Island Mermaid Parade is the official kick off to the summer season and it's especially important this year after Superstorm Sandy. It was nice to see Kristen, Heather, LuAnn and Sonja out supporting Carole and embracing their inner drag queens and I especially liked it when Sonja poked LuAnn in the eye with her umbrella and Carole wrote a nice poem for herself and the ladies. Despite being called Karen during her crowning it was a nice moment for Carole.
Aviva is ecstatic because she has been contacted by Becky Morgan, the girl who caused the accident and saved her life. I mean, it was no one's fault. Aviva doesn't hold blame. Just ignore how she is quick to remind us that it was Becky's idea to ride the conveyor belt, but it's water under the bridge. No one's to blame. So, you're twisting her arm and forcing her to point the finger, then she guesses that if anyone is at fault, it's Becky, but she doesn't think about it that way.
The whole sequence is so ridiculous and Aviva just comes off looking terrible. I'm sure that in her mind she is this selfless hero, confronting her demons and her fears, but really, she just looks like someone who knows that she is coming off looking terribly and this is a last ditch effort, playing on a tragedy that she has fallen back on time and again to try and drum up sympathy from an audience that has already moved on from her.
So, what did you all think? Is Heather out of line? Which denture adhesive do you think Sonja should use? Am I being to harsh on Aviva? Do you hope Amanda will never return? Let me know in the comments.
No comments:
Post a Comment