The Real Housewives of Miami, Episode 5: "A Cause for Concern"
Lines are drawn in this episode and Alexia is caught between two worlds. She wants to remain neutral in the war between the Cubans and Lea Black, but unfortunately, Switzerland is not a recognized country in the Housewives United Nations. So, how did Alexia navigate the treacherous waters of "playing both sides?" Were there actual famous people at Lea's annual Black's Gala? Was anyone thinking of the children? Hit the jump to find out.
Lea is in full Black's Gala mode, getting things set up and confirming the celebrities (and I use that term loosely) that she has lined up to make appearances. Even with all this planning, she still finds time to call Alexia and browbeat her into attending the gala. You have to hand it to Lea, she is shameless. She doesn't even try to disguise what her intentions are. She wants Herman's money and she will flatter, cajole, guilt, do whatever it takes to get them both there. Remember where you got that Cuban Barbie nickname Alexia. The Mayor giveth and the Mayor can taketh away. If you don't want to be the Cuban Skipper, you best get your behind to the gala, sick or not.
Lea spent the first part of the episode working on seating arrangments, throwing shade at the women who weren't coming, and entertaining American Idol season five winner, Taylor Hicks, who was taking time from his busy schedule performing for change on streets and subways, to play some background harmonica during the gala. She also carved out some time to try on borrowed jewels and go full cougar on Tay Tay. I'd go for it, Hicks. What do you have to lose? Lea also met with her editor, or someone who she paid to pretend to be her editor, about her Miami socialite tell-all book. You remember, the one with the masturbation scene and the throbbing members?
At the Gala, Lea didn't slow down once. She felt up Lance Bass on the red carpet, got Scotch and sodas for Dennis Rodman, and let former Housewife and the only dentist to need a publicist, Karent Sierra, get some camera time. Joanna and her fake bangs made their sole appearance of the episode. Awkward auction alert! The charity auction was a hot mess, as Lea tried and failed to get top dollar for Emmy tickets and jewelry. It was Joanna to the rescue. Since she was hot and Polish, an old, not hot, but rich Polish woman, donated $10,000 in her honor. In the end, Flo Rida got the party started and when the shirt came off, Lea seemed to come down with a bad case of jungle fever. She didn't sound relieved when nothing else came off, she sounded a little disappointed.
Alexia decided to go to a gay polo match, the day of the Gala. She was joined by the "We Hate Lea" club consisiting of Adriana, Marysol, and Ana. Fabulous transgender woman, Lauren Foster, came along to represent for the gays. It was pretty tense from the jump, since Alexia neglected to tell the ladies that Herman had a car waiting to escort her to the Gala. When Alexia finally came clean, the other ladies acted like she was going to dinner with Fidel Castro. There was lots of guilt thrown at Alexia from Marysol and Adriana. Ana was the picture of passive aggression. Finally, Alexia had had enough, telling the women that this wasn't about Lea, but about needy children and they needed to grow up.
I was cheering for Alexia. I was proud of her for sticking to her guns and keeping her priorities straight. Alas, that was not to be. Guilt was nagging at Alexia all the way back to Miami, so she used her cold as a "Get Out of Gala Free" card, calling Lea and backing out. Oh, Alexia. Lea isn't perfect. She is loud, shameless, obnoxious, certainly. Your friends aren't really your friends if they draw lines and make you choose sides.
Oh, and Lisa and Lenny argued about their choice to use a surrogate, while Lisa microwaved something that looked like dog food. Gross. Also, Lenny is going to try to play peacemaker between Frederic and Romain. Just call Lisa and Lenny the Mediators. Excuse me while I roll my eyes.
So, what did you all think? Did Alexia make the right choice? Are Marysol, Adriana and Ana being fair to Lea? Are you on board with Lauren being the first trans Housewife of the franchise? Does anyone care about Lisa? Sound off in the comments.
Lea is in full Black's Gala mode, getting things set up and confirming the celebrities (and I use that term loosely) that she has lined up to make appearances. Even with all this planning, she still finds time to call Alexia and browbeat her into attending the gala. You have to hand it to Lea, she is shameless. She doesn't even try to disguise what her intentions are. She wants Herman's money and she will flatter, cajole, guilt, do whatever it takes to get them both there. Remember where you got that Cuban Barbie nickname Alexia. The Mayor giveth and the Mayor can taketh away. If you don't want to be the Cuban Skipper, you best get your behind to the gala, sick or not.
Lea spent the first part of the episode working on seating arrangments, throwing shade at the women who weren't coming, and entertaining American Idol season five winner, Taylor Hicks, who was taking time from his busy schedule performing for change on streets and subways, to play some background harmonica during the gala. She also carved out some time to try on borrowed jewels and go full cougar on Tay Tay. I'd go for it, Hicks. What do you have to lose? Lea also met with her editor, or someone who she paid to pretend to be her editor, about her Miami socialite tell-all book. You remember, the one with the masturbation scene and the throbbing members?
At the Gala, Lea didn't slow down once. She felt up Lance Bass on the red carpet, got Scotch and sodas for Dennis Rodman, and let former Housewife and the only dentist to need a publicist, Karent Sierra, get some camera time. Joanna and her fake bangs made their sole appearance of the episode. Awkward auction alert! The charity auction was a hot mess, as Lea tried and failed to get top dollar for Emmy tickets and jewelry. It was Joanna to the rescue. Since she was hot and Polish, an old, not hot, but rich Polish woman, donated $10,000 in her honor. In the end, Flo Rida got the party started and when the shirt came off, Lea seemed to come down with a bad case of jungle fever. She didn't sound relieved when nothing else came off, she sounded a little disappointed.
Alexia decided to go to a gay polo match, the day of the Gala. She was joined by the "We Hate Lea" club consisiting of Adriana, Marysol, and Ana. Fabulous transgender woman, Lauren Foster, came along to represent for the gays. It was pretty tense from the jump, since Alexia neglected to tell the ladies that Herman had a car waiting to escort her to the Gala. When Alexia finally came clean, the other ladies acted like she was going to dinner with Fidel Castro. There was lots of guilt thrown at Alexia from Marysol and Adriana. Ana was the picture of passive aggression. Finally, Alexia had had enough, telling the women that this wasn't about Lea, but about needy children and they needed to grow up.
I was cheering for Alexia. I was proud of her for sticking to her guns and keeping her priorities straight. Alas, that was not to be. Guilt was nagging at Alexia all the way back to Miami, so she used her cold as a "Get Out of Gala Free" card, calling Lea and backing out. Oh, Alexia. Lea isn't perfect. She is loud, shameless, obnoxious, certainly. Your friends aren't really your friends if they draw lines and make you choose sides.
Oh, and Lisa and Lenny argued about their choice to use a surrogate, while Lisa microwaved something that looked like dog food. Gross. Also, Lenny is going to try to play peacemaker between Frederic and Romain. Just call Lisa and Lenny the Mediators. Excuse me while I roll my eyes.
So, what did you all think? Did Alexia make the right choice? Are Marysol, Adriana and Ana being fair to Lea? Are you on board with Lauren being the first trans Housewife of the franchise? Does anyone care about Lisa? Sound off in the comments.
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