Thursday, October 3, 2013

Glee Fifth Season Premiere Recap: Love Is All You Need?

Glee, Episode 1: "Love, Love, Love"


It's a new day for Fox's musical dramedy.  This is the first Finn-less episode.  I know what you're thinking.  Finn was absent for the last few episodes of season four.  You are correct.  There was still a chance he would come back though.  This is an era where in just two short episodes we will be saying good-bye to him for good.  The season premiere ignored Finn all completely to focus on some dangling loose ends from last season and to celebrate the greatest band of all time, The Beatles.  While, the episode was pretty upbeat, a dark cloud hung over the whole proceedings, since we know what's to come.  So, what happened?  Hit the jump for more.

At McKinley, it is Beatlemania, as Will announces to the kids that they will be embarking on a two week Beatles lesson.  Despite Kitty's protestations that no one can relate to The Beatles (cue eye roll, followed by sad realization that there are probably lots of high school kids nodding their heads in agreement), the rest of New Directions are psyched.

Artie and Kitty are continuing their flirtation from the end of last season, singing in the halls and having fun at a carnival.  It's all good until some of Kitty's fellow Cheerios notice the pair and make some comments and Instagram some pics.  Kitty suggests that they conduct their relationship on the down low "like secret gay conservatives do."  Artie agrees, but you can tell he's not super into it.  The two continue their flirtation in the halls, but they aren't fooling Tina.  Tina confronts Artie in the hallway.  She gives him a pretty impassioned, sweet speech, but he tells her to butt out.  Tina doesn't do that.  Instead, she outs the two to the rest of New Directions.  In a surprising move, Kitty shows that she has a heart, telling everyone that she wanted to wait to make sure that she had real feelings for Artie before going public.  She even apologizes(!) to Artie for making him keep the secret.  It's Facebook official, y'all!

Speaking of Tina, Blaine called Sam, Jake, and Ryder together because he was worried about how angry Tina had become.  She was the only member of the Too Young To Be Bitter club.  After going through Tina's lackluster dating history, the boys decide to perform a Ed Sullivan style Beatles show for Tina, which didn't make much sense.  Once it was over, Tina, and viewers, were left scratching their heads.  So, prom is coming up and the boys minus Jake are offering Tina their hands?  I guess.  Tina chooses Sam.  New couple alert?

Sue Sylvester is back stalking the halls of McKinley now that Becky has confessed to being the one who shot the gun, but she is no longer Cheerios coach, instead she has stolen the principalship from Figgins.  Sue did this in a typical Sue way.  She broke into Figgins office and planted "gambling reciepts, porno mags, gay porno mags, gay foot fetish porn, a polygamist marriage certificate, a bill of sale granting campus drilling rights to a fracking company, and an autographed copy of Mein Kampf."  

 I know what you're thinking, there is no way that a school district would allow someone to become principal after they aided in the cover up of a student firing a gun in school, but you have to remember that this is Glee and their logic does not resemble our Earth logic.  If Sue is able to eclipse Figgins, there is a good chance that she will become principal full time.  

She calls Will and Coach Roz into her office.  They both assume that she is going to try and disband their respective clubs, because she hates Will and the glee club and because Roz stole the Cheerios from her.  Also, Roz has some skeletons in her closet.  It turns out that her bronze medal for individual synchronized swimming could have came from a mixture of performance enhancing drugs and weed.  Her condo may be being paid for by an old woman in Florida.  She may have a buttload of credit card fraud, and she may have just drove her Lexus off the lot without paying for it.  It turns out that Sue wants to keep the clubs around, as long as they win National championships, making her look good and allowing her to keep the principal job.  This was a nice change to Sue's normal motivations.  No pressure though, guys.

Blaine is still planning on proposing to Kurt.  The first step in his plan, they officially get back together.  It's a very sweet scene even though I am completely against Kurt's horrid neckerchief.  The whole episode Blaine works on his proposal plan.  He and New Directions recruit competing show choirs, Vocal Adrenaline, the Haverbrook School for the Deaf, and the Warblers to help him make the proposal extra special.  

Kurt figures out what is going on and has a heart to heart with Burt on his way to Dalton Academy.  Burt, who was pretty against the proposal, reminisces with Kurt about marrying his mom when they were 22.  It seems like the good memories have softened his position on the whole thing.  He tells Kurt to hear Blaine out.

Proposal time!  It is quite the proposal.  Honestly, much like when Finn proposed to Rachel, I was pretty against any teenage marriage, but what Blaine did was pretty impressive.  Bringing in old friends (silent Mercedes cameo) and all the show choirs, plus the falling rose petals on the stairs at Dalton where he and Kurt met.  After hearing Blaine's heartfelt, soul mate speech, it was no surprise that Kurt said yes.  I was saying yes sitting on my couch.  I wouldn't start sending out invites  yet though, because I'm pretty sure I saw a look of doubt flash across Kurt's face.

In New York, Rachel was killing it at her Funny Girl callback, reading with star, Ioan Gruffudd and director Peter Facinelli.  The reading is cut short and Rachel is sent on her way.  She overhears them talking about her lack of experience and wondering if Claire Danes is available.  Claire Danes?  Who are these guys?

It's not all bad news.  Thanks to flashing some side boob to manager, Gunther, Santana has gotten Rachel a job as a singing waitress at the Spotlight Diner, right off of Broadway.  She just can't mention to Gunther that she is a Jew.  Working at the restaurant works out in Rachel's favor, when Ioan and Peter sit in Santana's section.  Rachel shows them that she's a star, by doing a song and dance number for them.  Was it just me or did the guys seem to be paying Santana a lot of attention?  How awesome would it be to watch Santana and Rachel compete for the same role?

Grading the Performances

"Yesterday" Gorgeous rendition of The Beatles classic by Rachel as she leaves her audition.  There were definitely some sad undertones.  I'm sure I'm not the only one whose heart broke a little when Lea sang the line "Why he had to go I don't know...  A solid A.

"Drive My Car" The first of two Kitty/Artie duets.  It was a fun number.  I liked the scene at the carnival, Kitty and Artie in the bumper cars, winning stuffed animals.  I'm not sure that this was the best song for their voices to blend, but all in all, I'd give it a B.

"Got to Get  You Into My Life"  I'm a sucker for a Klaine duet in the schoolyard.  It was nice that Kurt switched it up and sang to Blaine.  Of course, Blaine had to turn it into a duet.  I was feeling it and it was nice to see those two back together.  B+

"You've Got to Hide  Your Love Away"  The second Kitty/Artie duet of the episode and this is much better.  Their voices really blend together here and the scenes of the two of them sneaking around are adorable.  A-

"Help!"  This was a great moment.  I loved all the clubs coming together.  I especially loved the shout out to the deaf choir, which is one of my favorite rival glee clubs.  I also liked the re-appearance of Sebastian.  I'm still angry at him for what almost blinding my sweet, sweet, Blaine, but still, this was definitely an A.  

"A Hard Day's Night"  Can we have an episode that is just Rachel/Santana duets?  Please?  I loved it.  I liked the diner choreography, Rachel fliritng, their voices work really well together.  A-

"I Saw Her Standing There" This was a nice homage to The Fab Four during their Ed Sullivan days, complete with the female plus Unique members screaming at the foot of the stage in their sixties gear.  The boys acquitted themselves well.  B+

"All You Need Is Love" Isn't this how we all want to be proposed to?  It was super romantic, from all Kurt's friends, to taking him to the place they first met, topped off with the showers of rose petals.  Le sigh.  Of course this gets an A+.

Quotes

"Were The Beatles dyslexic and catfished by a transsexual?" - Kitty to Ryder.
"We're moving slower than Jonah Hill trying to get out of the bathtub." - Kitty
"Weren't Bethenny and Jason supposed to be forever." - Kurt (Amen, Lady Hummel)
"And you'll be forced to build creepy relationships with teenagers on your own time." - Sue to Will
"And you, you'll have to go back to being a full tiem spokesmodel for Billy Dee Williams Yellow Hair Helmets for Women Who Couldn't Possibly Be More Blonde." - Sue to Coach Roz
"Memoirs of a Lame Geisha." - Kitty to Tina

So, what did you guys think?  Are you ready for part 2?  Do you think Sue will stay principal?  Will Rachel be Fanny?  Do you want a Beckretary?  Are you dreading episode three?  Let me know in the comments.

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