Glee, Episode 2: "Tina in the Sky With Diamonds"
Glee continued honoring the Beatles with the second part of its tribute also known as stopgap to sadness. There was an even larger dark cloud hanging over this episode. I couldn't have been the only one waiting for Rachel to get a phone call about Finn during that closing number. It would be just like the writers to temper what is probably Rachel's happiest life moment thus far with her saddest. So, what went down? Hit the jump for more.
Sue announces that the decision had been made to bundle all the school dances together into one Brundle Prom. She then announced the nominees for prom king and queen. Some surprises in both categories. Sam was not nominated for king, but Blaine and Stoner Brett were. In the queen category, Kitty was nominated ("But I'm only a sophomore"), Neck Brace Cheerio, who has a name it turns out, Jordan, and last, but not least, Tina Cohen-Chang. This announcement turns Tina into a raging Asian She-Beast. She immediately disinvites Sam since he wasn't nominated for king and decides to go with a group of single gals so she can capture that elusive dejected female vote. She also exclaims that this will make her bigger than Jesus, a Beatles reference that came off really forced. Tina is feeling so triumphant that she bursts into "Revolution," but then the bell rings and everyone leaves in the middle of her number. Ha.
In NYC, love is in the air at the diner. Santana has caught the eye of a girl named Dani. Welcome, Demi Lovato! While Rachel bemoans that she'll never be Fanny and that her career is basically over before it's begun, Santana has great news. She scored her first acting gig in a Yeast-I-Stat commercial. Now, I could wax poetic about how the commercial was a pitch perfect parody of any feminine hygeiene commercial you've ever seen, from Santana skipping through a park with a ribbon on a stick to delivering lines like "I like yeast in my bagel, but not in my muffin." But why do that when I can just show it to you.
Priceless. Rachel is seething with jealousy, but she stamps that down and attempts to be happy for Santana. She congratulates Santana, but when they go in for a hug, you can see how can see in her eyes that she is utterly crushed.
Back at McKinley, Brie is still a part of the show and she is still terrible. Now, I know what you're thinking, Kitty was Brie last year. I'll grant you that, but Kitty was at least funny. She delivered some pretty good one-liners. Brie is just awful. Her verbal smackdown of Kitty in the hallway, a result of Kitty's decision not to campaign against Tina since she still has two years to be queen, is yawnworthy and you wonder why Kitty would kowtow to this bitch. And "a flying fart?" Seriously. I know you have to be creative when replacing curse words on network television, but let's never use that expression again.
In the choir room, Sue interrupts Will and "Samgelina Jolie," who is throwing himself a pity party due to the fact that he wasn't nominated for prom king, how not even Tina would go with him and he hasn't been able to keep a girlfriend. Don't despair, Trouty Mouth. There is always Blaine. I know you want to experiment. Blam 4 LIFE! Sue lets the boys know that she is instituting mandatory vaccinations and she is starting with the glee club due to their various inter dating. She is starting with the polio vaccine. When "Busted Timberfake" and "Imbecile Homeless Teen Drifter" attempt to interject their displeasure, Sue threatens to fire Will.
At NYADA, Kurt finds Rachel in the dance studio helping out with the annual piano tuning. She is deep in a state of ennui and Kurt attempts to lift his BFF out of her rejection induced funk.
Sam goes to confront his fear of needles and we are introduced to Student Nurse Penny. She is trying to figure out what to call the polio/meningitis cocktail. She's narrowed it down to polingitis or meningiolio. I didn't think it was possible once Brittany left, but it looks like Sam has met his intellectual equal. He is immediately smitten.
Tina still has her lackey -- er, Asian assistant, Dottie-- who is "helping" her with her prom queen campaign. The walls of McKinley are plastered with pictures of Kitty's head photoshopped onto Olivia Munn's body. The only one who notices that is Artie, because he reads Maxim, y'all. No one is buying Kitty's claims that she had nothing to do with it due to the habitual lying.
At the diner, Santana is getting her flirt on with Dani. Dani is the first legit lesbian that Santana has been interested in. In the past, there has only been bisexual Brittany and experimenting college girls. Santana isn't sure how to handle these feelings and it is making her get "that stinky panic sweat under my boobs." She confides all this to Rachel, who realizes that Santana is nervous and it is adorable. Santana tries to shut all that down but it is too late.
Sam is doing whatever he can to go to the nurses office including, but not limited to, biting himself. Blaine tries to give his bestie and not-so-secret crush some advice letting Trouty know that he has lots to offer the opposite sex. His impressions. And... his impressions. This lackluster pep talk is all it takes for Sam to stomp into Nurse Penny's office only to find that Sue has fired her for incompetence. Shocker. It turns out that she was giving one Cheerio a urine test and the other a vaccination. She got her vials mixed up and well, you know. No, Nurse Penny. I don't know. Please, elaborate. There is no way that Sam is letting the object of his affections go, so he drops trou and Nurse Penny gives her first successful shot. She also gets a peek at Sam's perky booty, so it's a win-win.
Sam heads to Sue's office with his posterior as proof of her competence. Sue knows that Trouty has a crush, but she ultimately chooses to keep Penny around because she needs someone new to torment. That, and she gave her two steroids instead of aspirin. Now, Sue can stop getting them from Mark Mcguire who is super needy. Looks like we'll be seing more of you Nurse Bumble McQuirkypoops.
Dottie is still campaigning hard for Tina using the charming slogan: "Vote for Tina, Don't Be Racist." Brie can see Dottie's discontent and sets her sights on Tina's lackey promising her a Cheerios uniform if she switches teams.
Back in the Big Apple, Rachel and Santana are concluding Rachel's first graveyard shift. Rachel is combing through Broadway magazine, bound and determined to audition for everything including "the role of Bottom in the Cape Cod Players Production of Midsummer and also, Annie Sullivan's landlady in the Miracle Worker now casting at the New Jersey Theater for the Deaf." She also decides to play lesbian matchmaker to Dani and Santana, leaving them alone together to watch the sunrise. After walking her home, Santana and Dani share their first kiss.
It's Brundle Prom time! Tina arrives, dateless ladies in tow. Could this be the rest of the Too Young to Be Bitter Club? Sam and Nurse Penny get their flirt on at the punch bowl, culminating with Sam asking her to dance. Should Jake have been carrying on the Puckerman tradition of spking the punch? Dottie is trying to back out of her plan to humiliate Tina should she win. It seems said plan involves a bucket of red slushie and Tina getting Carrie'd. Brie threatens to out Dottie as a 7th grade bed wetter if she tries to back out.
Wouldn't you know it, Tina and Stoner Brett are named prom queen and king. During Tina's big moment, she is Carrie'd. Kitty tries to stop it, but is too late. Adding insult to injury, the bucket conks Stoner Brett and knocks him out. Utterly humiliated, Tina retreats to the choir room with New Directions in tow.
At first, Tina wants to bolt, head hanging in shame. But with some encouragement from her best gay, Blaine and the Lennon/McCartney songbook Tina gets cleaned up and heads back to enjoy the rest of her senior prom. Not to be mean, but did anyone else laugh at the thought that Kitty's prom dress would fit Tina? Sorry. I'm an asshole.
On Monday, Coach Roz drags Brie into Sue's office by the ponytail. How do these people get away with this stuff?! She knows that Brie was behind the prank. Sue has no idea who Brie is even though she put her on the squad and "chocolate Cheerios" are not common. Coach Roz suggest Sue expel Brie, but Sue has other ideas. She tells Brie to continue to harrass and undermine the glee club because they do better with an enemy. She also feels that they no longer fear her, ever since she put on flannel and sang with them. She promotes Brie to head Cheerio and promises her a Le Car.
At the Diner, Santana has received payment for her commercial. It turns out that she waved all rights to residuals and instead was paid with a lifetime supply of Yeast-I-Stat. I loved the kind of throwaway moment when Gunther takes off with the box of Yeast-I-Stat. Kurt is working at the diner to get some seed money to starat his Madonna cover band. Rachel's confidence is back and they make a pact to stay in NYC for two years no matter what. Campion, Funny Girl's director, shows up in Rachel's section requesting a whole cake. He wants her to write on it, "Congratulations, Rachel Berry. You are Fanny Brice." Rachel understandably freaks out, cue party at Kurt and Rachel's.
Grading the Performances
"Get Back" Typically stellar vocals from Kurt and Rachel, and while I normally love a Kurt/Rachel duet this one left me feeling a little cold. I think it may have been the piano only arrangment. This is the kind of song that lives and dies by the hard driving guitar and drums. B
"Something" Sam's ode to Nurse Penny was sang well enough, but the whole thing was kind of ho hum. I did enjoy the montage of the mooning men of McKinley all lined up outside the pretty young nurse's office, waiting for their shots. B
"Here Comes the Sun" The first showstopper of the night for me was also Demi Lovato's first big musical moment. I really liked the blend of Naya Rivera and Demi Lovato's voices and it left me yearning for more duets to come. The literal setting was a little much. A
"Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" The New Directions are once again prom band and the bust out this deep cut from the album of the same name. I did enjoy the costumes and it was nice for the newbies to have some time to shine. B
"Hey Jude" One of the best songs of all time, sang by one of the show's most charismatic performers, set against a genuinely sweet scene. An easy A
"Let It Be" This was a great scene and a nice melding of each group, the kids in NYC and the New Directions. It was a touch maudlin, just because we know what is coming and I was sure that we'd get a Finn call, but I'm happy I was wrong. A+
Quotables
"I hate to interrupt the blatantly homoerotic overtones of whatever the two of you are on the verge of crying about." - Sue
"I love lady parts." - Dani
"I'm getting that stinky panic sweat under my boobs." - Santana
"I'm sorry, but your mouth is incredibly distracting. Please put a pair of white cotton panties over your head and cover up that horizontal, talking moose knuckle." - Sue
"Now, I'll admit that when the bucket of goo hit the Asian kid in the head it was hilarious. then, the bucket itself fell and hit the stoner kid in the head, knocked him straight to the ground. Priceless. Top notch entertainment. But that does not change the fact that this girl right here needs to understand that pulling hilarious, top notch pranks has consequences." - Coach Roz
"Although, I don't know whose toxic vagina would need that much of the stuff. I mean, if you're producing that much yeast, you should probably start a bakery." - Santana
"Guys, this is so great. It's like Smash Season 1" - Rachel
What are you thoughts? Reactions? Comment away.
Sue announces that the decision had been made to bundle all the school dances together into one Brundle Prom. She then announced the nominees for prom king and queen. Some surprises in both categories. Sam was not nominated for king, but Blaine and Stoner Brett were. In the queen category, Kitty was nominated ("But I'm only a sophomore"), Neck Brace Cheerio, who has a name it turns out, Jordan, and last, but not least, Tina Cohen-Chang. This announcement turns Tina into a raging Asian She-Beast. She immediately disinvites Sam since he wasn't nominated for king and decides to go with a group of single gals so she can capture that elusive dejected female vote. She also exclaims that this will make her bigger than Jesus, a Beatles reference that came off really forced. Tina is feeling so triumphant that she bursts into "Revolution," but then the bell rings and everyone leaves in the middle of her number. Ha.
In NYC, love is in the air at the diner. Santana has caught the eye of a girl named Dani. Welcome, Demi Lovato! While Rachel bemoans that she'll never be Fanny and that her career is basically over before it's begun, Santana has great news. She scored her first acting gig in a Yeast-I-Stat commercial. Now, I could wax poetic about how the commercial was a pitch perfect parody of any feminine hygeiene commercial you've ever seen, from Santana skipping through a park with a ribbon on a stick to delivering lines like "I like yeast in my bagel, but not in my muffin." But why do that when I can just show it to you.
Priceless. Rachel is seething with jealousy, but she stamps that down and attempts to be happy for Santana. She congratulates Santana, but when they go in for a hug, you can see how can see in her eyes that she is utterly crushed.
Back at McKinley, Brie is still a part of the show and she is still terrible. Now, I know what you're thinking, Kitty was Brie last year. I'll grant you that, but Kitty was at least funny. She delivered some pretty good one-liners. Brie is just awful. Her verbal smackdown of Kitty in the hallway, a result of Kitty's decision not to campaign against Tina since she still has two years to be queen, is yawnworthy and you wonder why Kitty would kowtow to this bitch. And "a flying fart?" Seriously. I know you have to be creative when replacing curse words on network television, but let's never use that expression again.
In the choir room, Sue interrupts Will and "Samgelina Jolie," who is throwing himself a pity party due to the fact that he wasn't nominated for prom king, how not even Tina would go with him and he hasn't been able to keep a girlfriend. Don't despair, Trouty Mouth. There is always Blaine. I know you want to experiment. Blam 4 LIFE! Sue lets the boys know that she is instituting mandatory vaccinations and she is starting with the glee club due to their various inter dating. She is starting with the polio vaccine. When "Busted Timberfake" and "Imbecile Homeless Teen Drifter" attempt to interject their displeasure, Sue threatens to fire Will.
At NYADA, Kurt finds Rachel in the dance studio helping out with the annual piano tuning. She is deep in a state of ennui and Kurt attempts to lift his BFF out of her rejection induced funk.
Sam goes to confront his fear of needles and we are introduced to Student Nurse Penny. She is trying to figure out what to call the polio/meningitis cocktail. She's narrowed it down to polingitis or meningiolio. I didn't think it was possible once Brittany left, but it looks like Sam has met his intellectual equal. He is immediately smitten.
Tina still has her lackey -- er, Asian assistant, Dottie-- who is "helping" her with her prom queen campaign. The walls of McKinley are plastered with pictures of Kitty's head photoshopped onto Olivia Munn's body. The only one who notices that is Artie, because he reads Maxim, y'all. No one is buying Kitty's claims that she had nothing to do with it due to the habitual lying.
At the diner, Santana is getting her flirt on with Dani. Dani is the first legit lesbian that Santana has been interested in. In the past, there has only been bisexual Brittany and experimenting college girls. Santana isn't sure how to handle these feelings and it is making her get "that stinky panic sweat under my boobs." She confides all this to Rachel, who realizes that Santana is nervous and it is adorable. Santana tries to shut all that down but it is too late.
Sam is doing whatever he can to go to the nurses office including, but not limited to, biting himself. Blaine tries to give his bestie and not-so-secret crush some advice letting Trouty know that he has lots to offer the opposite sex. His impressions. And... his impressions. This lackluster pep talk is all it takes for Sam to stomp into Nurse Penny's office only to find that Sue has fired her for incompetence. Shocker. It turns out that she was giving one Cheerio a urine test and the other a vaccination. She got her vials mixed up and well, you know. No, Nurse Penny. I don't know. Please, elaborate. There is no way that Sam is letting the object of his affections go, so he drops trou and Nurse Penny gives her first successful shot. She also gets a peek at Sam's perky booty, so it's a win-win.
Sam heads to Sue's office with his posterior as proof of her competence. Sue knows that Trouty has a crush, but she ultimately chooses to keep Penny around because she needs someone new to torment. That, and she gave her two steroids instead of aspirin. Now, Sue can stop getting them from Mark Mcguire who is super needy. Looks like we'll be seing more of you Nurse Bumble McQuirkypoops.
Dottie is still campaigning hard for Tina using the charming slogan: "Vote for Tina, Don't Be Racist." Brie can see Dottie's discontent and sets her sights on Tina's lackey promising her a Cheerios uniform if she switches teams.
Back in the Big Apple, Rachel and Santana are concluding Rachel's first graveyard shift. Rachel is combing through Broadway magazine, bound and determined to audition for everything including "the role of Bottom in the Cape Cod Players Production of Midsummer and also, Annie Sullivan's landlady in the Miracle Worker now casting at the New Jersey Theater for the Deaf." She also decides to play lesbian matchmaker to Dani and Santana, leaving them alone together to watch the sunrise. After walking her home, Santana and Dani share their first kiss.
It's Brundle Prom time! Tina arrives, dateless ladies in tow. Could this be the rest of the Too Young to Be Bitter Club? Sam and Nurse Penny get their flirt on at the punch bowl, culminating with Sam asking her to dance. Should Jake have been carrying on the Puckerman tradition of spking the punch? Dottie is trying to back out of her plan to humiliate Tina should she win. It seems said plan involves a bucket of red slushie and Tina getting Carrie'd. Brie threatens to out Dottie as a 7th grade bed wetter if she tries to back out.
Wouldn't you know it, Tina and Stoner Brett are named prom queen and king. During Tina's big moment, she is Carrie'd. Kitty tries to stop it, but is too late. Adding insult to injury, the bucket conks Stoner Brett and knocks him out. Utterly humiliated, Tina retreats to the choir room with New Directions in tow.
At first, Tina wants to bolt, head hanging in shame. But with some encouragement from her best gay, Blaine and the Lennon/McCartney songbook Tina gets cleaned up and heads back to enjoy the rest of her senior prom. Not to be mean, but did anyone else laugh at the thought that Kitty's prom dress would fit Tina? Sorry. I'm an asshole.
On Monday, Coach Roz drags Brie into Sue's office by the ponytail. How do these people get away with this stuff?! She knows that Brie was behind the prank. Sue has no idea who Brie is even though she put her on the squad and "chocolate Cheerios" are not common. Coach Roz suggest Sue expel Brie, but Sue has other ideas. She tells Brie to continue to harrass and undermine the glee club because they do better with an enemy. She also feels that they no longer fear her, ever since she put on flannel and sang with them. She promotes Brie to head Cheerio and promises her a Le Car.
At the Diner, Santana has received payment for her commercial. It turns out that she waved all rights to residuals and instead was paid with a lifetime supply of Yeast-I-Stat. I loved the kind of throwaway moment when Gunther takes off with the box of Yeast-I-Stat. Kurt is working at the diner to get some seed money to starat his Madonna cover band. Rachel's confidence is back and they make a pact to stay in NYC for two years no matter what. Campion, Funny Girl's director, shows up in Rachel's section requesting a whole cake. He wants her to write on it, "Congratulations, Rachel Berry. You are Fanny Brice." Rachel understandably freaks out, cue party at Kurt and Rachel's.
Grading the Performances
"Get Back" Typically stellar vocals from Kurt and Rachel, and while I normally love a Kurt/Rachel duet this one left me feeling a little cold. I think it may have been the piano only arrangment. This is the kind of song that lives and dies by the hard driving guitar and drums. B
"Something" Sam's ode to Nurse Penny was sang well enough, but the whole thing was kind of ho hum. I did enjoy the montage of the mooning men of McKinley all lined up outside the pretty young nurse's office, waiting for their shots. B
"Here Comes the Sun" The first showstopper of the night for me was also Demi Lovato's first big musical moment. I really liked the blend of Naya Rivera and Demi Lovato's voices and it left me yearning for more duets to come. The literal setting was a little much. A
"Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" The New Directions are once again prom band and the bust out this deep cut from the album of the same name. I did enjoy the costumes and it was nice for the newbies to have some time to shine. B
"Hey Jude" One of the best songs of all time, sang by one of the show's most charismatic performers, set against a genuinely sweet scene. An easy A
"Let It Be" This was a great scene and a nice melding of each group, the kids in NYC and the New Directions. It was a touch maudlin, just because we know what is coming and I was sure that we'd get a Finn call, but I'm happy I was wrong. A+
Quotables
"I hate to interrupt the blatantly homoerotic overtones of whatever the two of you are on the verge of crying about." - Sue
"I love lady parts." - Dani
"I'm getting that stinky panic sweat under my boobs." - Santana
"I'm sorry, but your mouth is incredibly distracting. Please put a pair of white cotton panties over your head and cover up that horizontal, talking moose knuckle." - Sue
"Now, I'll admit that when the bucket of goo hit the Asian kid in the head it was hilarious. then, the bucket itself fell and hit the stoner kid in the head, knocked him straight to the ground. Priceless. Top notch entertainment. But that does not change the fact that this girl right here needs to understand that pulling hilarious, top notch pranks has consequences." - Coach Roz
"Although, I don't know whose toxic vagina would need that much of the stuff. I mean, if you're producing that much yeast, you should probably start a bakery." - Santana
"Guys, this is so great. It's like Smash Season 1" - Rachel
What are you thoughts? Reactions? Comment away.
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