Friday, October 4, 2013

The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Mothers and Mother-In-Laws

The Real Housewives of Miami, Episode 6: "A Ple-Thora of Lies"


Kids today have a lot to deal with.  They have to deal with the normal things that we've all had to deal with like homework and overbearing parents.  If you're the child of a Real Housewife of Miami, you have a few more things to deal with.  You have to plan your own birthday party.  You have to deal with your friend's mom texting you because she is mad at your mom.  You have to deal with your mom's friends singing happy birthday to you.  It's a lot.  Yes, mommy issues were front and center with this epsiode.  Hit the jump for more.

Alexia seems to be the only housewife who has actual problems.  It's no wonder that she seems the most uniterested in the drama around her.  We got to go to physical therapy with Frankie in this episode and get a look at how hard he is working to recover from the injuries he suffered in the car crash.  Frankie suffers from aphasia which means that he has trouble speaking.  He knows what he wants to say, but it's hard for him to get the words out.  He also will sometimes say whatever pops into his head at any given moment, offensive or no.  He literally has no filter.  You really feel for Alexia and for Frankie.  It can't be easy for her, especially with Peter acting a fool every chance he gets.  Keep on keeping on, Cuban Barbie.  I'm giving you a free pass this episode, but it probably won't last.  Enjoy it.

Joanna made her sister, Marta, her maid of honor.  This was a terrible idea.  She seems completely disinterested.  When she was on the phone with Joanna, the only time she perked up was when Joanna brought up Romain cheating.  When she realized that Jo was talking about the last time, she drifted off again.  Joanna has to go to L.A. to do some wedding planning stuff, prime maid of honor stuff, but Marta can't be bothered.  Luckily, it's Lisa Heller -- er, Lea Black-- to the rescue.  After throwing some barely disguised shade at Joanna's new digs, Lea suggests that she and Lisa head to the City of Angels with Joanna to help her.  Crisis averted or new crises created that we just don't know about yet.

How do you you solve a problem like Lisa?  Does anyone care about her?  Her storyline this season has been wanting a baby, which seems like it would be a relatively easy solution for a woman who is rich and married to a doctor.  For me, Lisa sort of encapsulates what people hate about the franchise.  She is the stereotype.  She's a young woman, married to a rich older man, who seems to do nothing all day and gets rewarded for it.  This feud that she has going on with her mother-in-law is probably meant to humanize her, but it doesn't really work.  Also, she's playing both sides, which is annoying.  She acts like she is a peacemaker, but really she just likes being in the middle of things.  It looks like she has some drama coming up in the next few episodes, maybe it'll change.

Adriana and Lea continued their pointless feud.  They each have super inappropriate interactions with their children.  Lea should not have been texting Alex, Adriana's son, about RJ's (her son's), birthday party.  I dont care if you hate the other kid's mom, you call them and invite them.  Back me up here, moms.  Seriously, I think this is negatively affecting RJ.  Not only did he have to plan his own birthday party, he has some weird idea about dressing up people in top hats and ties and then doing something with gauntlets.  This kid has issues.  And Adriana, you go to the party.  You don't send your fiancé and then show up when the party is half over and act all put out.

Adriana also whipped out some evidence of her own while dress shopping with Lisa, Marysol, and Alexia.  Housewives love them some evidence.  It's nice to see it pulled out before the reunion.  According to a People magazine article from like '95, Lea, who was going by her real name Lisa Heller, all about a secret wedding she had.  This prompts Adriana to blast Lea as a hypocrite and yadda, yadda, yadda.  Classic Adriana.  Instead of taking reponsibilty for her own actions, she tries to push blame on someone else.  Both these bitches need a reality check.  I'm over it.

So, what did you guys think?  Did you feel for Alexia?  Am I wrong about Lisa?  Should Joanna choose a new Maid of Honor?  Are you ready for Adriana and Lea to put this whole thing to bed?  Are you with me on the kids?  Let me know in the comments.

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