American Idol, Episodes 7: "The Boys in Hollywood Part 1"
Ah, Hollywood week. The one time when American Idol seems like you're run of the mill reality show, with cat fights, ridiculous antics, and diva behavior. And that is just from the judges y'all!! This season, the producers have decided to switch things up a bit by dividing the contestants up by gender. First up: the boys. I have to say the first ep was probably the lamest two hours in Idol history. I had to watch it twice, just because it was hard for me to focus. Thursday night's episode picked up though. Nicki Minaj continued to show that she is actually becoming the best judge on the panel. She is serving brutal honesty which is what these contestants need and what the show has been lacking in the past couple of years.
The first part of Hollywood week is the contestants singing individually a cappella. Then, the judges deliberate and either send them through our cut them. This was kind of ho hum. There weren't a lot of stand outs from the people that we had never seen before. Some obvious canon fodder was sent home quickly, including Karl Skinner from OK, the singing doctor, and the firefighter. Nicki also verbally assaulted Cortez Shaw, who sang Whitney Houston's rendition of "I Will Always Love You." Nicki was disgusted and thought that he did a poor job. Randy pointed out that he wasn't Whitney. He got sent through anyways. I loved Cortez's reaction afterwards. "That audition was good, but I need to do better." Oh, Cortez. That self-delusion will serve you will in this biz.
Now it was time for the trademarked Dreaded Group Round. Some of the contestants who had already made it through had already formed groups. Wrong, suckas. Uncle Nigel came out to let them know that this year, the groups had been chosen for them. I kind of loved this twist. 1. Because it upped the drama factor, and 2. because we didn't have to deal with 15 minutes of one or two contestants wandering around trying to find a group.
The first group to have issues was the group that contained Lazaro the Stutterer. The language barrier was an issue and he didn't know any song that they had to choose from because he was born in and Cuban and apparently had never listened to the radio before.
Then there was Trevor Blakney and Lee Pritchard, down home, good ole' country boys, were paired with the resident male divas, according to Ryan and he knows about male divas, Joel Wayman and JDA. Joel and Jade want to do "Moves Like Jagger' and urge the country boys to get out of their comfort zone, but refuse to do the same thing that they are asking.
Then, there is the group that contains Curtis Finch, Jr., Charlie Askew, and Nick Mathis. It starts ok. Curtis is very welcoming, but that didn't last. He shoots down Charlie's idea of Neon Trees without even considering it.
Of course, Pappa Peachez' group is having trouble. I mean, why wouldn't it. It contains Pappa Peachez.
Trevor, Lee, Joel, and Jade, now called Country Queen, is self-destructing. Trevor thinks they only care about the choreography, because he doesn't know the words. He doesn't seem to be trying to learn the words, he just wants to bitch because they didn't pick the song he wants. then, he threatens violence, while crumpling up his lyric sheet. Mature. Apparently, they are singing "More than Words."
The first group who performed contained Matheus Fernandes, who kept talking about how short he was. Whatever, dude. Just can it with that already. It's off putting. His group, who also contained Nick Boddington, Mathenee Treco, and Iowa boy Gabe Brown, performed "Somebody to Love" and it was good. A nice start to the day, and all four guys sailed through. You knew this wouldn't last though.
Normal Hills was next. Seriously, that group name sounds like the name of a BET reality show that focuses on a wealthy neighborhood. This group contains Idol also ran, Johnny Keyser, who was confident about his group's song choice of "Reach Out (I'll Be There)", but today is a different story. I think the kid maybe gets 3 whole words correct. Kareem Clark is wildly off key and also doesn't know the words. Nicki half-heartedly defends them never having heard the song before. Kareem gets the boot, but Johnny and the other two barely scrape by.
Now it was time for Charlie, Curtis, and Nick. Curtis is basically a terrible person. I wonder if he realizes that he is on camera all the time. When Charlie falls ill, Curtis turns on him immediately. In the confessional, Curtis stays stone faced while Charlie and Nick talk about their sense of camaraderie. This guy sucks. He has a good voice, but I just want him to go home now. The boys do a great job performing Bruno Mars' "The Lazy Song", and each judge throws a Gospel hand at some point of the performance. No deliberation, the judges send all three guys straight through.
The next two groups are both sent right through. They contain audition standouts, Micah Johnson, Nate Tao and Cortez Shaw.
It was past time for some horrible groups and mangled lyrics. When I watch these guys completely crash and burn, I wonder, did you just practice for an hour and then go to bed? What is going on? Like Keith pointed out, some of them weren't even able to sing the melody.
B-Sides was the next group. They knew no words, but they tried to make up for it with showmanship and they did make me laugh. I'm pretty sure that I was laughing at them though. That's good, right? This was Nicki's favorite group! Somehow, they all made it through. What is happening? What did Nicki have to promise the other judges. Did she tell Mariah that she would guest on her next three singles? Did she promise to donate some of her personality to Nicole Kidman? Did she offer to help Randy design custom jewelry? Who knows. Nicki tried to explain it, but it was still senseless.
Next was Last Minute. It was another hot mess. No one knew the song. It was just awful. The worst thing is they dedicated it Mariah and Nicki. Wow. If I was a judge, I would have just left. The judges had their revenge. They them all home.
The next group decided to do their song a cappella. Devan Jones, Devin Velez and two more guys sang "Payphone." The judges were flabbergasted at their choice to leave the band out. Seemed like a bad decision. Three out of the four made it through, including Devan and Devin. It has to suck when everyone in your group, but you makes it through.
Tony Foster, Jr., Mario Jose, Burnell Taylor, and Darien Moses were up next singing "Some Kind of Wonderful." You thought it might be a mess, but it was actually pretty good. Tony and Burnell went through, the other two got the big boot.
Next up, is Lazaro the Stutterer's group. They are singing a Beach Boys song that Lazaro still doesn't know. He'd never even heard of the Beach Boys. Come on. I get that he has a story and an OK voice, but seriously. How can you be on Idol if you haven't heard any of the songs you'd have to sing. Josh Stephens, Scott Fleenor, and Christian Lopez were Lazaro's fellow group mates. It was a hot mess. No one knew the words and they were down a half step. There was no blending, as Mariah pointed out. Josh and Scott got the boot and Josh was a bitter Betty. He blamed Lazaro and sort of congratulated Lazaro, in a backhanded way.
It was time for Country Queen. Their lack of hard work certainly paid off. It was super awkward and uncomfortable. Especially, when Trevor imploded. I think sometimes you can save yourself, even if you mess up immensely, if you try to just go for it and entertain, but Trevor didn't do that. You could see him mentally berating himself. JDA, Joel, and Lee made it through. Trevor left a crying mess. Forlornly, meandering down the sidewalk.
David Leathers, Jr., Kevin Quinn, Kayden Stephenson, and Sanni M'Mairura are the youngest contenders so of course they got put in a group together. David made it to the very end last year, just missing the live votes. Kayden is the cystic fibrosis kids. He was not good. It sort of got away from him at the very beginning and he couldn't get it back. David and Sanni made it through. Mariah was deeply upset that they got rid of Kayden, but Nicki made a good point. Based solely on the voice, it was a good decision.
Pappa Peachez group is fighting in the confessional, right before they go on. So, yeah. This is going to be great. Frankie the Subway busker from the NYC auditions is making excuses up to the minute they walk out on stage. He is crying. What a mess. Besides PP, there is Adam Sanders, Frankie Ford, and Charles Allen. This was another super awkward, uncomfortable mess. Frankie just starts crying, mouthing I'm sorry to the judges. Charles and Adam are the only ones who keep it together. PP just doesn't give a shit. He's like the honey badger. Frankie gets sent home and I feel genuinely bad for him. I'm worried about him and I'm pretty sure Mariah is too. You can tell because she kept touching her extensions. Frankie's meltdown outside was even more awkward then his actual performance. So, the less said about it the better.
That was the end of day 1. It was awful. The boys are not that great this year, which kind of makes me happy, because I want a girl to win. It is well past time. What did you guys think?
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