American Idol, Episode 3: "Charlotte, NC
If you only looked at the above picture and didn't read anything else, you may think that the newest judges on Idol love each other and it's all sunshine, rainbows, lollipops and puppies. Of course, we know better and we know that, according to Seacrest, this is where "it all goes off the rails." Since, you know, it was going so well before. Before we get to the "fight" there are some other things that had me scratching my head during Wednesday's episode.
First, the auditions are being held in Charlotte, NC, the same place where season 9 winner, Scotty McCreery auditioned. Scott was there to cheer on the hopefuls and talk with a girl he went to school with. Was it just me or did she look like she would rather be anywhere else than talking with Scotty. Her serious stank face during that convo was one of the highlights of the episode. Speaking of Scotty, was he in the back seat of the race car that Ryan was driving before the first break? And if so, was he there against his will? Scotty, knock on the window three times if you need help. It'll be OK, Scotty!!! Baby, lock them doors and turn the lights down low!!!
Secondly, I know that Nicki catches a lot of flak, but let's be real. She is the most entertaining person on that panel. From her outfits, to her wigs, to her nicknames, to the ladybugs and saying popping over and over again, Nicki is in it to win it, America!!! I'm also digging her burgeoning friendship with Keith. I love how they always chit chat, share trail mix, and I think Keith has decided to be on her side, and I'm OK with it. So, on to the auditions!!
The first golden ticket recipient was 27-year-old, Brian Rittenberry, whose wife recently survived stage 4 cancer and has a hall pass with Keith Urban. After some uncomfortable bantering, Keith brought it back to the matter at hand. Brian sang a serviceable rendition of "Let It Be." It was a little shout-y to me. Every note was turned up to 11. I did agree with Keith's comment about his vibrato being on point, I'm just hoping that in Hollywood he shows that he can sing in variable volumes.
Jimmy Smith, 25, looks like he is maybe going to single, white, female Keith. Seriously, same shirt, open to the middle of his chest, same jeans, same hair, except for Jimmy's horrendous perm. Seriously. If boyfriend makes it to the finals, let's hope that mess is the first to get taken care of. Jimmy sang "God Bless the Broken Road" and pretended to not be scared when Nicki called him "mad fly" and "popping." It made me wonder if Jimmy had ever seen a black person before, and if not, how unfortunate that the first one he meets is a cartoon character with cotton candy hair. Keith was on target when he said that Jimmy sounded just like Gary LeVox, lead singer of Rascal Flatts. I hate that guy, so that could be why Jimmy didn't do much for me, but he did have a voice that would sound right at home on country radio. Also, why did Randy shout, "Let them eat cake" at the end of his audition? Was he having stroke? And seriously, if he was, who would know?
Next we saw brief snippets of auditions by Sarina Joi-Crowe, Haley Davis, and Na'Chelle Fullins-Lovell, out of the three, Na-Chelle was the most memorable, only because she tried to ape Mariah's famous octave range, in front of Mariah. All three received golden tickets and the impression that you probably won't see them again.
Isabel Gonzalez continued season 12's parade of ridiculously mature teenagers. She was invited to the audition by Randy, who was taken to her school by bus. Knowing the Dawg, I was afraid that he was going to make some inappropriate comment about Rosa Parks, but the Dawg surprised me. In a good way, for once. Isabel sang "Nothing Could Ever Change This Love," and I was spellbound. Isabel was poised, I loved her smooth, jazzy, crooner style voice. You could definitely picture her in a dark, smoky, jazz club with only a piano. I totally agreed with Nicki about her effortless riffs. Very cool.
Taisha Bethea is the lead singer of a band called "Carson." Her bandmates accompanied her to her audition was pretty cool since they seemed supportive. Taisha first sang "Folsom Prison Blues" after telling the judges that she wanted to be a rock star. Randy is incredulous, or he would be if he knew what that word meant. How can Johnny Cash be rock and roll?? I don't know Dawg, ask Rick Rubin. Next, Taisha sang a note for note imitation of "You Oughta Know." I liked Taisha. She was not cookie cutter. I enjoyed her voice. Mariah and Randy got on my nerves. Why can't a rock singer sing a country singer or vice versa. I completely agreed with Nicki about how she kind of went against type with her song choices and style. I liked her. Thank goodness Keith arbitrarily made himself the tie breaker.
Right after a montage of Randy and Mariah disagreeing with almost everything Nicki said, it was time. It almost seemed like Mariah talked to Randy, and they decided together to just be douchey. There were ridiculous amounts of shade throwing and side eyes before Summer Cunningham entered and sang "Lean on Me." Then, she made the mistake of saying she did the "country thing" for a while. This seemingly innocuous comment was what set the whole thing off. Randy latched on to her having a country sounding voice and Mariah followed suit. They then started to pretty much interrogate the poor girl. I half expected Uncle Nigel to bring a metal folding chair and a spotlight to the stage. With each comment, Nicki was becoming more and more enraged. Finally, Roman had had enough. On this particular issue, I'm firmly on Team Minaj. The way that all went down was pretty ridonk. I'm not for sure why they harp on these poor contestants so much, and Nicki was right on. Then, Mariah and Randy continued to make snarky comments until Nicki walked off. Seriously, how old are you people? You are 42 and like 60-100, who knows how old the Dawg is? Grow up. I'm surprised Nicki didn't knock their heads together. The whole thing was not nearly as dramatic as the "leaked" cell phone video was. There was mad editing done, so who knows what really happened? Hopefully, these three can finally start acting like adults.
The first contestant of day 2 was Brandy Hamilton. Brandy is a Navy reservist who was chastised for singing. She was great. Sassy. Fun. She sang "All I Could Do Was Cry" and was sensational. I totally agreed with Nicki that you felt every word that she sang. It was an interesting song choice and all the judges raved. She also left the judges with a message that sounded like it should have come from a five year old. "Please don't fight. It makes me sad." Welcome to Hollywood, Brandy!!!!
From the moment Ashley Smith took a large bite of her sandwich and loudly proclaimed it was good, I was pretty much in love with her. The whole montage of her rambling to fellow contestants and high fiving the producer who was interviewing her made me want to be her BFF. I was also pretty sure her audition was going to be a hot mess. I'm so happy that I was wrong. She sang a fantastic cover of "Cowboy Casanova." Her personality showed through, she was mad entertaining. Unfortunately, she re-affirmed Randy's adage that if you can sing you can sing anything, so no end to that in sight. Mariah was right the newly-christened "Blondie" was effervescent. Here's hoping that she continues to shine in Hollywood.
Next up was Janelle Arthur, who started out playing Dolly Parton at a theme park? Who thinks it was Dollywood? I mean, what other theme park would have a Dolly Parton themed show? For reals. Janelle sang a fast paced version of Keith's "Where the Blacktop Ends" along with table percussion provided by Mr. Urban. She had a really great, pure country voice. Nicki nailed it when she said Janelle seemed like a star already. Liked how she changed songs mid audition. Awesome.
Next up was the "Voice of Charlotte," Rodney Barber. He sings on the street and apparently a million people have called him the "Voice of Charlotte." That could be hyperbole though. Rodney sang a passable version of "I'll Be." It was nice enough, but I didn't hear anything unique. I have a feeling that he made it to Hollywood on the strength of his sob story. There was more talk about his inspiring story than his awesome voice. He seems poised to be early Hollywood week canon fodder.
Candice Glover was up next. She was cut last year during Vegas. Candice sang an off the chain version of Duffy's "Syrup and Honey." She did a great job. She belted, but she also showed a lot of restraint. Her standing O from Randy and Mimi was well deserved. Right now, Candice is basically a shoo in for the top 12. I mean, unless Nicki skins her and wears her, which, let's be real, could happen.
Next we had spunky frog legs loving, Ja'Bria Barber. She sang Bonnie Raitt's version of "Pride & Joy." Again, a really mature interpretation of a song you would not expect a 16-year-old to sing. She had a really clear, bright tone. Her personality shone through. You know you are doing something right when Mariah is singing along. When Randy said she wasn't scared, I think she should be after that body shimmy Randy did.
The final contestant of the day was Seretha Guinn. Seretha is the mother of an adorable 3-year-old who is obsessed with Nicki and calls her Dun Dun. First, hopefully Seretha's daughter is listening to the edited version of Nicki's song, because not appropriate for children. Seretha's husband/boyfriend was recently in a car accident and he had no idea that she was there auditioning. Seretha sang a cute cover of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air with some adjustments. I liked her. Her voice wasn't ah mah zing or anything, but there was just something about her that I enjoyed.
In total, 37 people made it to Hollywood from Charlotte. Some awesome auditions. So, what do you think? Will Mimi and Roman finally behave? Should Keith just stop wearing shirts altogether? Sing me a tune in the comments.
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